Made in Romania

I Love You

It's been two weeks since I last talked to Lucas. I don't now how to tell him. How can I possibly destroy his heart like that! I can't do it. It's breaks me inside to have to do this to him. When I got the news three weeks ago I was devastated, but I have slowly learned to accept it, but I am still processing everything.

I drive over to his apartment, and knock on the door. I am trying to hold back my tears. The door swings open and out comes a very confused looking Lucas. I look up at him and he sees me crying. He hugs me tightly.

"What's wrong babe." He asks, I cry harder. "Melody, what happened?" He asks worried.
"Just hug me please." I beg. I need to let out all of my emotions, everything that I've held back I need to let go. I can't do this alone.

"Lucas something happened" I say, finally having the power to look at him in the eye.

"What happened babe? What's wrong? Don't cry princess please." He pleads.

"You know how I haven't talked to you for weeks?" I say, my voice hoarse.

"Yes, you've been ignoring my text messages and my calls" he says. "I have new gone to your house but you aren't ever there, or available." He says.

"Lucas, I've been diagnosed with cancer" I say crying. Lucas hugs me.

"No, you can't, you couldn't possibly have cancer" he cries. Tears now streaming down both of our faces. "How? When? How bad is it?"

"The doctors say it's stage two, and it's moving fast" I say and I cry harder.

"Damn it! No! Why you!" He cries, holding me tightly.

"I've been going to chemotherapy for the past few weeks, the doctors say that there isn't a very high chance of survival for me, at most I have two months."

"Two months!? Only two!? Why!! God you can't do this to me. If you really exist you can't make me suffer like this, not her!" He's on his knees staring at the ceiling.

"Lucas I just want you to know that I love you, no matter what, and if I die, which will most likely happen, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul" I say. We spend what feels like hours together, crying, him telling me I'm going to be okay, trying to console me and we fall asleep.

***********
It has been a month and seventeen days, if I don't miscalculate I have thirteen more days to live. Lucas has been the most attentive, amazing, most perfect boyfriend ever. He hasn't left my side. I know he is devastated and he offer cries when he's alone or thinks I'm not watching him. We spend most of the time together. We have to enjoy the little time I have left.

My energy has decreased and I have become more weak, so I get tired easier. Chemotherapy I feel like hasn't helped in much, I feel tired most of the time and I have lost weight, I have developed bags under my eyes, and my skin bruises easily. I guess this is the effect cancer has on you. It kills you little by little, piece by piece, until there is nothing left for it to kill because everything is gone.

**********
We are watching a movie, it's very adorable. Lucas and I are cuddled up on the couch and I start to feel dizzy.
"Babe, can you go get me a water bottle please." I ask and he gets up. He leaves to the kitchen grabbing a water bottle for me.

I rest my head on the sofa pillow and my eyelids start to get heavy. I can feel the darkness pulling me in. My eyelids close slowly, just before Lucas gets to me I say in a whisper more than anything

"I love you."

That thing people say about your life flashing before your eyes, it's true. It's peaceful and everything is tranquil. Beauty at its most graceful state of being, it's completely breathtaking, and it took my last breath.

And just like that, I was gone.