Pained (Jungkook BTS werewolf Fanfic)

Chapter 7

Song "Stay" Mayday Parade

9th February 2014

Dear Diary 

I know it's been about a week since my last entry but I've been busy. In light of my last entry I went to see a doctor concerning my weight and worries for the baby. Obviously it took sometime to find a decent werewolf doctor who would see me even though I wasn't carrying a pup from a wolf from there pack;  once I did however, I was still nervous. 

It was pretty bad, as soon as I walked into the office for my appointment the receptionist was following me with her eyes like a worried mother duck watching her ducklings attempt to swim for the first time. When I walked up to her to sign in for my appointment she had a worried smile on her face and I finally realized just how bad I looked. I reassured her at the time that I was fine but I couldn't get the pitying and truly concerned look she sent me out of my head. I guess I lost my balance when I went to sit down as I heard her inhale quickly. 

When I finally got into the doctors office the lady was facing her computer, when I sat down and she looked up her smile fell immediately. I felt so ashamed of myself at that moment. I began to think of all the pitying looks I had received but never thought twice about as I was too busy moping and I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me up into an oblivion.

She began by asking me what my main concern was but I could tell that she knew why I was there and was just putting up a front of professionalism. I mean you only had to glance at me to see I was too skinny. After explaining the situation generally, without telling her the exact details, she diagnosed me with depression, which she said would be why I had no appetite and trouble sleeping.

I told her I wanted my baby to be as healthy as possible and that I needed help. She set me up with a dietary plan, which she told me to follow for the time being and let her know if I was struggling to follow it. She also sorted out an appointment for a counselor of sorts, who I saw earlier today- the alpha of their pack allowed me in as a special case, even though I was "harbouring" a pup that counted as a rogue. It was awkward at first, every wolf stared at me as I walked past, even though I was weak I could tell they were all on guard, which unnerved me but I feel more at ease knowing I've gotten help. I feel as though I'm opening a new page of my life.

I haven't felt Jungkook's pain as much. There's the occasional burst of sadness which knocks me off guard but other than that the past week has been better. I miss him dearly but I feel as though I'll be alright. 

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I'd like to apologize for my lack of writing capabilities when it comes to producing fictional pieces of work. I'm only really good at bullsh*tting my way through professional/ formal writings. 

Basically if the writing sounds childish or is in the wrong tense (e.g. swapping between past and present) I'm moronic in this field and probably wont even notice it so... 

Great work me :) *heavy sarcasm intended*