Graceful Departure// Harry Styles Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirteen

“Harry.. Harry. I can’t settle Grace down. She keeps crying.” I heard Mark say as he gently shook my shoulders as I lay on the sofa downstairs.

“Where is she? I’ll come and play with her.” I groaned, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. Mark sighed with relief.

“She’s upstairs in her room with Johanna.” He said, walking away. “Do you want a cup of tea?” He asked me before he disappeared behind the door.

“Please.” I replied getting up and stretching for a few seconds before standing. I hunted around for my phone and found it deep in my back jeans pocket. I looked through my texts and sighed, knowing I wouldn’t find any missed calls or texts from Jennifer but hoping none-the-less.

I heard Mark put the kettle on so I threw myself up the stairs already hearing Grace’s cries.

“Hey bubbah!” I said smiling cheerfully as I opened the door slowly. Almost instantly Grace began to stop crying and turned her body in Johanna’s lap to find my voice. “Hello beautiful!” I whispered, taking her hands in a couple of my fingers.

“Do you know how long I’ve been trying to send her to sleep?” Johanna sighed getting up and passing Grace to me. 

“Oooooooh, someone’s getting heavy!” I laughed, taking the weight from Johanna. “Go and get some sleep.” I said to Johanna as she got to the door. 

“I could sleep for a week if I had the time.” She said, smiling at me.

“Come on you. How about I take you for a walk!” I said, leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. Johanna and Mark regularly took her for a walk to the graveyard where Louis and Samantha where buried but I hadn’t been there since the funeral 2 months. 

I put her into a warm blue outfit with a pink hat and pink gloves and put her in the pram to drink my cup of tea before getting changed into some skinny jeans and a white t-shirt and a large oversized grey hoody with my muddy white converses. It was early April and still a little chilly on odd days. 

I opened the front door and pushed the pram out. It was refreshingly cold but not in a bitter way, it made me feel more awake. We went for a long walk to the park and I managed to find a tiny little cafe which was warm inside were I could take off her hat and gloves and bought her a warm milk and myself a large hot chocolate. I welcomed the hot drink as I felt it as the liquid made its way through my body, heating me from within.

Grace began to giggle at something going on in the corner of the room. A familiar elderly couple were making faces at her which had her in giggles. They came over and sat at my table.

“Mr Childs, how are you doing?” I asked outstretching my hand as Mrs Childs was entertaining Grace. 

“We're doing fine, Harry, how are you doing? We’re so sorry for your loss.” He said taking my hand and shaking it before smiling at Grace. “She looks just like them, doesn’t she.”

I nodded and smiled at her. “Yeah, she does. I’m getting through it. It’s been hard though.” Mrs Childs sighed and took a seat with us. 

“She’s beautiful.” She said before looking at me. “How are you coping?” She asked me, genuinly concerned. This elderly couple lived down the road from me and Louis and I often went round and did their shopping for them if one of them was ill. We did everything we could to make sure they were safe and well as they didn’t have children of their own because their son died a few years ago at war. 

“I’m coping OK, I guess.”

“If you ever need anything, anything at all.. It’s the least we could do for you. If you want a night off then we are more than willing to babysit her. Anything we can do to help, we’ll do for you.”

“Thank you. It means a lot. It really does.” I replied. “How has your chest infection been?” I asked Mrs Childs, knowing she had been quiet ill recently, but I had been too caught up with Grace to go round and help. 

“I’m feeling much, much better thank you.” The conversation flowed and Grace fell asleep. It was nice to have a normal conversation which didn’t revolve around Louis and Samantha. After an hour of sitting in the cafe I finally got up and took Grace to the park again. 

“Would you like to go on the swing?” I asked her, giggling a little as her eye widened as I picked her up from the pram.

I sat on one of the swings as the sun crept out from behind the clouds. We swung back and forth for a while, Grace giggling every so often at a seagull walking towards us and trying to steal some of the quavers that had been left on the ground. 

“Silly seagull!” I said in a childish voice as one of the seagulls got it’s head trapped in the crisp packet. We both sat swinging on the swing laughing at the seagull which was running around the ground trying with all it’s might to get the packet off of it’s head. Grace’s laugh was louder than her cries and after a few minutes her laugh had transformed into Louis’ laugh. I stopped swinging and listened purely to her laugh. Trying with everything I had inside of me to not cry. I got up and put her back in the pram and took her home. We got in just before the sun had set and I ran upstairs leaving Grace with Mark and slammed the door to the bathroom shut and locked myself in it.

Everyday I was constantly being reminded of my best friend who was no longer with me. It hurt to hear her laugh because it was so similar to his, it hurt to live in his house where I had so many memories with him, to be in the same band without him, to carry on living when he wasn’t here with me.

I opened up the cabinet and found some of Samantha’s strong painkillers and some of Louis’ familiar aftershave. I sprayed it and let the smell settle in my nostrils as I rolled the tube of painkillers around in my hands, willing myself to take the whole tube and leave the cruel and lonely world behind me, but something inside me couldn’t leave Grace here alone.

I placed the aftershave and the pills back in the cupboard and unlocked the door, wiping away the tears that had fallen down my face. Creeping down the stairs I saw Johanna sitting on the sofa with her laptop out. I took a seat next to her and stretched out on it. Mark came in with Grace in his arms and asked if we wanted a cup of tea again. I nodded as he placed Grace down on my stomach. I began toying with the pink hat Mark had left on making everyone giggle, including Grace. Mark took his phone out of his jeans pocket and took a photo of us playing on the sofa, smiling at the sight of his beautiful granddaughter having the same loving and happy effect that his son had had on everyone.