Climbing the Walls (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22






*Dani's P.O.V.*

"Derek?" I called lightly, poking the door so it slightly creaked open about another two inches. I peered in as a few more sniffles silenced the sobs. I could tell they had been held back, not stopped, so I walked over to the unmoving lump that was resting under the brown duvet. "There, there," I said, rubbing the lump as I sat next to him.

"Get your hands off me. You're rubbing my ass," he informed me in a mumble.

"Ew!" I quickly removed my hand and he revealed his face to smirk at me. His eyes were read and puffy, tears glistening on his cheeks. I felt like I might cry at the sight. I hated when Derek cried, he was my wall, my source of strength. He always has been and always will be. "Aw, DerBear." I leaned down and hugged him, cooing words of comfort. Haley was much better at the whole comforting thing than I was, but I would try my best for my brother. I'd do anything for him, because I knew he would do anything for me.

"It's ok," he sighed. "I just really liked him..." he trailed off, sobbing again. I rubbed his back and squeezed him tight, knowing how much he was hurting. Derek rarely ever fell for people, and when he fell he fell hard. "I'm sure Michelle's gorgeous and a wonderful person, she has to be to be worthy of him. I'm happy for them. I just really wish it was me with him." I let him rant as I comforted him. I knew all he really needed was someone to listen to him, so that's what I did. I lifted my head for a second to see Zayn standing in the doorway just as Derek muttered, "It's my own fault. I'm such an idiot, falling for a straight guy."

Zayn's expression looked heartbroken at that statement. I was about to say something, but I didn't know what. Good thing he said something first. "You're not an idiot," he said softly, in practically a whisper. I was shocked at how devastated he looked. I looked over at Derek, who just looked absolutely mortified. He pulled the edge of the bed cover over his face, as if that would hide him from his problems like children do to stay safe from monsters. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in, I just wanted to see if he was okay," Zayn started, apologizing to me. I shook my head with a sad smile on my face.

"It's fine," I replied softly. I knew Zayn loved Derek, even though it wasn't in a romantic way. And I knew it hurt him almost as much as it hurt me to see Derek like that. He smiled slightly at me, but then it vanished again as he approached the bed and sat down on the end.

"Derek," he said gently. He received no response. He sighed and looked at me, desperation clear in his eyes. I just motioned for him to go on with whatever it was he had to say. "I'm sorry. I love you, but like a brother. I'm so sorry I hurt you. And I'm sorry I just don't feel the same way, but you're a great guy. You'll find someone, I know it. In fact, I know an awesome lad, Jesse, and I'm sure you two would get on very well," he rambled, awaiting a response. Derek peered over the blanket, revealing his puffy red-tinted brown eyes. It seemed as though Zayn's heart broke through his eyes.

"Well," Derek croaked, "Going on a blind date is on my bucket list." Zayn and I both sighed and smiled in relief as Derek let the blanket fall to reveal his sad smile.

"GROUP HUG!" I shouted, squeezing all three of our bodies together. The boys laughed and I smiled.

"Well I'd love to meet this so-called Michelle," Derek said as we broke apart, "But I should probably get freshened up," he chuckled. Zayn and I smiled back.

"Sounds like a plan," Zayn agreed, "See you soon!" He hugged us once again before walking out and across the street. Once I knew he was out of ear-shot, I turned to Derek.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked, needing reassurance. He flashed me a sad smile, wiping away the tears.

"Yeah," he sniffled. "I mean it still hurts, but I'll be okay. And besides, I'm going on a blind date with a guy named Jesse!" he exclaimed like a girl, making me laugh. My brother was adorable. "But yes, I'm happy for Zayn and Michelle. She's a lucky girl." I nodded, proud of him. I remembered what he was like when he had come back from summer camp four years ago... I was overjoyed that he wasn't like that now. "Well, I'm going to go shower. I suggest you do the same," he taunted, gesturing to my wrinkled dress, disheveled braid, and smeared cosmetics. I rolled my eyes, but headed over to my bathroom, taking my time with the shower. Now that I knew Derek was stronger than I had thought, I could relax. Everyone went through heartbreak, even unbreakable little me...

Okay, I get it, no more avoiding the subject. Well, his name was Justin... Hottest piece of shit in the entire school, and two years older than me. That was the problem. He had any girl he wanted in the palm of his hand, including me. He knew how to act with girls. And how to break up with them. I mean he didn't rape me or cheat on me; those things are just fucking unacceptable. All he did was break my heart. Just took my naïve little eighth grade hope, built it up, and laughed with his friends as he knocked it down like a block tower. He made me feel special, feel safe when I needed someone. He gave me the privilege of feeling loved, then revoked it, harshly ripping it away like taking a child's blanky. It hurt like hell at first, and with my dad I wasn't sure how much I could take. But what doesn't kill you makes you fucking stronger. So I sucked it up and faced life, refusing to stop loving myself. And you know what I did? I became what killed me. I took the upper hand in my relationships, became the desirable heart breaker that every guy wanted to date. And though it was fun while it lasted, becoming that monster might be one of my three biggest regrets, the others being not letting my mom know how much she meant to me before she left and letting my dad do those things to Derek and me.

