Wreckage (A Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 3 - blacking out

          I am nothing but a soulless body. Any part of my heart has been tarred from me. Jade will never come back. I won’t be able to leave this town. There is no way out. I might as well just go to school and repeat every depressing day. Might as well be with someone I do not love. What is the point anymore? In life we are bound to die. There is no way out of death.

          As I look at my reflection I look drained and horrid. My lips are cracked and dry. My hair is tangled and sticks out everywhere. My eyes are tired and bloodshot. My body is thin and fragile. I don’t even try today I just put my hair in a bun and exit the bathroom. I grab my backpack and walk out the door to the bus. I don’t bother saying bye to my parents. Right before I step out my mom gasps at my appearance. She tries to tell me to go change but I slam the door in her face and walk to the bus.

          I quickly run into the bus and take a seat at the very back. As I walk down the aisle everything around me seems to go in slow motion. No one acknowledges my presence, it’s like I’m not even there. When I sit down, I look out the window and watch the trees and houses pass. The bus stops at one of the more poor neighborhoods. That’s when I see it…her old house. My breathing stops and so many memories flood my thoughts. I feel like screaming. My breathing then picks up pace and I feel like I will hyperventilate. A single tear runs down my cheek as the bus pulls away.

***

I walk into 1st hour and don’t care what anyone says about me. My life is too short to care. I sit down in my normal spot and all the popular snotty girls turn to me with disgusted faces.

“Perrie you look like hell!” Gwen says baffled.

“thanks.” I mumble and slouch down in my chair. 

“So you disappear for a week and come back like a slob!” Elizabeth comments and I snap my head at her giving her a glare. I really hate all these people they have no idea what is going on.

          I then feel someone’s hands grab me from the back and lean down. Dylan peeks his face around my shoulder and literally jumps to the ceiling.

“Babe you look horrible.” He says as he looks like he has seen a ghost.

“Well thanks!” I say sarcastically. I feel like I just want to punch everyone.

“Jesus girl” one of the brawny boys says and I just want to die right here. The girls shake their heads and turn back around, there high long pony tails bobbing. I let out a deep sigh. I have five minutes to spare before class. I take out my old notebook and start to write but I stop myself. I don’t want to but I have to let go. I can’t hold on to Jade. She has been gone for years and I still can’t get over her. But I must. I will be 18 soon and I can go find her. But my parents will do all in their power to keep me from her and I don’t know why.

 “Hey tonight we and the boys are going out with our girls and you should come” Dylan said his arm stopping me from going anywhere. I tried to speak up but he wouldn’t budge. I need to get out, I need to move on from her.

“I-I guess so…”I sigh closing my eyes.

“Just look your best, okay?” He says trying not to refer to my appearance now. I roll my eyes and leave not wanting to talk to him.

***

I put on a simple tight black dress that shows off my body, it has to thick black straps and the neck line goes kind of low for my liking but I don’t care. I brush as hard as I can through my hair and braid a little bit of it out of my face and let the rest lay natural. I apply dark eye shadow and lots of concealer to my face. I look at my reflection as I apply coats of mascara I step back and sigh. I should go through this much trouble for someone I don’t like. I put on a brave face and go downstairs. I wait at the door and look out the window, the dim light post are the only light to the dark night.