Climbing the Walls (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"WAKE UP BUTTER CUP!" Yep. That's how I was woken up then next morning. I groaned and rolled over as Louis started jumping up and down on my bed. "C'mon, gotta adjust to the time zone! It's noon! You're not allowed to sleep until fourteen hundred again! My voice puts you to sleep and now it's going to pull you from it!" His last sentence made me look up at him. I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized my IPod was sitting on the table next to my bed. He finally stopped jumping and sat next to me, smiling. "It's not good to fall asleep with your headphones in," he winked. I tried to smack him on the arm, but I was just too damn tired, so my hand just kind of flopped.

"Your voice is pretty," I complimented sleepily. Maybe if I flattered him he'd give me some more time to sleep. Not that it wasn't true. Louis' voice was flawless.

"Daww, thanks love!" he replied in a girly voice. I smiled and rolled over, snuggling back into the sheets and pillows. "But you're not getting off that easy." I frowned and hid my face in the pillow."Liam's getting ready to spend the day with Sydney, and the other lads are at the grocery store. Oh, and Niall wanted me to tell you he was getting Oreo's." I sat up so quickly in response.

"He did?" I couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped my lips. And I didn't need to. I knew why Louis came to talk to me, but I decided to pretend that I didn't.

"No," Louis smirked, and my face dropped. That would've been cute... No, I would not allow myself to have hopes. Hopes just get torn down. "I just wanted to see how you'd react." Time to act clueless.

"Why?" I asked in the best utterly confused voice I could muster. Apparently I have to work on that.

"You know!" he exclaimed, "Don't act like you don't!" Still, I just stared at him as if he was speaking some kind of foreign language. "Okay, guess I have to be direct about this. What's going on between you and little Nialler?" he asked bluntly.

"Nothing!" I answered, even though I could feel my face deepen a shade of red. Wait, why was I blushing? There wasn't anything between Niall and me. Well... No. Nothing. Or at least nothing that would lead to a happily ever after, therefore nothing worth spending time on. I decided a long time ago that I was doomed to be a cat lady.

"Mhm. Okay. I'm not blind like all of the other lads appear to be, Haley. I mention Oreo's and Niall in the same sentence and you smile like you won the bloody lottery!" Of course that made me do exactly what Louis just predicted I would do. "See? I don't understand what Oreo's is code for, but it seems to mean something to you. And you've been blushing from the second I mentioned Niall's name." Of course, I blushed even more. I looked down, blushing and smiling like I was Clifford the Big Red Dog. "Exactly," he concluded.

"I don't like Niall. There's nothing going on. Nothing will ever go on between us. I don't like him." I wasn't sure if those words were to argue with Louis or to save myself. Whoever they were for, neither of those people seemed very convinced.

"Why can't you just admit it?" he asked, seeming to be losing his patience with me. "You make it so obvious, might as well just say it." I looked up worriedly.

"I do?" I asked, "I make it obvious?" That wasn't good.

"Ha! You admit to it!" he hollered victoriously. "Maybe I'm the only one who notices it, but personally to me you might as well have "I have a crush on Niall Horan" stamped right across your pretty little forehead."

"I do not have a crush on him!" I denied. Why was Louis trying to convince me of having emotions I forbade myself to have? Couldn't he see that I couldn't like Niall?

"Haley, I can read you like a book. Why don't you want to confess? I'm sure he'd fancy you right back, or at least that's how it seems to me. Do you think he's too old for you? Because age is just a number. And I can promise you, he won't hurt you." That last one set off the bomb.

"How do you know? You never expect people to hurt you, and then they do! They hurt you in every way possible! Even the most unsuspicious, adorable, sweetest seeming people are capable of horrible things, Louis. I learned the hard way to never trust anyone." I'm not really sure what came over me, it just came out. I couldn't thwart it. My nose felt tingly and pressure was building up in my skull, salty tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. Louis no longer seemed gossipy or urgent to get me to confess my feelings for Niall. His face had gone completely serious, and he seemed a bit concerned.

"Haley, what happened?" he asked in a comforting, supportive voice. I inhaled shakily as I bit the inside of my cheek. I just shook my head, not trusting my voice. "I know something happened to make you think like that. We both know perfectly well that Niall would never hurt anyone, especially not you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Here I was, with a boy I just met, who I was about to spill the whole truth to. No, Niall and Harry knew absolutely nothing. Louis Tomlinson was about to learn the darkest part of me, the thing that ripped the ability to trust right from the heart, the thing that only Chase and I knew about. Louis was about to learn everything.

