see me again | michael clifford

31

Izzy's POV

the wedding was in 3 days and I wasn't looking forward to it. I don't even know why I agreed to go. I don't even know why Michael invited me.

Alice was having a hen night but thankfully didn't invite me. she didn't invite any of my girls, just a couple of her friends. I only found out today that she was like best mates with Gigi Hadid.

like, what?

the boys had been coming over most days since I met Luke about 3 weeks ago. Beth told me that she fancies him, but then I accidentally let slip that he's Alice's baby's father.

but I can see in Beth's eyes at the way she looks at him that she still fancies him. it's just a question of whether he asks her out.

Ashton and Phoebe have been going out for 3 days and they're very cute. I'm worried for her though. after everything he's done...all the things he did to me...I will never be able to trust him as much as I did before.

let's just hope Phoebe doesn't cheat on him.

I was sitting in my room, reading my copy of Noughts And Crosses by Malorie Blackman. there was a knock at my door and Michael Clifford set foot in my room.

I glanced up at him then back down at my book.

"can I help you?" I scoffed, keeping my eyes on the book.

"I came for you opinion." he began. "I have two suits..." he lifted both suits up to show me. one was white and one was black. basically.

"...which one should I wear?" he asked. I shrugged.

"whatever one you want." I said.

"oh, c'mon on izzy don't give me that. which one?" he asked again, clearly getting impatient. I sighed and studied them both.

"black one." I huffed, returning to my book.

"you know, you could at least try be nice to me izzy, and Alice." Michael scoffed. I slammed by book shut and got up and pinned him against the wall, my anger was about to burst out of me.

"I AM TRYING MICHAEL! IM TRYING HARDER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE, DONT YOU KNOW THAT IT KILLS ME EVERYDAY TO SEE YOU WITH HER? DONT YOU KNOW THAT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR THE PAST MONTHS IVE BEEN CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP BECAUSE I WISH I HADNT HAVE MESSED EVERYTHING UP-" people started to crowd around us inside the room. "-SO DONT TELL ME TO TRY BECAUSE IM SICK OF TRYING! WHATS THE POINT OF EVEN TRYING ANYMORE?" I broke down into tears and ran out of the room, pushing past everyone. I sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I leaned against my sink, panting and sobbing. I looked at myself in the mirror for a while.

I was so ugly.

my face was chubby and my nose stuck out. my eyes were hooded and my teeth are wonky. what do any boys see in me?

I looked at my body and sobbed harder. I'd lost so much weight, I knew I could be going anorexic. but I don't want to eat...then I'll be really fat.

I grabbed the nearest thing I could and looked down at my arm. this was the only way I could stop the pain. this is the only thing that could make me feel better. this was the only thing that makes my worries go away for a while. this was the only thing I could do now.

unless...

HEY GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE BUT WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE TO THE WEDDING NOW OH MY GOD AND I HAD A GREAR BIRTHDAY THANKS FOR THE 400 THAT WAS MY BEST PRESENT HAHA

anyway remember to

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love you lots!! xx