I came from home room one of the guys was making fun of me because I told my friend that I ran two miles and he said it obviously didn't do anything. I came to gym and saw Kai but he acted like yesterday never happened. He doesn't care about me. I want cry I feel like a useless piece of shit. I feel like everything Damian called me was true I am fat and ugly and I take that to heart because it's the only thing I have to do so with. Nobody except family and close friends tells me I'm pretty so why should I believe them they are obligated to tell me that. I don't know what else to think nobody tells me differently.
Later in gym class I was so mad that I cussed at Kai. What happened was I was walking towards my spot where I was throwing to my partner and he was backing up to do a fancy kick I thought he was backed up all the way so I continued walking but he wasn't so he backed right in to me and I was so mad I just yelled "What the hell!" the he mumbled sorry and continued with the kick.
Before this happened we were playing dodgeball and it was like I was fucking invisible nobody even looked at me even my friends didn't come over and ask if I was ok. Only one person in the entire gym class asked if I was ok.
And the teacher don't even get me started on her Ms.Lee pissed me off so much. I asked to go to the locker rooms so I could put my necklace away and I also needed a minute because I was pissed still. I ended up staying in their for like ten minutes and asking my friend Madison to meet me outside the gym. So I went back out and I grabbed the quiz we were taking and Ms.Lee was like oh Aria this isn't your normal behavior and of course she saw me on my phone and she was like I bet you were doing something you weren't supposed to be doing. All she had to was ask what's wrong and I probably would have told her(maybe not)
Ok so now that I'm thinking about it later I am the ultimate goodie goodie. I do bad things of course. But after I do them I have the overwhelming need to apologize. It is kind of sad. So anyway I went to apologize to Ms.Lee because I was being rude. Yay me!
So anyway back to Kai he looked kinda like a fuckboy today with black skinny jeans, an Aeropostale tee shirt and the way his hair was but he was still hot.
I feel like I'm loosing the overwhelming need to hug and make googly eyes at him all the time so that's good. And I think/ hope that there is something going on between Kai and Levi.
They would be so cute together.
It's Monday and I actually don't totally despise Monday's like everyone says you are supposed to. I like them because I can only spend so much time with my family and school is the best place in the world.
So today is a green day that means Spanish with just Kai no Levi sadly.
In Spanish we talked about novias and novios which is girlfriends and boyfriends he asked if anyone had a girlfriend nobody said anything then he asked if anyone had a boyfriend and someone shouted out Kai does. I laughed so hard internally. I could tell by the way that they said it that they were joking but the way Kai's face turned fire engine red was priceless and noticeable. Anyone else would else would have thought that he was embarrassed to be put with a guy but I had different theories.
Later I saw them in the hallway laughing at each other Kai was leaning against the locker and Levi had his arm above Kai's head the way that they do in movies but it was so much cuter in real life. Kai just ducked his head and smiled he so likes him and I am so going to get caught staring at them. Levi just took his arm off the locker and messed up his hair and started walking my way, towards class probably. Oh god he is walking right towards me. He is right in front of me oh shit and he is talking.
"....... Ummm Aria," he snapped his fingers, "Aria."
"Oh Hi," I mumble.
" Were you just staring at Kai? You looked like you were either trying to light Kai on fire or undress him with your eyes."
He's pretending that yesterday didn't happen so I'm going to too.
" Oh no not at all I just spaced out thinking it wasn't about him either I didn't know you guys were there till you came over. Sorry for staring though."
"It's alright it is just kinda weird, unless you have a crush on one us then I would love to know which one and why."
" No of course not. I don't like either of you. I mean you are both cute but I would never like either of you. Not that you aren't likable..." Oh great I'm doing my run on sentence mumbling," Oh that's not what I meant. I didn't mean to babble I meant to say no. But in a nice way. I'm shutting up."
He looks at me funny.
"Oh god you probably think I'm a crazy person now. Great. Just great."
"No not crazy just different."
Thank god he finally said something, "Good different or crazy different"
"Good different"
" I should probably go to class now but it was nice talking to you. God that made it sound like we're friends that haven't seen each other in 5 years. We aren't even friends. Oh my god I started babbling again. Bye," I ran down the hallway towards lunch as fast as I could. And I didn't look back.
Well that was fun he probably thinks I'm psychotic now.
