Monster (A Reylo FanFic) Wattys 2016

XV

A/N: I've been avoiding posting this chapter because I don't want it to be the end yet and also because this month has been beyond stressful preparing for ap tests. Anyone thanks all for the amazing comments and votes. I hope to have new story for you after the first week of May, but I may or may not give seem hints about what it's about soon. Don't forget to vote and comment. Love you all. Thank you all for you're amzing support throughout this whole book.💙

~10 years later~

Ben's POV:

"Ben...Ben...Find me."

The same voice for the last ten years whispered out my name and begged me to find it. It only need to speak once to recognize it. Rey. Every single night I'd chase after it and every single night I came so close merely catching a small glimpse of her before she disappeared. It was the only part of my day I looked forward to. It was the only hope of ever being with her again.

I would've thought time would've healed me by now, but it had only fixed bits and pieces.

After her funeral I had spent a whole month in bed grieving her, refusing myself the gift of live because I had convinced myself I wasn't worth living anymore. My uncle brought me to my senses, realizing that the longer I denied myself to start anew the more Rey's sacrifice would grow to be meaningless.

He and I traveled back to what once was the Jedi Temple and there he trained me to control my anger,fear, and depression. Every day was a struggle, but he reminded me of Rey and how my love for her was enough to make me try until I succeeded.

It took four years for me to have control over my emotions. I had decided to leave the temple, but Luke chose to stay behind. He had found a boy who showed signs of possibly becoming a Jedi. Luke dedicated himself to find all who showed the same gift and guided them.

Before returning home to my mother, I went back to Jakku for the last time. I remembered the location of Rey's home from the thoughts I had invaded so long ago. It still laid in the same place although it had been scattered and torn for pieces. I'd spent time searching for all her belongings and collecting them all to take back with me. I left her home with a promise to be a better person for her.

Back with mother I helped her plan the search for Snoke. After the last and final attack of the First Order, Snoke had fled without a clue of where he went next. My mother had sent pilots along with Finn, who in time recovered as well, to search for him. Tiresome and long lasting efforts had finally granted them the first clue in years of his location. In the end my mother's pleas convinced me to join them.

I slaughtered Snoke, my rage shook throughout every single bone in my body. I had I resented him and despised him more than anyone else.I made sure a whole audience was present to witness his death. I suffocated him and stuck him time after time making each hit fiercer than before. It had taken all my might to stop myself from causing harm to anyone. Up to this day I still struggle with my inner desire to belong to the dark again. I couldn't be around Finn and my mother, two much resentment and hatred lay back in the base of the Resistance. Every single day I spent by their side was another minute I was being poisoned by horrendous thoughts.

I only lasted three months there before accepting Luke's offer to help him train younglings. I thought he would have been hesitant about me having direct contact with them seeing as our previous history didn't end up well, but he trusted me. He insisted he knew I wouldn't do anything to bring them harm. He was right. Being with kids reminded me of the hope I once held to start a family with Rey. I never told her anything about it, but every night when she was alive I thought about the possibility. I would've loved to have a little girl just as beautiful as Rey. She would've had the most beautiful dark chocolate eyes and loose ringlets of dark hazel hair just like her mother. Rey would've been the most loving and caring mother. I would have tried to be the best father I could be. I would have treated her like a princess and loved her. I would've protected my daughter from anything and anyone. She would be the symbol between Rey's and I love. Those dreams would never come true though.