Wreckage (A Jerrie Fanfiction)

chapter 6 - falling

 warning: may trigger 

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          We all walk over to the football fields jumping over a small metal fence to get to it. The sky seems to turn a dark blue the clouds hanging low.

“God, I hope it doesn’t rain” Eva complains groaning.

“It always rains, shouldn’t you be used to it” I comment my voice distant.          

“Yeah but it’s the football game babe!” Dylan encourages shaking me slightly attempting to get me excited. I just keep my lips pressed in a firm line not responding.

All that is on my mind is Jade. How can she just show up and act as if nothing is wrong, like I’m just another person in the crowd. Her brown eyes haunting me, five years and nothing but silence. Loneliness consumes me. Even though Dylan is my boyfriend he just seems as our relationship was forced by my mother. She just wanted me to love someone that I don’t love. He is nothing but a self-centered popular jock. 

I cross my arms feeling insecure about everything, I try my best to avoid eye contact from everyone, especially Jade. If I look at her I will break down into sobs.

We settle up at the top of the bleachers, seated boyfriend/girlfriend. I roll my eyes at how clique it is. I feel like we are in secondary school again. Jade quietly settles herself at the end of the bench, crossing her hands in her lap.

          The football team jogs out to their starting positions. Hoots and hollers come from the bleachers. I stay quiet staring off into the distance, the dark clouds coming closer. The ball is kicking off and the passing begins. I try to focus on my game but my mind can’t get off jade. I start to shake from my heart beating too fast. The images of Jade and I just flood my thoughts. I feel as if I’m drowning hard and fast.  All of the gasp and screams are muffled as I can only hear the beating of my heart in my ears. It feels as if something you love is so close but so far. The distance is more than reality of a few people. The distance is miles. I dig my nails into my palm, trying to calm myself but failing. I start to take deeper breaths trying harder to stay calm.

          I watch as James whispers into charlottes ear causing her to giggle and blush. Without mention they run off giggling. Probably they are going to make out or something. My stomach does a flip as I realize only four people remain between Jade and I.

          The clouds now seem to be practically over us heavy with rain.

“It’s gonna rain” I whisper looking up.

“Yeah that’s cool babe.” Dylan says his attention clearly focused on the game. I sigh feeling as if I’m going to puke or burst into tears at any moment.  

“OH! So close” Eva shouts clapping her hands, her boyfriend laughing at her excitement. I can’t help but admire the way he looks at her with such awe. Its way I could never look at Dylan like and vice versa.

“So Jade why did you move here?” Dylan asks leaning forward to make eye contact with her.

“Oh I actually was here before, my dad’s job required us to come back.” Her voice rings in my ears sending pleasure and pain through my body. Why did you have to ask her Dylan you stupid boy.

“Cool, welcome back” he says nodding his head.

“Thanks” she says giving a weak forced smile. I can’t help but picture how life would have been if she would have stayed.