Fragile // Sequel to Torn

10. |

// Ethan's point of view //

"What about Ashley?" I ask when we get to the front veranda. What just happened with Jakob consumed me so much I forgot about her. It all seems too surreal.

"I called her when I decided I wasn't going," Jakob replies quietly as he unlocks the door. This thin layer of awkwardness is sitting over us but I'm trying to break through it. "I told her it was a band emergency."

"I'm sorry you had to lie for me." I apologise, going quiet myself. I'm already feeling majorly guilty. She was supposed to be my best friend and I have totally backstabbed her.

"Look," Jakob sighs, turning around once we're inside the room. "Let's just go to bed now and in the morning, we can talk about whatever this is or is going to be."

"That sounds good."

Together we walk up the stairs in silence and I don't know what comes next. What even are we? We're at that awkward part where my room is left and his is right and we don't know how to say goodbye.

"Goodnight, Ethan." Jakob whispers, turning to me awkwardly.

"Goodnight, Jake." I reply.

In the end we end up in a soft hug that I enjoy way too much. He's the one to pull away, leaving me wanting more. I turn as he does and walk into my room.

My bed feels more comfortable than usual but that doesn't mean I'm able to sleep. I'm nervous for whatever Jakob and I work out tomorrow. Do I want to be with him? Yes, I do. But am I ready to let go of Kade completely? If I let Jakob go now, I'm not going to get him back. This is my leap of faith moment.

•••

When I wake up, I feel more refreshed than usual. I think I actually got more than a couple of hours sleep and that's good. Should I go to Jakob now? I check the time- 8:30. It's not too early but I'm not sure if it's late enough. I'm trying to remember what time Jakob usually gets up but I'm having a hard time doing so. My thoughts are discarded when the door opens and Jakob walks in.

"You're awake." He observes. I just nod and sit up, fixing my hair.

"I guess we talk now, right?" I decide to just get straight to the point.

"I've decided I just want to ask you some questions first... if that's okay." Jakob tells me hesitantly, sitting on the edge of my bed after I make room for him.

"Fire away."

"How long have you felt this way for me?" He asks bluntly. I try not to feel embarrassed but I have to look away.

"About a week. It started the first night after I found out about Kaleb."

"Only a week?"

"I figured that if you went on that date with Ashley, I would never get you back." I explain.

"Okay. The other day when we were talking, you said you weren't over Kade. If you're not over him, how is this going to work?" Jakob asks, gesturing from himself to me.

"I talked to Kade yesterday," I start, knowing this is going to be the hardest question. "After you left I went down to the beach and I talked to him... Well, I talked to the sky and basically... I said goodbye, Jakob, I've moved on."

"Why now? Why couldn't you have decided this a few weeks ago?" He asks, but his voice isn't accusing like it was when he said this yesterday.

"I already told you. It was Kaleb." I answer.

"So do you want to give this another go? Give us another go?"

"Yes."

"And what about Chris?" Jakob asks the one question I didn't have an answer to. I know what I want though.

"Don't tell him."

"What do I tell Ashley?" He asks, this one leaving me completely stumped.

"The truth?" I offer.

"She doesn't know anything about us or our past. We can't tell her. She doesn't even know I'm bi." He replies. I've noticed that the awkwardness has died down a lot and is almost gone. I'm really glad of that.

"Well you have to tell her something."

"Please, help me." Jakob turns to me now, his eyes actually kind of scared. I would be scared too.

"You could tell her it has something to do with your family?" I suggest.

"I can't lie to her about that! God, I did not think this through!" He starts to stress. I know talking about this now isn't going to do any good.

"Jake, look, it's early-ish and you probably didn't get enough sleep last night. Just come here and we'll sort it out later." I tell him.

He gives me a small smile and takes a breath before laying back on the bed. I wriggle down until my head is on the pillow. Jakob rests his head on the other pillow next to mine but keeps staring at the roof. He's on the outside of the bedsheets and I'm underneath, secretly wishing he was under here too, but knowing we won't move that fast. We can't move that fast. We both fall asleep like that.

When I wake up, Jakob is gone. I check the time- 11:20. Damn, no wonder he's not here. I get out of bed and slide off my track pants, replacing them with jeans. Next, I change my shirt and fix my hair. Once I've done that, I open the door and make my way down stairs. I find Chris and Jakob in the kitchen making something.

"Oh, look who woke up, Chris." Jakob teases. I catch him looking me up and down and when Chris isn't looking, I raise an eyebrow at him. He just blushes slightly and looks down at the bowl in front of him. I've really missed this.

"I'm glad you were able to join us," Chris says sarcastically. "We're making sausage rolls for lunch."

"Oh, that's what it is." I laugh. I feel like I'm in a mood 100 times better than the past few days and I know exactly why. Even though it might get messy soon, this is really going to help.