*Almost Broken* LRH

*October 22nd*

*Darcy POV*
Luke and I will watching TV and I started asking something when I realised was asleep. I sighed and got up from the couch. He was  asleep so he couldn't keep my mind of what happened yesterday. My head was a mess because of it and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I needed advice and I didn't know who to go to.
I was pacing around the kitchen and I don't want Lukes phone started ringing. I went to the living room and picked up to see who is calling it was Cameron.
"Hey Luke can you come over?" He asked once I answered.
"Oh, it's Darcy" I said
"Hello"
"Hi"
"so can you come over? I'm bored" he sighed deeply.
" he's sleeping right now"
"Oh can you come over? Will he be okay with that?"
"I don't know why he wouldn't be"
"Would you be okay with leaving him?"
"I actually need some advice right now and you might be able to help"
"I don't know about the advice but I'm good listener"
"great. I'll be there in 10,". I said and hung up. I quickly changed out of my pyjamas before walking to Cameron's.

When I got to his house I rang the doorbell and rocked back and forth on my feet  as I waited for him to answer.
"just come in!" I Opened the door and walked into his house. He ran down the stairs in just some sweatpants, his wet hair plastered to his forehead.
"Hi." He said breathlessly "sorry for the lack of clothes. I just got from the shower. I didn't think you'd get here so fast" his famous and lopsided grin was plastered on his face.
"I said I'd be there in 10 minutes"
"Oh well" he shrugged it off and started walking upstair.s I followed.
"Do you want me to shut the door...?" I Asked awkwardly.
"Sure" he shrugged. I couldn't help but stare at his muscles as they moved. I snap myself out of my days and shut the door. I sat on his bed and watched him search around for a shirt. Wow he was tan and muscular.  Really, really muscular and I got lost in trying to figure out how he got on that fit.
"Stop staring at me" he smirked.
"What?"  My cheeks flushed red when I realised I just been staring at him as I thought. "fuck, I'm sorry. I was just trying to figure out how you got so... Muscular"
"are used to play football and I go to the gym a lot to blow off steam"
"Oh" I nodded "that makes sense"
"Yep" he put down on the bed beside me. Now fully clothed."so tell Dr Cameron what's been bothering you"
"I need advice on school"
"well you're screwed because I still suck at school, too, you need someone smart. Like Luke"
"just listen to me" I sighed.
" i'm a good listener". He nodded as he lied back on his bed. I lied down next to him,  not caring about how awkward it might be.
"i'm failing all of my classes and I can't do any more, they said if I don't get my grades up they will have to hold me back another year.another fucking year in that awful place and I can't do that, I'd die, I think I might just drop out"
"Oh" he nodded."So what advice do you need?"
"I don't know. I just feel like Luke will think poorly of me and I think I'm stupid and weak"
"he wouldn't think that.He loves you"
"People hurt the ones that they love" I said blankly.
"Oh" he mumbled
"He'd have those thoughts and his family would judge me and I'm just all for it I wanted to drop out and just give up but I have to think about other people. I always have to think about other people" I whispered the last sentence to myself more then Cameron.
"No you don't. If you want to do something for yourself you be a selfish bitch and do it. You deserve to be happy and you don't have to please everybody"
"But...But I don't want him to think of me as a bad person," I choked out. "I'm already no good for him. He could do so much better than me but no, he stuck with  the stupid girl that has no money and
carries around a lot of baggage"
"That's wrong on so many levels"
"No it's not!" I sat up so I could look at him. "everyone thinks I'm so good for him but I'm not! They say just because I helped him to get better, they all think he deserves me because of a couple acts of kindness. Now he's better, no he doesn't need me that much but everyone is still praising me for a done in the past"
I covered my face in my hands so we can see how close I was to crying.
"Hey" he said softly, and sat up, putting his arms around me, "don't cry, yeah, he could probably do better than you but does he want to? No. To him you're the best girl in the world. He thinks everyone else's trash compared to you, you have your problems and floors but we will do. He doesn't care about your flaws though, he loves you more than anyone could ever love a person. I don't see how you don't realise that he'd never leave you for someone better"
I turned and started sobbing into stress, obviously startling him,
He soon realised what was happening and wrapped both of his arms around me.
"What's wrong? Did I say something"
" it's just everyone can see how much he loves me except for me. I'm so worried about him leaving me that I can't focus on how much he loves me"
"Well you've had a lot of loss in your life, it's normal to be worried about him leaving you"
"but I shouldn't worry about it. It's stupid. I am stupid"
"No you're not" he whispered."you might get bad grades but it doesn't make you stupid"
"I don't know" I cried. He hugged me tighter and rocked me side to side. I closed my eyes and took a deep breaths while I imagined it was Luke who was comforting me.I imagined that it was his noodly  arms around me as his lips pressed to the top of my head while he mumbled soothing things to me until I calmed down.
"I think my issue is that I know he loves me but I've had to the most important people in my life say that they do and then they leave me or  or abuse me.  I think that's kind of ruined love for me"
"Who were the people?"
"My parents my dad left me when I was four years old and my mum died an alcoholic and she never said she loved me once and just abused me while she drank alcohol"
"Well it's a good thing Luke is in your parents because it will be fucked up anyways he's not and when he says he loves you he means it"

