Have you ever wanted something so badly it kills you inside? Have you ever missed someone so much that the thought of them not even within 3 feet of you hurts? Well that's what it feels like to want you. Yes you. You know who you are if you're reading this. The thought of not being with you makes death sound more and more inviting. When we were together I felt like everything was getting better, I was opening up my walls and loving again. Loving you. There's nothing I want more than to reverse the clock and meet you sooner or not meet you at all to save you all this pain because my biggest regret is those things I said to you when I didn't even mean them. I'd do anything to take them all back. It was selfish of me to beg you to stay when you need to get better first. But I'm selfish when it comes to you. I wanted us to be a team and work things out and I wanted to help you with your getting better, encourage you, remind you of how much you mean to me on a daily basis. I wanted to be the one who got you better, I wanted to be the one who made you believe in love again. Just like you made me believe again. I let you in. There was just something right about us being together, you called it chemistry. I'm in agony yearning for you, everything about you and you're 2200 miles away from me. You haven't even physically touched me and I feel like I belong to you. I know you won't ever come back to me in the way I want so I'll just get this off my chest. I'll put my walls back up, you're not coming back to me, I can feel it. You'll probably go back to her or find another girl down there and love her. So it's okay, you can move on and forget about me. It's probably better this way. But don't think for an instant I'm not thinking about you or missing you with every fiber of me. Because I am. And I'll miss you for the rest of my life. And I won't ever forget you but it's okay if you forget me. It's okay.
