If You Died

Part 2

I wake up tired, with eyes stinging, and clothes drenched in tears. Everything from yesterday starts flooding back. I killed her. It was my fault.

I feel the tears coming again. No! I wipe them away, I need to be brave! I can be brave! Right?

I can do this! I go to the bathroom and look at myself. I look like a monster. Literally. My hair is messy, my eyes are red, and my clothes are wrinkled. Great. I look like who I'm supposed to look like, a killer.

They're waiting for me. All eyes shoot up to look at me when I step in the kitchen for breakfast. They keep telling me it's not my fault.

I take a deep breath and tell myself they're right.
~~~
I'm at your funeral now.

Sitting in the front row. Everyone is crying. There isn't a dry eye in the crowd. I stare at your lifeless body. Your pale skin.

I remember how it used to be full of color.

Your body is laying on a bed of flowers. I helped to pick them.

How did this happen?

Every confidence I had in myself leaves my body.

I'm blaming myself once again.