I realized the tears sliding down my cheeks, mixing with the water streaming out of the showerhead. I wasn't sobbing, just clenching my jaw very tightly and letting a few tears escape. I stopped and finished up my shower. No use crying over the past, especially when the present was so abnormally perfect.



*Haley's P.O.V.*

I sat next to Niall on our loveseat with my legs in his lap, playing with his gorgeous blonde locks and fondly recalling memories of the previous night. We had ended up watching Titanic, so obviously I was blubbering like a little baby into his shoulder. Wasn't the first time you cried in front of him. I shook off the thought, deciding I'd rather remember falling asleep in his arms to one of my favorite movies than crying over my ex in front of him. By the time I had woken up, Zayn already had his new girlfriend, Michelle over. She was really nice, and definitely one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. Derek had been feeling better, so he came over and met her, but then he went back home, said he had to clean or something. Liam was out with Sydney, and Harry and Dani were up in Harry's room doing God knows what. So that left Niall and I cuddling on the loveseat, and Louis, smiling as he sat on the couch alone, staring at stupid show that was flashing on the TV.

"You know," Louis stated perkily while Niall kissed my nose, making me giggle and crinkle my nose up. He chuckled as Louis went on. "I really need a girlfriend." I turned to him and giggled.

"Match.com?" I suggested teasingly. He jokingly contemplated that option, making me laugh. All of sudden I felt lips tickling my ear, making crack up at Niall's kiss.

"Get a room!" Lou projected. I giggled as Niall once again lifted me into my arms.

"If you insist," he replied, carrying me up to his room. He literally swept me off of my feet, and I absolutely loved that concept. I leaned my head into the curve of his neck and smiled as we left Louis alone on the couch, fake crying as we entered Niall's room. He plopped me down on my back his soft bed and pecked my lips tenderly before lying next to me and wrapping his arm around me. "So now that I have you alone, what do you want to do?" he asked, a smile playing across my lips. They longed for just one more kiss, and I knew that was what I really wanted to do, but instead I answered:

"Whatever you want to do." He smiled from beside me, raising one eyebrow. God dammit, am I the only one who can't do that? I wondered indignantly. But then his reason for the eyebrow raise registered in my mind. "Well, besides murder me," I added jokingly.

"Now why on earth would I even dream of doing that?" he questioned incredulously. I smiled and shrugged.

"I dunno, I don't know what you dream about," I responded. He smiled mischievously and rolled over, his body hovering slightly above mine as he kissed me passionately, quelling my craving.

"That," he answered, pulling away. I smiled up into his amazing blue eyes.

"What a cowinkydink," I said breathlessly, "We dream about the same things." He smiled and delicately placed a perfect kiss on my lips. It didn't last long enough though. None of his kisses ever seemed to last long enough. But that was probably because I would kiss him forever if that was possible. His lips, his lips, I could kiss them all day if he'd let me. I smiled as he plopped back down next to me. I had always thought that song was cheesy, but in this certain situation it expressed my feelings quite accurately. I wrapped my arms around his perfectly sculpted torso and held him tight, smiling like an idiot and never wanting to let go. "Want to know something?" I asked. He looked down at me, seeming slightly amused. "I love you. So much. I don't just love you, I need you," I gushed, nuzzling my head into his chest. He chuckled, making my head bounce as his chest rose and fell.

"Life is so much better with you," he said, my heart warming as he kissed the top of my head. "I don't want to live without you." I smiled and shifted my body so my lips could reach his once again. As I pulled away, I spotted a colorful magazine on his bedside table. The advertisement on the back caught my eye, and I reached across his amazing body to grab it.

"104th ANNUAL FIVE DAY CARNIVAL! 11th of JUNE- 15th of JUNE!" I squealed at the caption and the pictures of fireworks, rollercoasters, cotton candy, and ferris wheels. I was terrified of rollercoasters, but I absolutely adored all the spinny rides at carnivals! Not to mention the cotton candy, funnel cake, lemonade... Just all the delicious crap food in general.

"Niall! What's the date?" I asked urgently. He had to think for a moment before answering. I smiled. His thinking face was so cute.

"Thirteenth of June," he informed me. I screamed excitedly and jumped up and down on his bed. He just looked at me in confusion, so I tossed the magazine to him and jumped down into his lap.

"Can we go tomorrow? Please? My town always has a fair at the end of the school year, and I'm missing it this year. Derek's missing his senior year town fair! Pretty please with sugar on top?" I begged like a five year old as his amused blue eyes flickered across the page. I gave him the best puppy dog eyes I could, which just made him chuckle. Oh right, my puppy dog face sucks, I remembered.

"Well, I'd have to talk to the boys about it," he started. I grabbed both of his hands in mine and put my face just inches away from his, silently pleading with my desperate gaze. He grinned a bit. "But I'm sure they'll be up for it," he ended, caving in. I screamed even louder than the first time and resumed my bouncing. Louis, Harry, and Dani all came bursting through the door.

