Wreckage (A Jerrie Fanfiction)

Chapter 7 - Flying

(A/N I'm So so soso so so so sorry for not updating I have been super busy and I feel terrible but I plan on updating early if this get 10 comments and 20 votes)

I look at the blood on my wrist and my chest clasps my heart stabbing from inside me. The realization hits me as I see the fresh cut. I can’t let myself go into that dark stage again but I drown out my thoughts with my sobs.

          I throw back my head and with a thud it hits the solid wall. My toes go numb from the cold tile underneath me. Slowly I stand up, keeping my wrist elevated. My head spins and pounds against my skull. I hiccup trying to stop the damn tears. I turn on the faucet letting the water rush out. I hesitate to put the cut under but I am in panic for what I should do. I hesitantly push my wrist under and let out a hiss as the cut contacts the water. I take a deep breath inhaling my tears. The cut stings and I jerk away crying.

          My tears aren’t for the cut but for Jade. Jade has taken every part of me. She doesn’t even know the affect she has on me. Every memory slashes at me with sharp blades. She floods my head. My every thought. My every action. There are these puzzle pieces that I can’t figure out about us. But my mom hides the missing pieces making it that much harder.

          I pull at the roots of my hair trying to put this puzzle together but I can’t and tears of frustration fall down my cheeks. Is she brainwashed? Does she still feel the same way? Does she feel as empty?

          I push open the bathroom door stumbling out as the walls deceive me, twisting sideways. My feet try to walk straight but end up crossing. My head and mind are lightheaded. All I can thing is get to your bed. I use the walls as support as I stumble through the halls to my bed. Just as I feel as everything will go black I fall onto the soft cold empty bed and my eyes roll into my head as everything does go black.

***

          I wake up to a killer headache. I start groaning and twisting around. My legs are tingling and asleep, my dress is twisted and messed up, my hair is tangled and knotted, and my wrist is cut. My eyes flutter close trying to fall back into the world which isn’t real and isn’t judgmental. I feel like I’m walk down a long empty tunnel never seeing the light on the other side.

          I shrug off the covers, stretching my aching muscles over my head. I turn my head to the mirror to see the pale sad girl staring back at me. She doesn’t look like who I use to know. She doesn’t look like the girl who use to smile when ever Jade came over or the girl who would spend hours watching the stars with that same girl. I don’t remember the last time I smiled for real. Not a forced smile but a real smile.      

          The person staring back at me had tired eyes that are red, she had deep purple under eye baggage, and she has dark makeup down her face and chapped lips. She looks like she has gone through hell. But the truth is, she has.

          Without bothering I stumble down the steps holding onto the railing tighter than I intended too. My cheeks were covered in black streaks from my tears. I look horrible but I could care less. As I turn the corner I hear my parents talking.

“Our daughter came in last night wearing a skin tight red dress and tons of makeup.” My mom said to my father with disgust.

“Oh. Are you serious?” He asks with disappointment. I decided to fall back so they can’t see me.

“That’s not even the worse part… Jade and The Thirlwalls are back.” She explains hushing her tone.

“Dammint I thought they were gone for good.” What?

“We cannot have Perrie in contact with those scum it disgusts me that they have the nerve to show up again. We need to keep Perrie on a short leash and I’m considering taking her out of that school. We have made sure they have no contact and it has been way to long for us to back down we must keep her away.” My mom lets out a long breath as she finishes.

“When I see that young lady she is in loads of trouble. What are our options? My daughter will not be wearing any makeup or sluttly clothes neither will she be with the thirlwall girl! I will not allow it!” He raises his tone in frustration. I then realize how cruel and how big of pricks my parents are. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and run as far away as I can but these stupid invisible chains hold me down. Without thinking I step into the kitchen so my eyes lock with theirs. Their eyes are wide with shock for they didn’t realize me standing there.

“I can’t believe either of you! I hate you guys so fucking much!”

“HEY! Watch it young lady!” my dad raise his voice his expression hard as he steps closer to me. His finger point at me shaking.

“Don’t come anywhere close to me you disgrace of parents. You like to sacrifice my happiness because you have hate towards someone. Jade has done nothing to you!” I scream. “She has done nothing but make me feel wanted unlike you guys!”

“Now you shut your filthy mouth Perrie!” My dad threatens grabbing ahold of my wrist. I grit my teeth pulling back away from him. But he just keeps ahold of me.

“I will not have my daughter dressing like a whore!” He spits in my face.

“Get off me!” I thrash but he doesn’t budge. My wrist starts to cry out in pain, the flesh reddening.

“Your h-hurting me!” I cry out searching for my mom’s eyes that refuse to find mine.

My face starts to turn red as I grind my teeth so hard and tears form in the corner of my eyes. With all the strength I have I spit at him causing him to stubble back yelling. With that I grab my black trench coat and the nearest shoes which are heels and burst out the door without thinking.

All my mind is set on is getting away no matter the consequences. I am able to choke up the tears as I have no energy to cry. The cold fall air hits my skin causing the chills that grow on my flesh. I tie a knot in the belt and tuck my arms around myself. I keep the heels in my hand. I have no clue where I am going but I know it is away from here. I wonder what people think of this messed up girl with no shoes and makeup down her face is doing walking around on the streets. I know that this town would call the police if they were to see me. I decided I should go somewhere where no one can see me if I don’t want to get hurt or shunned. But then again I could not a give a shit maybe I should peel my clothes off and run around naked to show I don’t care and to show they ruined me but it’s too damn cold so I head to the old park where no one goes to mostly because the children in this town aren’t allowed to have any fun.

          I walk down the empty streets passing the still quiet houses, all the same color and same style. As I get to the park it looks sad and broken. Almost too much like me.

          I take a seat on the cold swing letting my feet push me off the ground and up into the air. I like the feeling, it’s almost like flying. I keep getting higher and higher. I love the feeling as I come down and lean my body back so my head is upside down, the blood flowing to the top of me. I love the creek as I go back and forth and I love the rush of wind stinging my face. By now the air has numbed my feet which is a feeling I’m addicted to. Numbing. And as I continue to enjoy this childhood beautiful nightmare I feel another body present.