Wreckage (A Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 2 - drowning

“Perrie…my dad lost his job” Jade admitted her soft brown eyes glossy. I reach to her and pulled her fragile body to my arms.

“Oh jadey…I’m so sorry. I’ll be here for you though, okay?” I whisper in her ear, while rubbing her back.

“Okay. I know you are perrie, it’s just…” She says softly unable to get the last words out.

“Tell me Jade” I whisper quietly.

“My dad said he won’t be able to give me presents for my birthday and all I wanted was a cake but he c-can’t” she sobs into my arm and my heart drops and I pull her closer.

“I know that we are young but we can bake a cake and have our own celebration. My parents have more than enough money and I promise I will get you presents.” I tell her looking deep into her eyes to make sure she knows I’m serious.

“Perrie you don-” she starts

“I want too.” I say sternly and she smiles as tear fall down.

“I love you perrie” she says her head falling onto my shoulder.

I jolt awake and I feel my pillow wet. I clench my jaw tightly. I try to close my eyes to carry myself back into the dreams, were I can hear her voice. But it doesn’t work. My breathing stops and I try to blink hard to stop the tears.

          My mom walks in and stops as she sees me. She gives me a confused look and looks disgusted. I really want to scream at her but I don’t have enough strength too.

“School Perrie.” She says firmly. I don’t get out, I don’t say a word. I stare blankly at my plain wall.

“Perrie you need to get out of bed.” She says crossing her arms. I clench my jaw really tightly and stare blankly. She lets out a loud sigh and pushes my covers off me. I don’t move I just burry my head deep into my pillow.

“Don’t make me take away the TV and your phone Perrie.” She says trying to keep her ground. But I don’t reply I could care less. I can see her start to get frustrated.

“You’re not going through this not talk to anyone stage again, are you?” she says with venom in here voice. I ignore her and turn over.

“You can’t do this Perrie, you must go to school. You have missed too many days.” After a minute of silence she groans in defeat.

“I’m going to be late for work. I’m not making you lunch or dinner and you cannot use the TV or your phone. Make sure to take you pills.” She huffs and then exits from the room. No I love you or bye.

          I spent about another half hour in bed. I use all the strength I have to rise. I slowly make my way to my closet, grabbing leggings and an oversized sweater. As I walk to the bathroom my eyes are red and puffy. The bags under my eyes are a deep purple. My hair is once again messy and tangled. I run the brush through my hair and step back looking at my reflection. I look like a ghost. Like an aching soul that is barely alive. I don’t bother putting make up on, I just tie my hair up. I grab my anti-depressants and swallow them with water.

           My feet barely move as I move inch by inch down the stairs to the kitchen. I rub my eyes hard till I see stars and walk around the kitchen like a zombie. I don’t feel hungry, my mind tells me I need food but I always feel empty and food can’t fill it.

          I settle on making tea as usually. I grab a pencil and my beat up old notebook. Ever since jade left I wrote in my note book. I write down all my thoughts in it. I write down poetry that seems to connect back to jade. But then I take my angry out on it, throwing it at the wall and screaming as I rip pages out. I grab the cup of tea and walk to the table sitting down and looking out the big window. I see grey clouds. No sun peeking, like no hope coming. I stare and start to drown in my thoughts, taking a sip of tea every once in a while. I scribble down my thoughts, my hand shaking here and there. Hours go by and I decide to take a nap, hoping to see her in my dreams.

***

“PERRIE!” my mom yells and my eyes open quickly. I look to the side and see the clock say 7:17. I sleep most of the day and all the night. I let out a sigh and my mom storms into the room.

“You.Are.Going.To.School.” she says harshly. I get up and walk past her noting feeling like hearing her voice today. As I start to walk down the stairs she follows me.

“Where are you going?” she says as she walks on my heels. I roll my eyes and start the tea.

“You are not skipping today if I have to drag you I will” she says and I tap my foot as I bring the mug to my mouth.

“What is wrong with you Perrie! What is wrong? Tell me right now!” she raises her voice. I stay silent not giving her any explanation.

“Is it Jade?” my head snaps up at her name and I glare at her.

“It is, isn’t it!” she says pacing back and forth.

“She is gone.” She stops and looks my in the eyes “She is long gone perrie, it’s been years and you aren’t going to see her. You aren’t going to contact her and you need to move on! SHE IS NOT HERE ANYMORE!!!” her voice is full of venom and I know she is trying to hurt me. I look deep into her eyes and stand up so I’m eye to eye.

“I hate you.” I say through my teeth as the tears pour out of my eyes.

***

The next week I stay home. I continue the process of my tea and writing in my notebook. My mom forces me to chew on crackers. As I look at my reflection, my body has got a lot thinner from the week of barely eating. I shed my clothes and turn the water on in the bath. I slowly ease into the hot water, sighing in relief. The hot water feels good on my sore muscles. I slowly sit back in the water and sink down till only my face is out of the water. Images of Jades face flood my mind. Her beautiful smile, her soft caring brown eyes, her brown long hair. She is breathtaking and she was my best friend. But she is gone, she no longer exist from my life. I slowly sink into the water until I can no longer breathe the air.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reads, comments, and votes. Keeping voting and commenting for early update!