"What's wrong? Are you ok? What happened? Why are you screaming bloody murder?" Harry interrogated. His hair was a bit disheveled, as was Dani's but at least their clothes were on. So I continued squealing as I rolled up the magazine and chucked it at his head. Seeing as how my aim is horrible, it ended up hitting Lou smack in the face.

"Whoops! Sorry Lou!" I apologized energetically, giggling into my hands. The three of them examined the advertisement and Dani's face lit up like a light bulb.

"CARNIVAL!" she exclaimed, running up to Niall's bed and jumping with me as we happy danced together. Niall rolled off the bed ninja style, not wanting to be trampled by two overjoyed sixteen year old girls.

"Oh yeah," Niall said to Harry and Louis, standing up and straightening out his tank top. I usually thought it was stupid when guys wore tank tops, but Niall was just so god damn sexy that it was okay. It was beyond okay. "Apparently we're going to the fair tomorrow," he smiled, Louis and Harry smiling as well.

"Yay!" they cheered together. I smiled and fell back onto Niall's bed laughing with joy. Dani fell back too, but then proceeded to get up and walk over to Harry.

"Well, we'll leave you two alone," she winked, taking his hand. I rolled my eyes.

"So you can go make out?" I retorted knowingly. She just winked again and Harry smiled mischievously. Oh god, those two, I thought, shaking my head. Niall leaped, landing next to me, and smiled. And Louis, being Louis, did the same and landed right on top of us. "Oh, hello there, Lou," I laughed from under him.

"Hi!" he exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. Niall and I just kind of looked at him with stupid smiles on our faces. "Oh. I see how it is. Fine, I guess I'll go have a three-way with Harry and Dani then! You know, they're sexier!" he joked, rolling off of us and landing on the floor with a thud before scrambling out the door, making Niall and I both start cracking up.

"You have fun with that!" I called through laughs.

"I will!" his voice came back from across the hall. I smiled and shook my head, relaxing back into Niall's comfortable body.

"So, you like rollercoasters?" Niall asked. My eyes widened slightly.

"Oh god, no," I answered in terror, making him chuckle a bit.

"Yep, you're Harry's cousin," he replied. I smiled and nodded, recalling Harry's fear of rollercoasters. We had always feared them together, and it was nice to know I had someone who would stay off those metal death sentences with me. Dani was a rollercoaster junkie, as was Julia, so Megan and I always paired up and went on the spinny rides together. But she wasn't with me anymore; she was back in New Jersey, back in America, back on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Miles and time zones away with Julez, Jaci, Billy, and everyone else I loved. Well, besides my parents, they were much farther away.

The thought of how far I was from the people who had loved me and whom I had loved for so many years broke my heart. My face crumpled a bit as tears welled behind my eyes. "What's wrong, love?" Niall asked soothingly, wrapping me up in his arms securely. I wasn't sure if I even trusted my voice not to break if I attempted speech. That was something I hated about myself: how weak I was. It seemed like I was always crying. Then there was Dani, with plenty of her own horrible problems, barely ever shedding a tear. And, of course, knowing how vulnerable and weak I was just made me feel worse. I snuggled my face into Niall's neck, not wanting him to see me cry. I made really unattractive faces when I was sobbing.

"I miss my parents," I explained through my sobs. He rubbed my back and cooed comfortingly as I clung desperately to him.

"I know baby, I know," he whispered. His pet name sounded loving, not possessive like when Chase called me baby. My sobs became more controllable as the thought of being Niall's baby slightly blurred out my woes. "But you'll get through it. And you're not alone, you're never alone. I'm here for you, as are all the boys. And I'm sure Dani and Derek are here for you, too," he said. Just listing out the people I had around me made the pain ease. I sniffled and lifted my face from his shoulder, staring into his sad blue eyes with my red, puffy brown ones.

"I know. And thank you, I love you all so much." He smiled sadly and kissed me softly. And he truly kissed it all better, because when his lips were on mine they were all that mattered. But when he pulled away another black fog came over me, making me frown.

"But it's not just that. It's that I'm so weak. Look at Dani! She's so strong! And then here's me, crying all the time. And to make it thirty times worse, I make you sad when I cry! I'm so sorry," I said. He pulled me into another embrace and kissed my cheek before moving his lips to my ear.

"You're not weak; you've been through a lot. It's okay to cry. And don't think that I'm sad when you cry because I mind, I'm just sad that there might not be anything I can do to make it better. Just know that no matter what, I'll always be your shoulder to cry on," he promised. And those words gave me all the strength I needed. I smiled into his neck.

"What would I do without you?" I murmured, my lips grazing his warm, beautifully pale skin.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied, "But I don't want to know." We wrapped our arms around each other and wove our legs through each others' literally tangled up in each other in every way possible. This was the kind of love I had been waiting for all my life, a mutual love where you both needed each other. I finally had it, and I didn't doubt it for a minute.