"Thanks, cam" I smiled
He shrugged. "i didn't ready  do anything to help but you are welcome"
We were quiet for a while until he asked,"so are you doing to drop out?"
I sighed "I think so. I'm still worried about what people will think though"
"well fuck the people who judge you. It's your life and you can live it how you want. You know, you can get a job without graduating high school or college. It wouldn't be very good job but you can"
"if I dropped out I could get a job so I can actually have money"
"Yeah!"
" but I don't know where I'd work"
"my parents are best friends with the people who own the music store downtown so I could probably get you a job there"
I gasped."really?"
"Mhm" he nodded.
"That'd be so amazing!"
"I'll talk to them about it"
"Thank you so much!"
He waved it off "it's no big deal"
I grinned up at him into my phone started ringing. It was Luke.
"Hi!" I chirped.
"Hi, where are you?" His voice was groggy indicating he'd just woken up.
"I'm at Callums. I needed some advice.
"Why didn't you just wake me up?"
"Because... I just... Some of the stuff was about you"
"like what stuff?"he asked nervously.
" it was nothing big. I was just talking about dropping out of school and how you think of me afterwards..." I trailed off.
"Oh" he whispered "what do you think I would think?"
"That I was insignificant or something"
"I wouldn't think that"
" I know that now."
"can I come over?"
" yeah of course"  I answered but then realise I should probably have asked Cameron. "wait hold on."
I turned to Cameron. " can he come over?"
"Sure"
"You can come over" I said into the phone.
"Okay"
We exchanged goodbyes before hanging up.
"is he okay?" He asked.
"I don't know he didn't sound okay"
"Oh" he said quietly.
"Yeah..."
We sat and comfortable silence until Luke got there.
"Hi" he mumbled when he walked in.
"Hey." I smiled. Cameron smiled and nodded at him. Luke awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, staring at the floor.  I got and walked over to him.
" are you okay?" I asked
He shrugged.
"What's wrong?"
He stayed silent as he pulled me out of Camerons room.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
He sighed. " I just... Why didn't you wake me up and talk to me?"
"Because I had to get advice on what I should do about school and if I should drop out and I needed to know if you think of me differently and I needed an honest answer because I figured you'd lie and tell me you couldn't think of me in a bad way"
"I...I wouldn't think of you any differently."
I. Shrugged.
"I mean I don't think is the best decision and I'm kind of disappointed that you are just going to give up so easily but it's your life"
"so you do think of me differently?"
" no no of course not. I still love you and I still wouldn't rather have any of a girl but I just wish you'd try"
" oh. I would try but I can't. I can't and I don't want to. It hurts my head and causes me stress and the school doesn't even matter any more. I'm not going to college so what's the point?"
" what if you want to go college someday?"
"then I'll just have to regret this decision and move on"
" but d'Orsay I'm probably not going to college for awhile say how are we going to support ourselves?"
"I can still get a job they'll  be shitty but they will be jobs and you can go to college when we get settled in where we are going"
"I guess that's okay"
"i'm sorry" I sighed "I just can't do it anymore"
"Yeah"
"What's wrong?"
"I just really wish you'd actually tried that this is okay, it's your life, also we should start thinking I'm going to think of you in a bad way I love you and-"
"all because you love me doesn't mean you won't judge me or disapprove of the decisions I make. Just because you love me doesn't mean you can't do anything to hurt me. Love isn't a shield or Boundary from hurt"
"I I don't want to hurt you"
"see, you don't want to but you still can. I didn't want a bad life but that's what I got. You don't want to hurt me but someday are going to. It's inevitable. I love you but I'll hurt you. You love me but you'll hurt me"
" I know that people who loved you  have hurt you but that Doesn't mean everyone will"
"I don't think you realise that's just my mind set. Everyone has left me or theyve hurt me I'm just waiting for you to do that"
"people have left me too you know"
"They didn't leave your purposefully."
"Well, yeah but"
"Exactly, you just don't understand"
"what do I have to do is show you that I won't hurt you? What do I have to do so you realise I'm not going to think of you is a bad person?"
"I don't know"
I choked out, "that's the scary thing, I don't know there's nothing anyone can do to change my fucked up mind"

Aha omg :/ hope you enjoyed