Emotions

Behind the blue eyes

~Dan~
I cradled Phil's broken body in my arms. If I would of known. I would of helped him instead of him wasting his life on me.

I stood up And my father was still in shook. "You can go to work father. We will be ok." I said and he shook his head no.

"Dan I'm not going anywhere, you need me, Phil needs you, I need both of you guys. Cause without the other, one is broken." He said walking over to us.

Father helped me get to bed and he carried Phil. (Remember they were on the floor) I laid down and he laid Phil down and Phil wrapped an weak arm around me.

"I'm broken, I was never fixed" he said and i stroked his cheek like he did for me.

"You're not broken.... In my opinion everyone is broken, some are just broken more than others" I said and Evan sat at the end of the bed and looked at both of us.

"I'm going to help you Phil, I'm not letting darkness eat you. I'm not letting darkness do the same thing to you, like it did to me" I said and kissed his forehead.

~Phil~
As I laid there, Dan was telling me im worth it everyone is a little broken, some more than others.

I cried in his arms as the dullness of my eyes showed. I stood up and ran to the bathroom. The brown was so dark. I signed........... I took out my blue contacts.

I rubbed my face and the memory of why this happened played in my head

~flashback age 15~
"PHIL HONEY COME HERE" my mother yelled and I ran down the hall and slid on my socks across the floor.

"Yes?" I said hitting the counter so I would stop

"We are moving.... We are leaving in two days..... Go pack your things." My mother said and I lost my smile.

"W-what? Why?" I said as I thought about all my friends I'll be leaving behind, my boyfriend Erik, my life.

I ran to my room crying and called Erik.
"Hello?" Erik said and I crying now
"I'm moving" I said and he was silent before laughing
"I know Angela" he said "I mean Phil"
"WHAT!" I yelled and he went silent "you mother fucker  you cheated on me" I was sobbing and hung up.

-age 16-
After we moved I wanted to forget everyone. My eyes were such a dark brown they eventually turned black.

I tried everything to be happy. I went to parties, I got drunk, I made friends, I had a temporary boyfriend.
Nothing worked.

-age 17-

Then one day I saw the new kid. My emotions changed to a little brown. Enough to cover with contacts.

I went to the store after school and bought blue, yellow, pink, purple, green, red, and brown contacts to hid.

The next day I saw the new kid getting beat and I ran to him. My contacts were yellow.

I helped him and took him home to care for him, I wanted to help him more cause no one was there for me, I was alone.

I had no one. I'm not going to fail him like everyone failed me. I will help him find his emotions!
~end flashback~

I looked at the contacts in my hands and signed. I have been hiding, I have been lying, I have been nothing but a failure!