"In seventh grade," I started, "I fell very hard for this guy in my grade. He was the dream guy; perfect looks, outgoing, hilarious, loveable, and sweet. Or at least that's what he led me to believe. I had the biggest crush on him, and one day in the fall he asked me out. I literally thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. He always told me he loved me, held my hand, sat with me at lunch, made me feel like I was beautiful for the first time ever, like I was actually someone special. But then one day he just... completely changed into this... this... monster." My voice broke on that last word and I tried my best to hold in my sobs, making my head ache. I felt Louis rubbing soothing circles on my back with his hand, urging me to go on. "It was just a random day..." I told him the story of the day that everything changed.

*Flashback*

"C'mon!" Chase said, holding my hand and running towards the woods. I just giggled and tried to keep up. He had told me he had a surprise for me. I was a little worried, knowing how badly he wanted to kiss me, but I didn't want to. Not yet. But I had told him I wasn't ready, and I knew that he would respect that choice. So instead of letting my mind linger on that, I focused on the beautiful boy in front of my. His black hair was shining gorgeous shades of blue under the spring sun. His soft hand gripped mine comfortably, not too tight, just like he always did. "Hurry up, ya little slow poke!" he joked, and I giggled again. His voice was the most unbelievably magical sound in the whole world, like pure music to my ears. I was just a stupid thirteen year old, head over heels for her first love.

We approached the outskirts of the forest, and he guided me hurriedly down the steep slope. I slipped and slid down the hill, screaming. I heard the footsteps behind me stop, and they were replaced my laughter as Chase slid down the hill as I had. He was still laughing when he met me at the bottom, and he shot up like a rocket. I tried not to show that I was in pain as he kept heading farther into the woods. I quickly brushed off and ran to keep up with him. My clothes had gotten dirty, which I was kind of upset about, but I didn't want to be a Debby Downer and ruin the surprise, so I didn't complain. "Where are you taking me?" I asked for about the millionth time.

"I told you, you'll see!" he said, his voice tinged with annoyance. I mentally flinched and regretting asking again. I tripped over a branch and fell on my face. I was not a woodsy person. "C'mon!" Chase yelled again, pulling me off of the forest floor not exactly in a gentle manner. I mumbled an apology and kept going. I think that was the first sign that made me realize this was not going to be a very good day. "Almost there!" he exclaimed. I smiled, but butterflies were rising in my stomach. "And... now!" he screamed. Before I even knew what was going on, he gripped my shoulders and violently smacked me against a tree, causing great pain to shoot through the back of my head. He crashed his lips against mine, and for the few seconds I was in too much of a confused daze to even realize what was going on. But then it finally hit me.

"Stop," I begged against his lips, shoving him off of me when he wouldn't stop. He was panting and smiling like a mad man. "Chase, I told you I wasn't ready," I whimpered.

"What, so you didn't like that?" he questioned angrily. I looked down. What the hell was going on? "Do you not love me anymore?" he asked, now hurt in his voice. That made my heart ache. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of his pain.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I love you. I'm ju-" I started, but was cut off.

"Then why won't you kiss me back?" he demanded, and I wasn't sure of he sounded mad or sad. I didn't want him to be either one. I opened my mouth to speak again, but he just started sucking my face again. I let out a few indignant squeaks as I tried to push him off, but he was strong and I was not. He finally stumbled backwards to catch his breath. "You ungrateful little prude!" he yelled at me, "Why won't you just fucking kiss me? Don't you know how many other girls would die to make out with me?" His words stung like whips. Tears started rolling down my cheeks, despite my efforts to keep them in. His face softened a bit. "I chose you over them. If you don't want me anymore, just tell me."

"Chase, it's not that, you know it's not that." He wouldn't let me finish.

"So you're just a prude then?" I was so incredibly bewildered I couldn't even speak. So one day I was his beautiful baby girl, the most perfect person in the world, the light of his life, and the next I was a prude? How could he be forcing himself upon me and insulting me right to my face? What happened to the sweet gentleman I fell in love with? "Fine, whatever, have a nice life." He turned and started storming away when I finally found my voice.

"Chase, wait!" I called and he stopped walking, but didn't turn around. "I'm sorry! I love you! I-I don't know what I'd do without you! Please, please forgive me," I begged, sobbing.

