Fragile // Sequel to Torn

12. |

// Jakob's point of view //

I don't know what to do about Ashley. I'm torn between letting Ethan intervene or just letting it go. I thought I wanted her but now it's clear I don't at all. My brain was just so set on getting over Ethan that I was forcing myself into a relationship I didn't actually want to be in. When Ashley and I kissed, it felt good but I kept picturing Ethan. To get rid of that feeling, I'd keep trying to take it further and that day Ethan walked in on us, we had gone too far. I mean of course I was turned on but when Ethan walked in, for a split second, I was even more turned on. It was like he had come to join in or something. Then he started yelling and something inside of me snapped. I guess I just realised that he didn't like me and that he was just jeopardising my chances of moving on further. Then that night when he told me what was going on with Kaleb, I couldn't help myself. We kissed and it felt better than with Ashley, but of course I didn't see it then. I refused to believe it.

"Chris wants you downstairs." I tell Ethan, standing in his doorway.

"The funeral is Tuesday," he says suddenly. "And I'm going to see Mum tomorrow so I can help her prepare. It's being held at my house... I'm scared, Jake."

"Well, you're not going alone." I smile reassuringly, walking into the room and closing the door behind me.

"I need to talk to you about something." Ethan mutters as I sit down on the space he makes for me on his bed. I'm instantly scared but he's not looking at me in a way that would tell me I've done something wrong.

"What is it?" I ask. He hesitantly takes my hand and moves closer until his shoulder is touching mine.

"We need to stay 100% secret."

"Not even our parents?" I question, a little confused. I'm not disagreeing; I just don't understand.

"Especially our parents." He says quietly, resting his head on my shoulder. "I'm scared they won't agree with this."

I understand what he means and he's totally right. Things ended really badly between us and I'm not sure my Mum would be all for us getting back together.

"We're seventeen, Etho." I smile, resting my head on the top of his.

"What do you mean?"

"By the end of the year, it doesn't matter what they think anymore."

•••

Ethan's hands are shaking by the time we get to his house. The door is propped open so I can't do anything about it. I get out of the car and wait for Ethan to do the same. It's like old times: pretending like nothing is going on between us when literally everything is. I stand back as Ethan greets his Mum in a long hug. They only pull away as she needs to speak.

"Thank you for coming, Jakob," she says. I nod. "The chairs were just delivered and I'm going to need help setting them out."

Ethan and I help set out all the chairs in rows in the backyard. After about an hour, all of the furniture is set up. Ethan's Mum is in the kitchen making the food and I'm unsure as to what we're supposed to do next. Ethan has been quiet and it's killing me not being able to do anything. I follow him inside where he stops at the kitchen.

"Oh, baby, I need a favour... could you please go up to Kaleb's room and get his spare uniform off of his bed? I can't do it." Ethan's Mum asks quietly.

I watch as she fumbles around with the aluminium foil. Without thinking, I walk over there and take it from her hands, tearing off a sheet and handing it to her. I look up to see Ethan's smiling slightly, evidence or tears forming in his eyes. Then he turns and makes his way to the stairs. I quickly follow him, staying a little behind though. I'm not sure he's seen me follow him. I watch as he stands outside Kaleb's door, looking it up and down. He goes to turn the handle but stops. Then he starts crying. I don't waste any time in walking over there and wrapping him up in a hug. He sobs into me, letting me hold him together.