Fragile Bird | ✓

|| Prologue ||

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Fight or flight: The two responses a brain considers when in danger or any other kind of trouble. I found it's not only when we're in physical danger, but in mental distress as well. We have to ask ourselves if we are strong enough to withstand or are we so weak we must let go? Fight or flight?

Flight.

I chose flight.

So as I stood in front of the security checkpoint, I tried to tell myself what I was doing wasn't wrong because to pick flight over fight was just as difficult as the former, but I knew it wasn't. It wasn't hard to leave; seeing them teary-eyed and mopey, brought me so much regret but I knew if I didn't leave then, I never would.  I was trying to be as unapologetic as everyone else would be during their own quarter-life crisis.

All my belongings that I wasn't leaving here were already on the other side of the country. All that was left was me. It was all I could do not to run to the boarding gate. But firstI had to say goodbye. They were looking at me, lined up side by side; my little sister, Sadie; my mom and my step-dad, Rick; my dad's girlfriend, Tammy; and my best friend, Ivy.

I set my bags down and stepped up to my little sister. "Think you'll miss me?" I asked.

"Well, I finally have my own room now, so probably not," Sadie shrugged. She couldn't even look  me in the eyes. It hurt to leave her behind; what would I do without my baby sister.

I squeezed her in what I hoped was a painful hug. I blamed the reality of her being four years younger and more than a head taller than me on the fact that she had a different dad. She was lighter in skin, hair, and eyes, so it wasn't that unbelievable.

Whispering, "Bitch," before stepping back and saying louder, "Don't lie. You love me." I managed a smug smile, enveloping her in one last hug knowing I'd miss her. "You love me," I repeated, hoping she understood what I was really saying.

"You'll call to tell me how your first day of high school goes?" I asked her with a hopeful smile.

"It's just high school, V. Not as big a change as leaving." 

"Sadie," I pleaded. "Just promise to call me once in a while."

"Yeah, okay." She rolled her eyes at me, trying to mask how upset she was over my leaving.

I held out my pinky for her. She looked down at it before giving me the ultimate eye roll but she gave me her little finger nonetheless.

I grinned at her happily. We fought like any sisters would and we weren't the poster sisters for a perfect family, but leaving her in California was going to hurt both of us more than I anticipated it to. "I love you."

"Yeah," she pouted grumpily, "I love you."

Looking at my mom, she began to cry for the umpteenth time that last morning. She threw her arms around me, she let out another wail. "V! I don't know why you're leaving me to go all the way to Rhode Island." I was filled with irritation that was typically attributed to my mother.

"Mom," I hugged her, "we talked about this. I have to go. Please." I'm not sure what I was begging for. Forgiveness? For her to not be difficult? It was not like I actually felt bad about leaving her. She should have been apologizing to me. I was leaving because of her. Granted, she wasn't the only one. "I need this and you know that." I squeezed her shoulder before letting her go.

Rick was next.

He helped raise me, so he was a father figure in my life but he wasn't my father. I was his first kid, but not by blood and we weren't the closest but he tried. He loved me and would do almost anything for me, but his love was an obligation. I was a commitment that came with loving my mother. It's like when you are given a box of chocolates. Of course, you're appreciative, yet there are always the chocolates that you don't want, the bitter ones that you wish would be replaced with something more tolerable. We were each other's bitter chocolate.

"I'm going to miss you, Vienna."

"You'll be fine," I said with certainty, resisting an eye roll. "And you're going to finish that damn car with Sadie." He had this dream of building a car with his kids but procrastinated constantly, so we hadn't finished, and now it was time for me to go. He only chuckled.

Turning to Tammy, I said, "I might miss you a little." Tammy had been my dad's girlfriend for nine years. We were assholes to each other, it was our way of showing affection. It was a refreshing alternative to the false sweetness I felt came too often my way.

"I don't see how you couldn't. Now that you're gone, I don't have to listen to you bitch and moan all the time."

I laughed at her. "Just don't get fatter or die, okay? I don't want to have to come back for your stupid funeral too."

"I might miss you a little," she admitted as we hugged.

"Yeah. Me too," I grinned. Before she could pull away, I whispered, "I hate leaving you like this but there's nothing here for me anymore. I need to leave; they don't understand that, though."

She pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "I get it, Valley. Don't you worry," she said adamantly nodding. "I get it. I think I'll leave soon too, I have family down South so I might move down there."

I nodded, worried about what might happen if she did but I pushed my thought aside for the mean time. "I'll come visit you then." 

"One day maybe, but right now, I need you to get out of here and live a little. God knows you need a little freedom from your mother," Tammy said, loud enough for my mom to hear. "Okay, not only her but you get it."

I shook my head, pushing aside a smile and avoiding my mom's glare.

Finally, I turned to Ivy. Tomorrow she'd be leaving for Florida. She couldn't wait to get away and have her own college adventure. "What's your mom going to do without the three of you?" I questioned, referring to her two older sisters.

"Beg for grandkids or bake," she rolled her eyes. "Probably both."

We are both flying to the East coast, on the other side of here, yet we'll still be on opposite sides of the country. "How did that happen?" I smiled sadly. 

"We grew up unfortunately." 

"It doesn't have to be. But I am going to miss you so we'll talk everyday because I don't want you forgetting me. I won't let you," I said hugging my best friend. I was scared to leave her. "We'll talk often, yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled, giving me another bear hug.

"Knowing you, you'll have such a blast on those beaches," I laughed. "I love you so much."

"Love you too, babe," she said between tears.

I stepped back and looked at everyone. Soon I'd be on the other side of the country all by myself.

I knew they didn't want me to go and didn't understand, but it's what I decided. "Only a few months and I'll be back." I reached for the handle of my baggage. "I'll let you know when I land." I righted myself with my bags in my hands.

For a visit, the voice in my head reminded me.

Saying our last goodbyes, I turned and walked into the security check line. They stayed there smiling reassuringly, waving, and yelling out to me until I couldn't see them any longer.

That was what I had chosen: flight.

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a/n

hey guys, this is the prologue for this story. For those of you who don't know what a prologue is, it's a separate introductory section of a literary (or musical) work. It takes place before the story and sort of gives us an idea of who the main character is. It isn't necessarily part of the rest story (though, you should read it as it is relevant).

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-maddy