Gone

Chapter 3.

Zayn's hands were rushed among my body like we didn't have any time left in the world.

I heard his old bed creak as I leaned forward on top of him, to trail kisses down his neck.

My lips slowly ran down to his smooth collarbone back up to the scruff of his jaw line. It felt like sand paper on my lips.

My mouth reconnected with his and I could feel his sigh of relief, as if the couple seconds my lips lingered downward were too long. His hands were everywhere but no where in particular at once. The uncertainty in his touch bugged me. I grabbed both his hands and interlaced them with mine, not breaking the kiss. Zayn flinched from the intimate gesture and unlaced his hands to put them up my shirt.

Despite the hot summer day outside and how fast things were heating up between us, Zayn's room suddenly got cold to me.

I got goosebumps as soon as Zayn's rough hands too easily got my bra unclasped.

But it wasn't the good goosebumps from euphoria. It was the ones that came with an eerie realization.

I realized too many things in that moment.

I was being reckless. Too reckless.

I wouldn't be a virgin anymore if I kept this going.

And Zayn lied. This is all this was to him.

I climbed off him and he got to his feet too.

"What the fuck are you doing? You wanted this just as much as I did." He snapped. And I felt something in me sink at the harshness in his tone.

"I.. I thought I did. But I can't." I said softly as I started fidgeting with my hands.

"Why did you want to come here if you realized you didn't want to do this?" His words hadn't softened and I couldn't help but notice the strain on the front of his jeans. I felt ashamed for doing that to him. Leading him on in the worst way for a guy.

"I don't kn-"

"Of course. I should have knew. You know most girls let me fuck the first week? Fun fact: some the first night. But here I am messing around with you for almost 3 months and nothing! Is that why you really broke up with me? Because you knew you couldn't give me what I want?" He said through clenched teeth. And that was it for me. I felt the heat rise in me.

"I broke up with you because this was all we did," I motioned to the bed we were just in. "You're fucking emotionally handicap. We never talked. Went on dates. Nothing. We never did anything normal fucking couples do because you don't know how to be in a relationship." I was sure my cheeks were flushed from the anger building and I couldn't stop my new found foul mouth.

"We went on dates." He said a little calmer.

"Yeah with the whole fucking group. That's not considered a date. You know that saying 'Two is company. Three's a crowd.' Well what the fuck makes 8? A pow wow? Because it sure as hell wasn't a date."

Zayn remained quiet but I could see him making tight fists to his sides. It only amped me to keep going.

"See. This is what I'm talking about. No communication. I bet you don't know shit about me which is sad since we've been 'messing around for 3 months.'"

He met my eyes then and I could see the anger and disbelief that I was going there with him. I could tell no girl has ever done this to him before. And I was actually glad to be the first.

"Fine. You're right. All I knew is you were hot and you were joining and l wouldn't have to be alone anymore." I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Well you blew that when you decided not to put any effort into whatever the hell we were." I struggled to say 'were'. I wanted so badly to say 'are'. I wanted Zayn and I to work. To be like Zoey and Kameron, giggling like school kids everytime we're near each other. Just like Zayn, I liked the idea of not being alone anymore. But I didn't want to give up being alone for some mediocre fling that revolved around sex.

"You're right again. I should have put in more effort. More effort to get into Mariah's pants after I broke her up with Zak." I slapped Zayn with so much force, it nearly knocked me over. I couldn't believe he was the one who told Zak.

I ran seconds after I slapped him, before I gave him the chance to retaliate. I didn't know if Zayn believed in not hitting girls but looking in his crazy eyes, I knew I couldn't chance it. Zayn had a reputation of being ruthless. I heard rumors about what he did to people at his old school. I wasn't sure if they were anything more than just rumors but it did make everyone in our school be sure not to mess with him.

When I was a good half mile down the road, I realized I lived about 15 minutes away and there was no way I would be able to make it to my house before nightfall on foot. I scimmed through my brain as I held out my phone. My mom was an interior designer and had been out of town all week for her business. My dad was half way across the country and I knew it wouldn't have mattered if he were 5 miles away; when my mom was done with him, he was done with me. I thought about calling Mariah, Zoey or Adrianna but I couldn't bring myself to face them after they saw me leave with Zayn and after what Zayn just told me. I had lots of other family members close by but none I felt comfortable enough calling and asking for help. I had too much pride when it came to stuff like that.

And then my mind wondered to the last option and the craziest one. Liam.

He didn't give me his number but I could look for it on my phone. I opened up the Facebook app on my phone and typed Liam in the search box. A couple Liam's with a few mutual friends popped up but none were him. With him just moving here and me not knowing his last name I was screwed. The whole idea was idiotic of calling him anyway.

I could feel my feet go slightly numb as I kept walking down the road.

I was in the middle of thoughts of how dumb I was for believing Zayn when I heard a car slowing down next to me. Something in me hoped it was Zayn coming to apologize but it wasn't.

It was Liam.

He opened the passenger door of his silver Range Rover, "Get in."

I wasn't too keen on taking orders especially from someone I barely knew. And with his strange behavior this morning, I wasn't sure if I should chance just climbing into his car. But somehow I loved how he told me like walking wasn't an option. As if he knew I was just searching for him. My new found confidence and dangerous edge prompted me to comply.

I climbed in and locked eyes with him. Even with his eyes being a deep shade of brown, they were just as serene as if they were a beautiful blue.

"How did you know I was here.. That I needed a ride?"

He broke our eye contact and put the car back in drive.

"I didn't. I was just heading to the store to go grocery shopping and I saw you. Where were you walking from?" I should be annoyed with his nosiness but I wasn't. I was still grateful for his rescue and glad I didn't find his number. I would defianltly be labeled as crazy stalker chick in his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about," I noticed we passed the turn for our street. "Where are we going?" The panic was clear in my voice.

"Calm down, I still plan on going to the grocery store. My mum has been bugging me all day to." I wanted to call him out on being such a mama's boy but then again that was the same reason we didn't get off to a great start in the first place. Him obeying his mom and ignoring me.

"So you're taking me with you?"

He looked to me and smiled without showing teeth, "Yes. You know the stores around here better than me so you would be very helpful. I could still drop you off if you wanted me to?"

We were already pulling into the parking lot of a little family owned grocery store, "It's a little too late to be asking me that now don't you think?" I smiled for the first time in hours.

But then the smile was wiped from my face as I seen parked in front the four street bikes I knew all too well.