My eyes hurt and my head pounded from all the crying I’d done the night before but somehow I had managed to trek through the snow to my house next door and wondered up the stairs and passed out in the comfort of my bed. But waking up this morning, reality hit me. Jennifer loved Niall now and there was nothing I could do to change it.
I took a quick shower and slumped downstairs into just my grey tracksuit bottoms to find Niall sitting at the kitchen table looking tired and guilty. I said nothing but kept walking till I reached the fridge to get an apple for breakfast.
“Hey man.” Niall said quietly in an attempt to judge the situation between us. Once again I said nothing, not I didn’t even look at him as I walked past him. “Really? We’re going to do this again?” He said angrily getting up, storming past me and up the stairs.
Niall sat opposite me on the white sofa with Jennifer next to him, her hand in his. They looked comfortable together and with the situation. Jennifer shifted her leg underneath her body and looked up at me. “He makes me happy Harry.. And I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” She began. I shook my head and got up from the chair and began to pace the room.
“I thought you loved me..” I said quietly, cletnching my fists to stop me from hitting Niall. I looked down at them, Niall looked happy with himself, smug even, but Jennifer looked down to the ground avoiding my gaze.
“I did too.” She mumbled.
“GET OUT!” I shouted to Niall. “JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” I yelled. Niall looked up at me and stormed up the stairs, slamming his door behind him. I took a deep breath and rubbed my hands over my face. "You too!" I spat as Jennifer who was still sitting on the sofa.
Taking a bite out of the bitter apple to grabbed a t-shirt that was hanging on the radiator to dry and threw it over my head running out of the house into the cold snow and over the fence to the house next door.
The warm air of Louis’ old house hit me. It still smelt like him. It still smelt like my late best friend. In a weird way I felt comforted by it, like not every part of him was still gone but after a few seconds the wind inside me had been knocked out.
Louis was never coming back.
“Hey.” I heard Jennifer say from the top of the stairs timidly. “You look rough.” She added as she climbed down the stairs in one of Niall’s sports brand t-shirts.
“Yeah, well you don’t look to grand either!” I snapped, taking the stairs two steps at a time shoving past her. I heard her sigh but I didn’t care. She broke my heart.
“Don’t you dare make a sound that will stir that little baby girl! I swear to God I will..” Zayn began angrily as I stomped up the stairs.
“You’ll what? What can you possibly do to make my life any worse than it already is?” I hissed at him. Zayn looked at me in surprise and opened the door to the bedroom quietly.
I was snapping at everyone and anyone I saw today. I felt foul and didn’t care who I hurt in the process but the minute my eyes caught sight of Grace every ounce of anger seeped out of me.
“Hey beautiful!” I whispered to the sleeping beauty in the cot. She looked like Louis so much that it sent stabbing aching pains into me. Pulling up a chair I sat by the cot for the next few hours just watching her sleep.
“She looks like him, doesn’t she.” Liam said quietly as he came into the room with a warm bottle of milk. I nodded and looked at him. “She needs to be fed. You want to do it?” He asked me. I shook my head but he shoved the bottle into my hands anyway. ”Well tough. You’ll need to learn this for when we’re gone.”
I put the bottle on the side of the chair and got up to pick Grace up, she was already stirring, obviously hungry. Sliding my hands around her I supported her head and sat down again.
“OK, so raise the bottle and gently slip inside her mouth.” Grace wrapped her tiny hands around the bottle and began sucking at it.
“Jesus, she’s so hungry.” I said laughing lightly.
“Yeah, it’s feeding time.” Liam replied. I looked at him showing the worry in my face. “Harry, you’ll be fine! You’ll make a brilliant dad!” He said reassuringly.
“How can you be so sure?” I asked him quietly. Liam sighed and shook his head at me.
“Now you need to bounce her up and down. She’ll probably need to burp. Gently, gently Harry!” Liam laughed putting his hand on my arm to help me bump her correctly.
“I don’t think I can do this without you..” I said quietly before Grace burped. I laughed at the sound of it. “How do babies even burp?” Grace began to giggle at the sound of my laughter.
“I think you’ll be just fine without me, Harry.” Liam said gently, getting up and leaving the room. Grace wriggled in my arms and stretched her arms out at a large pink trunk at the end of her cot.
“You want to play beautiful?” I said in a baby voice I’d never used before. “Want to play with your toys? I got you a whole box to keep us entertained.”
Grace began giggling again as I got a soft bear out of the a large trunk that had been filled to the brim with toys. I placed it on my hip and took my phone out to take a photo of us to send to Johanna, Louis’ mum.
I hope you’re doing OK. You are always more than welcome here. I’m pretty sure I could use your help with your granddaughter, baby Grace, she’s a handful. Come and visit us soon. -Harry x
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Graceful Departure// Harry Styles Fan Fiction
FanficWhen Harry's best friend Louis is killed, days after his daughter is born, Harry is thrust into the world of responsibility and parenting.
