Because Of You

Chapter 13

John POV 

I was at the doctors office, ready to have my first sonogram. I had woken up throwing up, all morning I had morning sickness, I didn't get to eat breakfast. What was the point of eating, I was probably going to throw it up anyways. I had my mom and Sherlock next to me the whole time.

The receptionist had called my name, I was tense and nervous. What if I was pregnant? What will I do if I am? Will I keep it? Maybe I shouldn't, I'm too young, my mom isn't going to care for it , I wasn't going to involve Sherlock in this and ruin his future.

We entered the room, the lady had a smile on her face.

"Hello, I'm doctor Anne Franklin, and one of you must be John Watson", she looked at me and Sherlock and I spoke up.

"That would be ma'am", I rose my hand, like when the teacher calls out your name in roll call.

"Alright great, will you do me a favor and sit down please", she pointed at the bed next to the monitor.

"Oh and do please lift your shirt slightly", I looked back at my mom and Sherlock and they gave me an apologizing look.

I sat down on the bed, Dr. Franklin put some very cold gel on my stomach, she got out a wand, I felt a hand slowly reach mine, I didn't see whose hand, but I squeezed it hard, I kept my eyes to the monitor screen on the wand touched my stomach.

"Congratulations, you are pregnant!'', she yelled in excitement.

I felt numb and hopeless, my legs felt numb, I couldn't see anything. I groaned and I let my head fall back, I covered my face with my hands. I was frustrated I didn't want any of this.

The doctor looked concerned, "I'm guessing you don't want it", she frowned.

I nodded but my mom spoke first, "We'll think about it", she stroked my hair.

"Alright, I'll be right outside if you need me , oh and if you don't want it I have some pills for you", she gave us a fake smile and left quickly.

"I don't know if I should keep it", I let my head fall down.

"John I know that it's not our decision but don't keep it. The child will only remind you of the pain you felt when he gave you this. Please John don't", Sherlock pleaded sitting next to me in the bed. He gripped my hand tight enough to stop the blood flowing, but that just meant he cared.

"Sherlock is right sweetheart, it wouldn't be a great idea to keep it, John do think about it", she kissed my forehead and left me and Sherlock alone.

I brought my knees to my head, "Sherlock what am I going to do, both of you are right, but I don't want to kill my child even if its Sebastian, even if it was rape. I just cant kill a baby, I just cant", I started crying, sobbing every word out I was rocking back and forth. Whimpering like a small child, Sherlock held me rubbing circles on my back.

"How could you deal with it Sherlock, every day, how?", I sobbed. He frowned in confusion.
"Deal with what?", he whispered.

"The rapes from Alex, just how"

"Oh! alright, John let me tell you something. I never found a solution for my problem the only way I dealt with it was by, being alone. You in the other hand have it easier than I did you have everyone on your side, no one is against you and you should be grateful", he playfully hit my arm which made me smile.

"What should I do, Sherlock really?", I ruffled my hair.

"I think that's up to you, but if you chose to keep it I'll be there for you and raise that child with you", he looked down at my stomach and started rubbing it.

"Are you serious? Sherlock I don't want to ruin your future"

He shook his head, "You are my future", he attacked my lips passionately. His lips were bitter sweet I loved them I could kiss him all day if I could. He brushed his fingers through my hair, I grabbed his neck and pulled him in deepening the kiss.

There was a soft knock at the door, I saw my dad's head peek in but quickly pull out as he saw is in our position. I was shocked to see my dad here, so shocked I didn't care what he just saw.

"Dad?", I jumped out of the small bed leaving Sherlock behind.

"Sorry, I keep doing that", he said shyly waiting outside with the rest.

"Its alright", I gave him a quick smile. There was silence that lasted seconds.

"So you are pregnant", his eyes grew of happiness.

"Yeah, I am", I gave him a confident smile.

"Are you going to keep the child? If you are I'm totally okay with it, alright, it's your decision", he walked closer.

"I don't know yet, I have to think about it. Are you sure that you're okay with it?", I knew deep inside of him he wasn't and I needed to know. He will always be disappointed at me, since he knew I could conceive.

"John, you always thought I didn't love you because you could conceive. Yes, when they told me you could conceive I was taken back, all the dangers you could go through. That's why we were going to tell you when you would get older, and no, I'm not completely okay with you being gay. But when I see you with that boy I see a smile no one else could bring out, but him", he turned around to wipe a tear off.

I was speechless, my dad was never a emotional man or a sympathetic one.

"If I keep this child, will you think less of me?", I asked

"Of course not John, like they said its your choice", he pulled me into a hug. Last time we hugged was because of his birthday months ago. He has never hugged me like this before, like if he meant it. His shirt was starting to get by my tears. He hears me sob and hugged me tighter.

"I'll keep it even if it means the death of me", I whispered in his ear. He sighed deeply not like when he meet Sherlock. This was a sad sighed, I knew keeping this baby will be the death of me, literally.

"John, you okay", Sherlock saw my tears which I quickly shook off.

"Yeah I'm alright", I smiled, "Sherlock?", I looked at him again with a serious face, which concerned him.

"What's wrong, John?", he walked towards me thinking my dad was doing me harm so he pulled me away from him.

"No, Sherlock its not him. Its just I want to keep it, I'm keeping the child", I smiled in disbelief. His smile rose up with excitement, he pulled me in for a kiss which made my dad slightly uncomfortable.

"Wonderful, I'm glad", he pecked my lips once more.

"You sure Sherlock, I don't want you to be involve", I buried my face in his chest.

"Mr. Watson, could you please let us have a minute", he pulled my face out of his chest and lifted my head up fort our eyes to meet. My dad left quickly feeling the tension between us.

"John, I thought I made it very clear to you that I would help you through everything. I know its not my child, but I will raised it to be my own", he smiled truthfully and kissed my forehead.

"I love you", I whispered; I smiled realizing that- that was the first time I said 'I love you' t him.

Sherlock's eyes grew with joy and whispered back, "I love you always".