A/N I can't type a whole chapter on my kindle so I though I would give you dumb fanfic moments! And I'm still Hella pissed about my laptop freaking breaking.
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11. Growling
Are you a motherfucking dog......bitch? Like I understand it sounds "SEXY" but Jesus. Unless you're a werewolf or are part dog I don't want to hear shit about no motherfucking growling.
12. Eye and Lust.
I can't. So what you're telling me. Is that you're fucking eyes turned black and had 'lust' written across it? Fuck no your not. Why don't you say he had "a lustful look in his eye" not "his dumb ass eyes darkened with lust." No. Just no.
13. Chocolate Whisps aka Harry Styles' motherfudging hair
What the fuck is a whisp! Someone please tell me. And the "curly haired boy" has a fucking name! It's Harry MOTHERFUCKING Styles. Please and thank you.
P.S if you want to call him the "curly haired boy or lad" That's perfectly fine as long as you don't over use it
14. Irish Man
We all know Niall is Irish. It does need to be exploited on every damn sentence. Like "Yo what up Leprechaun." Or the typical "How's my Irish Lad doing?". *Rubs temples in a frustrated manner* SHUT THE FUCK UP! Sometimes I just wanna say
"Nah Bitch, he's Japanese."
15. Cup of Coffee
If this cunt of a plot comes into my vision again I'm going to explode! This is literally what happens.
Day1: Girl magically bumps into Harry(It's always Harry). He spills his coffee on her shirt and practically drags her to his apartment to clean up and hang out.
Day2: Harry asks her on a date. Then asks her to be his girlfriend and they cuddle in bed and go to sleep.
Day3: They fuck and he proposes
Day4: Harry cheats and she gets hella pressed then forgives him.*pause* You dumb bitch! He fucking sticks his penis in some random homewreckers vagina and you forgive him?! Dumbass.
Day5: They have the wedding. Go on HoneyMoon. Have some more sex then she's gets preggers and they live happily ever after.
That is always how it goes. Never fails.
16. Fat, ugly, and none of the above
Tell me why, an author picks Barbara Palvin as the mc then has her get picked on and bullied? She's a fucking model in real life! I just can't with this ignorance. If you want a mc to get bullied and picked on use Ursula or some villain.
17. Morning nasty ass breath
If you wouldn't kiss your mother with morning breath then don't do it to you significant other. Like who just wakes up, rolls over, and songs their boyfriend in the morning. No one! First off, you've been sleeping, with your mouth closed all night and you probably didn't brush your motherfucking teeth before you climbed you're ass in that bed. Don't you dare fucking lie to me.
18. Fairy tale ending
I don't much to say about this. Except......these are a load of bullshit. I have only read one maybe two fanfics with a not so happy ending. All the rest and with "And they rode off on their unicorns and into the rainbow. Fuck that happy shit.
19. What happened to the bathroom and Periods.
Who said you could block your urinary track? Mother nature didn't. One Direction believe it or not can't do it. They are also not some infinite tampon either. So take out your imaginary one and let it go.
20. Carrots
This is what I say to carrots. FLUSH THEM DOWN THE DAMN TOILET! I can tell you for a fact Louis the Tommo Tomlinson is fucking sick of motherfuckin carrots. It's always carrot this carrot that in fanfics. Did you not hear him after the carrots?! He likes women who have a taste in a kick ass Lamborghini's!
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That's enough of my bitching......... for now. I feel more relaxed now. I am too motherfuckin lazy to go back through and read and re-read this for mistakes. I don't have spell check so bare with me. Bye my fierce ass Bitches
