found / mgc

chapter seven - tired & crazy

"You don't have to" he looked at me "You just have to tell me who those people were."

"They looked like freaks, really." he chewed his gum loudly, so loud that I couldn't hear my own thoughts "One of the men was fat and he had a mustache, like the ones in those films."

I nodded "And the others?"

"The woman was blonde but her roots were dark and the other man smelled like alcohol."

"And the girl?"

"She looked really sad and lost."

I thanked him and walked towards the exit.

"Wait." he said and I turned imediately "I think they own a cabin somewhere in the woods."

I gave him a smile and ran to the car. Michael was smoking. We both looked at each other and got in the car, without saying anything. We started to understand each other without words.

"I can tell that you found something important. Speak."

"A cabin in the woods."

And I drove for and hour, listening to Michael complain.

"I adore complaining. It calms the nerves." he said while he looked out the window.

I personally was so tired I couldn't see. The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love?

And then I stopped the car.

"What happened?" he asked confused

"I need a moment of peace and quiet," I snapped, rubbing my temples.

"From what?"

I massaged my pale skin and sighed. "From this mess." I paused "I'm tired and lonely, and you're the only person I can talk to without putting myself at risk and I hate it."

He let out a low laugh. "How absurd"

"You can leave if you're just going to insult me."

"But it's my car." He flashed one of his grins. I glared at him.

I realized there was nowhere to go. And I just had to stay here, facing this terrible truth. I felt just how tired I was, a tiredness that had nothing to do with the hour. I was tired of running away from this, tired of not telling people, tired of not talking about it, tired of pretending things were okay.

I feel dark circles under my eyes sink deeper and deeper into my skull, in contrast to my pale skin. "I look at you and all I feel is tired."

-Michael's POV-

The car was still stopped in the middle of the road and, turning her head, she glanced out. Something inside her sank, and she suddenly felt defeated.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. In the past week, she'd started experiencing these moments of desperate emptiness. Meanwhile, all that was happening to her was that she was getting older and smaller, and one day she would be no bigger than a dot, and then she would simply disappear. Poof!

She is beautiful when she's not sad. She should have been thrilled. But instead, she felt tired. Like all those features and thoughts belonged to someone else.

She was always tired, these days. She put on one of those smiles that wasn't really a smile at all, and they went on. She felt dirty, ugly and tired.

I'm just like the tree... strong-looking but slowly dying.

"I feel I need a holiday, a very long holiday. Probably a permanent holiday." I said and she just nodded "I feel a lot of nothing these days. I've cried a few times, but mostly I'm empty."

She gave me a smile, just like the ones my mother gives me, the "I understand you" smiles. But the difference between her and my mom is that she actually understands. More than anyone.

"The thought of going to sleep forever is delicious." she said.

I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in which she didn't annoy me. We didn't agree on much. In fact, we didn't agree on anything. We fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite our differences, we had one important thing in common - we were weird together.

I opened a bottle of water and handed it to her "To douchebags!" she said, gesturing to me. Then, our laugh filled the car, and the whole road.

This could twist my brain around and leave me thinking up is down and right is wrong. But I guess this is the problem I want to have. It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you like them.

"We should go home and take a shower."

She sook her head "No. We can do this."

I rolled my eyes. She is crazy. It is good to be around a such optimistic person when you're lost.

But I'm crazy too.

I swear to God I am.

 

/////

(a/n)

This chapter is not long but I am soooooo happy with it because I found it difficult to write from Michael's p.o.v.