"Will you kiss me?" he asked, taunting me, knowing he had me in the palm of his hand.

"Yes!" I cried desperately. He turned around with a smug, cocky smile and walked back to me. Not that I noticed his arrogance at the time. I was so in love that I blamed myself for not wanting to kiss him. I was his little doll to play with, and he knew it perfectly well. As he pressed his lips to mine again, I didn't protest. I did my best to kiss him back, not wanting to upset him again. As much as I tried to convince myself, there were absolutely none of the fireworks that you're supposed to feel when you kiss the love of your life. None at all. Just an unpleasant sensation being thrust upon my face.

*End of flashback*

I was uncontrollably sobbing into Louis' shirt, and he was making soothing cooing noises, rubbing my back and holding me in his arms. He was assuring me that everything was okay, and he said I could take a break. But I couldn't stop myself. Next I told him about the other worst day of my life.

*Flashback*

Chase had been forcing kisses upon me for about six weeks now, but they had been scarcer the past two weeks. I knew that should be a relief, seeing as how I hated his kisses, but it kind of worried me. I was walking home from Julia's house one Saturday afternoon when all of my suspicions and worries were proved. Right there, on mine and Chase's favorite bench in our favorite park, he was making out with another girl.

I didn't recognize her, and I assumed she was from the next town over. I heard those girls were sluts. She was tall, blonde, tan, and obviously more desirable than I was. He was holding her in a way thirteen year olds should not be holding each other. I let out a whimper, unable to move. Chase looked up like a deer in headlights. The blonde whore just stared at me like I was a circus freak. "Haley," Chase started to attempt an explanation, but I ran. I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me, all the way home. I was so glad that only my brother was home and he was in his room so there was no one to explain my tears to. No one knew about my boyfriend, so this would all just be too complicated.

I ran upstairs and threw my face into my pillow, sobbing my heart out. Billy had music blasting, so he couldn't hear my. I cried and cried, I just couldn't stop. Chase cheated on me. No, no I refused to believe it. But I had seen it with my own eyes. There was no denying it, Chase had found a much prettier girl, a girl who wouldn't deny him the kisses he craved. It was my worst nightmare. But when my phone buzzed, I couldn't help but pick up.

"Hey," I said shakily into the receiver, still sobbing.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. That slut means nothing to me; she just forced herself on me. I didn't even know what was going on, and when I heard you whimper I realized. I didn't mean to hurt you babe. You're the only girl for me," Chase's voice poured through the phone. I knew he was lying, he clearly knew what he was doing, but I decided to just forgive him. I was the luckiest girl in school, because I was Chase Parker's girlfriend. Or at least that's what I thought right then. "Don't cry pretty baby, I'm sorry. I screwed up. You're the only babe I need." I didn't even realize how possessive his little nicknames were. I perceived them as cute.

"It's okay, I understand," I lied, still sobbing. I would never forget what I saw that day, and I would always remember how it felt to have my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. The pieces would never be glued back together, but I pretended to not even be phased. I didn't want to lose him.

When we were hanging out a week later, I tried to act the way the blonde girl did. I didn't even notice that I was changing myself for him. I didn't care. I tried to ignore it when his phone buzzed and he replied with a look on his face that I did not like at all. But when he was in the bathroom and the contact I.D. read "Brittany my slut♥ :* " I couldn't help but click on it, opening the conversation.

Hey sexy ;)

Oh hey there slut ;)

How r u hot stuff?

Fantastic cuz im talkin 2 the sexiest bitch alive♥

Hell yeah u r ;)

And I love it

U no u do! Lol when can we hang outtt?

Im free 2mrw

Soundz good ;)

Can't wait♥

Me neither, I miss u babyyy

I wish I was with u

Me toooo im so lonely :(

"What are you doing?" Chase asked, anger rising up in his voice. I dropped the phone, too shocked to speak. He picked it up and looked at the screen, throwing it back on the couch furiously.

"I-I," I stuttered, guilt sweeping over me.

"You what? Read my texts? Don't trust me? Good, you shouldn't trust me you snoopy little bitch! This slut is way hotter than you! And she actually knows how to kiss! I'm just dating you because you have a better reputation. I don't actually love you, I just don't want people to know about Britanny because everyone knows she's a whore." I didn't believe my ears. I just ran past him and out of his empty house before he could see me cry. What the hell gave him the right to talk to me like that? What happened? What had I done wrong? I shouldn't have resisted his kisses that day in the woods. Well, that's what I thought in seventh grade. Now I knew that I was just an idiot and he was a douche. But back then I didn't know that, and I forgave him once again.

