Girl Talk With sRah

Periods

Today an asshole told me "Okay, stop being so over dramatic. Having a period can't be that bad."

Alright children, gather around! Mamma's going to tell you a bed time story.

You're sleeping peacefully in your warm ass bed, snuggled up nice and tight in your blankets in the middle of a beautiful dream about Troyler. Something isn't right, though, you can feel it. A warm, wetness between your thighs, and not the good kind either. This pulls you out of your amazing dream, and you pull the covers back to reveal a huge stain of red on your bed. It only takes a second for you to realize it's blood. (Don't worry it's yours. You didn't sleep kill anyone.)

Now, people of the male population would be frightened to wake up and find themselves bleeding , they would probably start screaming and trying to stop the flow of blood, and rush themselves to a hospital. But this has become normal for you. The sight of blood barely makes you bat an eyelash. All you can think is 'Fuck, man, I wasn't suppose to get this shit for another 3 days!' With that thought, you stumble out of your bed and waddle to the bathroom. Why are you waddling, you ask? Well you see, liquid travels in the direction of gravity, and having slept on your back last night, the blood saw it fit to slither it's way down to a certain crack on you backside and made quite a sticky mess all over you skin. It also bled through you underwear and the pajama pants you had on, which are now sticking to your skin and are uncomfortably wet.

Seeing no recourse for this mess, you strip and hop in the shower. As you watch the water stream down red, you like to pretend you just won a battle and you are washing the blood of your enemies from your body. That's not the case however, and all too soon it's time to exit the shower. Now, the race begins. You have to get out and get dressed before blood can start streaming down your legs and make a mess again. You've had years of experience though, and manage to get the feat done.

Clean and with a fresh pad on (It's much too early to shove a tampon up there, you decided), you head to your room to clean you bed. But, that's when you start to feel it.

That little pain in your abdomen that can only mean one thing.

Cramps.

In only moments, your lower belly is full of the excruciating pain. You're certain that someone is stabbing you with a rusting knife, but no, it's just your uterus literally shredding itself apart and getting rid of the dead tissue. Now, reader, you may be wondering, do cramps really happen that fast? It varies from woman to woman, but in many cases, the cramps happen immediately.

The pain is so debilitating that you rush back into the bathroom and vomit. Clinging to the toilet bowl as you spew out last night's chicken, you realize your stomach is protesting in other ways, then you rip off your pants as your body's waste makes it's exit through your backside. (The polite way of saying that you fucking shit out of your intestines because you get extreme diarrhea.)

These cramps last for a few hours, still, in which you lay in a fetal position on the bathroom floor. All the while, blood is pouring out of a fucking hole in your body, and actions like coughing a sneezing only send a flood of blood pouring out. There is no position that you can stand, sit, or lay in that will lessen the pain, and while pain killers help, the pain simply has to run it's course. Suddenly, that large butchers knife in the kitchen seems tempting. You wonder what the survival rate would be if you decided to carve out your uterus- surely it wouldn't hurt as much as this. But you're in too much pain to even get up... perhaps another day.

Eventually, you overcome the cramps, and you're somewhat back to normal. But the effects of your period aren't over yet. Now you're staving, and for the most ridiculous food. You want a big mac with extra mayonnaise, large fries,and a large chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream. Oh, and a peanut butter and nutella sandwich. Your father looks at you as if you have a third eye when you ask him to purchase this meal, but your mother knowingly nods in understanding and gets it for you.

This is just the first day, however. This torture lasts on for about 5 days on average, and society expects you to go about your life as if everything were normal. Never mind that wearing pads is about the most stressful thing you can do, because if it even so much as moves an inch to the left or the right, you'll have a fucking Niagara Bloody Falls leaking out and staining your pants. Not to mention that wearing a pad is like wearing a diaper, and when you sit down, you're sitting on a soggy piece of fabric soaked in your own blood and there's no way of sitting that isn't uncomfortable as hell. Your other option is a tampon, which is even more uncomfortable. You find the feeling of a huge piece of cotton shoved up your vagina to be weird, but sometimes it can't be avoided. However, the health implications of tampons are always on your mind, because if you leave it in a few minutes too long, you can go into Toxic Shock Syndrome which can induce seizures and leave you with brain damage.

Fun, right?

As if that weren't enough, you think to yourself, it's not even really blood that's coming out of you! It is, but it's also gooey pieces and chunks of your uterus. As you change your pad, you stare down at the dirty one in disgust.

Sleeping is a mission critical during this time. There's no position to sleep in that doesn't have it's problems. Sleep on your side? You wake up with blood leaking down your thigh and on days when the flow is particularly heavy, out the side of your underwear. And you already know what sleeping on your back gets you, as you found out earlier when you had to spend time in the shower cleaning your ass.

The worse part is that this is completely unavoidable, and for the most part, it'll happen every month for anywhere between 20-40 years of your life. Your nose wrinkles at the mere thought of doing this once, imagine doing this for nearly half your life.

And to you, yes you, the boy said this to me who is probably reading this, to you I say, well, uh... MIND YOUR OWN DAMN MOTHERFUCKING BUSINESS BITCH! LITTLE STUPID BITCH! LITTLE TWO-PLUS-TWO NOT-KNOWING-WHAT-THE-FUCK-IT-IS BITCH! CROSS EYED, CRYING DOWN YOUR BACK, FAT FOOT ASS BITCH! LONG TITTED, NO NIPPLE HAVING ASS BITCH!

What's the worse part about your period?