see me again | michael clifford

10

bold is future

izzy's pov

the boys concert was in two days and they said they were practising all day today. we all went downstairs to have breakfast in the hotel.

Michael came home last night and past out on the bed. he'd had a lot to drink. I was kind of happy. I don't think I could've faced talking to him.

kacey & Calum both seemed extra happy this morning. "why the happy faces?" I asked them.

"no reason." kacey said, then she turned to Calum and they giggled at each other. I narrowed my eyes.

Michael was sitting their with his head on the table. he was hung over. I stroked his arm and he looked up at me and half smiled.

I glanced over at Ashton. he was sitting there, staring at his bowl. he quickly glanced over at me and we looked at each other for a while. I turned away.

"why we all so quiet today?" Calum asks. luke & Michael groan a bit.

"I didn't get much sleep." Ashton sighs. "too busy thinking." he adds, looking at me. I lower my head.

I know what I did was wrong. very wrong. but Ashton's so sweet and kind...I couldn't stop myself.

I...I almost wanted him to kiss me.

the day went by and the boys went out for a quick practise today. I laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. when I heard keys turning in the door, I quickly turned over and pretended I was asleep. The door opened and I heard footsteps round the bed. I felt a hand on my arm and pretended to wake up. I turned around.

the boy sitting on the bed was not Michael.

I was startled by the sight of Ashton. "Ashton? what are you doing here? Michael could come back!!" I said.

"he won't. he's waiting for you at the party."

"party?" I asked.

"yeah, some celebrity party thing." he said. I sighed.

"I don't wanna go to a party."

"well...you don't have to go. I mean, I could just lie...say your ill...and I won't go because I was looking after you..." he said, then smiled. I knew what he was hinting, and I knew it was wrong.

but, I think..I was falling for Ashton Irwin.

"HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR?" he pinned me up against the wall.

"nothing happened." I manage. he hits me.

"YOU LYING BITCH, TELL ME."

"I'm not lying." I tried to stay calm. he hit me again and I whined.

"your in big, big trouble." he says, pulling my body closer to his.

"stop....stop!.....ASHTON, STOP!"

I finally agreed with Ashton's plan and he smirked.

"I'll call Michael." he says. I nod.

"he said he might come to see you so when you hear keys turn get ready to look ill." Ashton says. I laugh a bit

"Now.." he says, coming over to join me on the bed. He kisses me and i kiss him back. he pulls me closer to him as we kiss. he hands move around my body, and up my top.

oh my god. help me. I can't stop him. I don't have the power to tell him to stop. that I don't want to. why? it's like he's controlling me. it's like I'm scared of him. thankfully, some keys turn before he can do anything else. I quickly roll over pretending to be asleep and Ashton sits at the end of the bed.

"is she okay? thanks for watching her." Michael says.

"she's fine, no problem man." Ashton says.

"you can go now, I'll watch her." Michael says.

Ashton sighs a bit. "okay, see you later." and with that he walks out the door.

I feel Michael climb into bed with me, placing him arm around me.

"did I wake you?" he asks as I turn over. I smile and nod.

"ah good, cause you're not a very good fake sleeper." he says. I narrow my eyes.

"huh?"

"oh, and I know about your little fling with Ashton that's happened behind my back." he says firmly.

his grip on waist gets tighter and I shiver.

"Michael, it was an accident...I, I love you." I say.

which I do. I do love him. Ashton is scary...I'm scared of him.

"save it, izzy." Michael frowns. he pulls my body closer to him and somehow lifts my shirt over my head.

"Michael...what are you doing?" I say. he kisses me, but not like he normally does. it was aggressive. he tries to unclip my bra but I stop him.

"MICHAEL! stop, this isn't you!" I shout in this face. he suddenly bursts into tears and I hug him.

"I don't know what's happening to me Izz..." he cries. "you probably did the thing with Ashton because of me..."

"Michael, I love you. I love you and you only." I kissed his forehead.

"I love you too." he weeped, and I kissed him softly. we broke apart and he cried a little bit more. because he had taken him jumper off, it was only now that I noticed the faded scars on his arms.

"Michael..." I say stroking his arm. "are you depressed?" I feel the tears coming down my cheeks."

"sometimes, I feel like I have no one..." he sobs.

"you have me." I say, crying harder now.

"but when I found out what you hand done...I...I tired to slit my wrists." he cried.

this statement he just said broke my heart. I cried out and hugged him right.

"Michael, I love you so much, I will never hurt you again." I say.

he slowly lifts his head up from our embrace. "that's why...I think we should break up." Michael says. I stare at him, the tears falling.

"why?" I cry.

"well izz...I love you, but I don't want to bring you into my self harm and depression. I'd rather hurt myself than others."

the statement he just said killed me inside. I stroked his arm but he pushed my hand away.

"it's for the best." he says. he gets up. I try to pull him back but he's nearly out the door.

"Michael? MICHAEL?!" I scream.

but he's gone.

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