Wreckage (A Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 5 - lost

(A/N I'm soo sorry for this late update but if it gets 20 votes I will update that day! I love you guys sooo much comment, vote, and follow :))

          As I look around frantically the nurse slowly stalks in. She gives me a shy smile and gently sits at the end of the bed.

“You can go to class now. Maybe Jade will be there. I know you were freaking out about meeting her…” she says softly trying not to get me worked up. I can’t help but my heart race. I struggle to keep my eyes open as with each heavy breath my shoulders sway forward. The nurse just waits for me to answer patiently. I try to keep my eyes open so the tears don’t fall. The dream was so vivid. Everything felt so real. I look at her in the eyes. I nod and get up, using all the strength I have to stay calm and walk. Each step I take is timid and small. I wait breathlessly at the counter as the lady signs me a past. She waves it in front of my face trying to get my attention. My thumb and index finger grip the edge and I leave the room. I pick up speed to the classroom, what if Jade is in there. My fast walk turns into a run and I sprint down the halls as I reach the classroom my chest rises and falls fastly. My hand will not grip the knob, it just shakes. I lunge forward gripping the knob tightly and it shakes as I try to turn it but fail just resting my hand there. I then feel the other side twist and pulls the door open. In that moment everything around me blurs. Only the beautiful brown eyes look back at me. My heart becomes frozen and shivers run up my spin. Her lips gently part and I can’t help but examine them. As we look deeper into each other’s eyes tears start to brim mine. Hers tears fall down her cheek and I start to shake. No words are exchanged just longing looks into each other’s eyes. Years of pain in our expressions. The teacher calls my name and she breaks contact looking down at the ground. I can’t think. I can’t speak. I can’t process this. All the emptiness and sorrow just all in one glance. I couldn’t breathe. The feeling of air escaping from my lungs. As everyone piled out I sat there staring at the wall. No expression. No focus. Just a blank gaze. My eyes becoming dull and gray. My body motionless.

“Perrie..You neeed to get to class” Mrs. Jacobs said sternly. I ignored her staring at the wall.

“Ms.Edwards it’s time to leave” she said stepping closer.

“Leave.” she said slamming her hands on the table trying to look in my eyes. I lowered my eyes narrowing in on her.

“Leave? I’m just going to leave and never come back. I am supposed to leave and never contact you again and then show up like its all okay?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO! JUST LEAVE!” I shout getting up and throwing my desk towards the wall. I scream at the top of my lungs and start to throw books around. Shoving them of the shelves and hurling them at the brick walls.

“STOP!” she yelled putting her hands out to prevent the books from coming at her. She tried to get ahold of me but I struggled throwing my arms and kicking my legs.

“PERRIE STOP THIS INSTINT” she yelled and I fell to the ground crying. I lay in the isle of the desks and just cried and looked at the ceiling. She tried picking me up but I shook my head and got up myself. As soon as I got to my feet I feel forward into her arms and she held me up. I bawled and jades name fell from my mouth repeatedly. She just held me while I cried and cried till nothing was left.

***

I sit at my window seal looking down at the old cracked road. I crawled up into a ball. Holding my body close. I watched as groups of teenagers passed walking to the football field. Each dressed remotely the same in boring clothes. As another group passed they stopped in front of our house. A lump in my throat formed. I see Dylan laughing and pushing his friends they chuckled as they run to my door and started to knock. I froze and walked down the stairs to the door. I take a deep breath and open the door ready to tell them I’m busy. Dylan stands there in front spreading his arms open.

“PEZ! Want to come with us to dinner and then the football game?” he says cheerfully.

“Uhh…” I bite my lip about to tell them an excuse when my mom comes up behind me.

“She would love too!’ my mom smiles fakely pushing me forward. I turn around glaring at her but she keeps up the smile reassuring the group. They all smile and ruffle my hair pulling me along to the usually sports bar.

          As we arrive they all laugh loudly scurrying into the sports bar. The bar is totally different from the other world outside. This is where most everybody comes before football games because they allow you to look like whatever you want to look like, they allow you to express yourself unlike the outside world which you just be conservative and respectful otherwise you get in trouble with the town. That’s why once most people are old enough they flee if they can.

          James goes up to the man and whispers in his ear with charlotte on his hip. The man nods and we follow him to our table. Everyone sits down and starts to chat.

“Pez I have extra clothes and makeup for you” Eva whispers to me and I smile back at her. At least Eva cares.

“All of us girls should get changed now” Ava announces standing up. All the girls agree climbing out of their chairs with their bags and skipping to the bathroom. I follow slowly behind. Ava tosses me a skin tight red dress that has thick straps and crosses in the back. Kind of fancy for a football game but everyone does this. We pile out of the stalls and run to the mirrors. I guess dressing up makes up for all this pain. My heart leaps at the thought of seeing jade again. We use to love all the makeup and the dressing up; we were so similar in that way.

          I finish up blending my eye shade and lining my waterline. I keep my lips nude so they don’t contrast with my dress. Everyone struts out in their out fits laughing and clinging to their boyfriends who have also freshened up. Dylan pats the seat next to him. I really would rather not but I still sit there not making an emotion to him. I really just want to cry. As the thought of jade back in this town floods into my mind I feel my eyes water up and I suck it in.

“Guys I want you all the meet someone” James announces turning the attention to him.

“This is Jade” he says and my heart stops. I feel everything go black and I have to use all my strength to stay conscious.

“Hi guys” Jade says shyly in her Geordie accent thick. My heart is fluttering a thousand times per second I could feel like it could explode. I finally look up examining her. She is wearing a circle skirt and a crop top. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail, curled, and topped with a bow. My eyes start to water and she connects with them and her eyes are saddened. But I stop myself and suck all my emotion away and become just a plain wall. Jade ironically sat across from me her brown eyes big and sad. As they include her in the conversations she smiles a little but it fades soon after.

“Perrie why so tense?” Dylan coos in my ear making me jump slightly. I shake my head looking away. When I found her I aspect to take her in my arms and never let her go not have her cut me off.  

          I feel Dylan’s hand creep up my legs sliding his hand up and down my leg. I tense even more feeling so uncomfortable. I bit my cheek as his fingers brushes up my dress. I close my eyes tightly feeling too afraid to make a scene. I catch jades glaze and her eyes brows turn down. She bites her lip feeling panicked. She knows what is happening. I try to move my leg trying to shake him off. He just tightens his grip. Jade then spills her drink causing everyone to get distracted including Dylan. Jade jumps back embarrassed her cheeks a deep shade of red.

“I’m so so sorry” she explains but they reassure her it’s okay . We all decide it’s time to go. Everyone piles out jade traveling behind. Dylan wraps his hand tightly around me guiding me out. But before we leave I turn back looking over my shoulder at jade. Her eyes are tearing up, her mouth quivering. She holds her breath in trying not to cry and before I can look away she nods a  your welcome.