*End of flashback*

"Haley, I'm so sorry. None of those things he said are important. You're a beautiful, wonderful, amazing person, and you didn't deserve that," Louis said, hugging me tightly. I was still crying my heart out. I hadn't cried this hard in years, I hadn't allowed myself to recall those memories for two years. Now they were all just coming out. I couldn't stop there; if I told Louis those two stories then I had to tell him the last one. He told me it was fine, that I should just forget about it, but I insisted. He didn't stop me, he just held me tighter and continued to listen intently.

*Flashback*

"You little fucking slut!" Chase yelled in my face.

"I never kissed him!" I squealed back, losing my patience and my temper.

"Yeah, okay," he scoffed sarcastically, sneering. "I don't know why I always forgive you. You're such an ugly little bitch." I couldn't take this anymore.

"Oh, I'm the one who needs to apologize? I'm the slut? No, you're the little man whore! You're always going behind my back with that blonde whore, and I pretend I don't fucking notice! And I don't know why! You're always yelling at me, forcing kisses on me that I don't want, and insulting me and blaming me but it's not my fault! You're the one screwing up this whole relationship! I try to fix things and make you happy. I forgive you when I fucking see you groping that slut right in front of me, and when you hear a rumor that isn't even true about me kissing Brad it's unacceptable? No, what's unacceptable is you!" I shouted at him, tears of anger stinging in my eyes. I was so fed up and frustrated I couldn't even think straight. Then the unthinkable happened. Chase pulled back his hand and slapped me full-force across the face.

The force was so hard I fell to the ground. I held my face in shock, looking up into his harsh blue eyes with tears of pain in my golden ones. I couldn't believe he just hit me. A few months ago everything seemed perfect, and now my whole world was in ruins. I crumpled and sobbed, and he had the nerve to actually kick me. "Stop crying, jackass, you know you deserve this," he growled, pulling me off of my ground. I just sobbed and yelped at he beat me and cursed me off, saying things that gentlemen never say to ladies. When he had gotten all his anger out, he just threw my sore, bruised, shaking body on the ground and started walking away.

"You heartless motherfucking bastard," I sobbed, and his rigid body stopped in place for a moment. I braced myself for my blows, but they didn't come.

"Don't make me hurt you more, bitch. We're done." And with that, he left my life forever.

*End of flashback*

Even Louis was crying now, but softly and silently, trying to be strong for me. I appreciated that. "Haley, I will never let anything like that happen to you ever again. None of the boys will," he assured me, his moist blue green eyes locking with my red-tainted topaz ones. But he was just a blur.

"Thank you, Lou," I said, embracing to tightly I thought one of us might break. "I've never told anyone any of that in my entire life, not even Harry. It feels good to finally get it out," I admitted with a sigh, sobs subsiding. Only a few more tears fell, but now that all three horrible memories were over I could relax again. Louis held be in his arms like a child and rocked me back and forth, and it was very soothing. "Please don't tell anyone, not even Harry or Niall," I pleaded in a whisper.

"I won't," he promised. "But I think you should tell them. When you're ready," he advised. I nodded in agreement.

"But do you get why I can't like Niall now? I know that he would never ever do anything like that to anyone, but still. I'm just too scared to ever love again. All the faith I've ever had in love is gone," I whispered. He nodded.

"I understand. But you can't just never love again. I think you should welcome new love with open arms, someone who can show you what real love is. I think that Niall could really build up your hope again. And I promise he won't tear it down," Louis said. I knew what he was saying was true, but I shook my head.

"I-I just can't."

"I know it seems hard, but I think you have to. You should be ready, but you'll never be ready if you never prepare yourself or try," he said. He was right again. I let out a soft sob and he held me tenderly, like a protective older brother.

"Maybe," I mumbled into his striped shirt. We heard the boys get home and Liam's shower end and I looked up. "I should probably wash up," I laughed half-heartedly. I probably looked like a complete wreck. Louis smiled at me sadly and kissed me on the top of my head. He gave me one last squeeze, then left me alone in my room, shutting the door gently. I think it was safe to say that Louis Tomlinson was becoming my new best friend.






A/N***

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