Emma and the town (once upon a time/agents of shield fanfic)

Chapter 18

Months have passed and I'm still stuck on Asgard. I started to notice the things Loki said were true. I always did have that nagging voice in my head. Telling me things that seemed wrong. And Odin did stop my life days before my 16th birthday. The voice wasn't as bad anymore but still there.
Quit staring at me like that love. Loki voices into my mind. I wasn't even paying attention but apparently I was looking right at him as my mind trailed off into dream land.
Sorry. I think back and blush.
     "Brother. If you two are going to speak, speak out loud." Thor booms in his deep voice. Me and Loki laugh.
      "Emma, how bout a walk?" Loki says. He was reading my thoughts wasn't he? Yes I was. We need to talk. now. He demands in my head. I nod and follow him out the door.
     "Emma, you need to stop thinking of this tale. It's just a legend. Or that's how it's supposed to be. One thing that helps the monster is knowing of it. Names and thoughts are powerful. Especially for you."
    "I know Loki. It's just, I notice the tiny hints of it now. I can't stop. Sometimes my body does things Emma James doesn't want to do. It's the beast isn't it?"
     Loki nods. "I knew this would happen. Why must your voice be so beautiful. Every word you speak makes me want to do as you say."
    "Loki, I'm a danger. Maybe my life should be reset again so I don't hurt anyone. I can start over, stay on Asgard."
     "Emma, this isn't the first time you have said this to me. Last time I agreed, but I can't lose you again. What if you don't come back to me this time? Father had to kill you last time so I could see you. I love you to much. Every life you have had I have been in it. I have loved you in all of them and I have watched you forget and start over. It isn't fair for either of us." He says and he leans in before I have time to react and kisses me.
     As soon as his lips meet mine my lives fly in my mind. For hundreds of thousands of years. Me growing up, running into Loki, falling in love, turning into the monster, being captured, starting over. It's a never ending cycle. I can see all of Loki's heartbreak, all of his joy when I come back, all of his tears as I leave again. I see myself  screaming at him how I wish I could just die, his heart shattering because he was the one that told me of my past. I see lives pass before my eyes, the same storyline but different names, places, worlds. The gods had tried so much to get the monster taken care of. And I suffered so much. I see Odin speaking to Loki about how this is the fates way of punishment for his actions.
     Finally it gets to the battle of New York. I see it in a new light now. Loki is fighting the avengers, always asking Clint about me when Clint was under mind control. Seeing me for the first time and losing it. I see him crying in the plane that we have him captured in because his love was on the other side of the glass not recognizing him, worse, trying to kill him. I see Thor taking me aside and asking me to go easy on him. I see Loki looking at me one last time as Thor makes him go back to Asgard. I see the tears no one noticed.
    We brake apart from the kiss Tears on both of our cheeks. "Loki, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish we worked."
     "Emma, I'm sorry to give you my burdens and pain." I shake my head and pull him into a hug.
    "It's ok Loki, we'll make this work. I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that. New York must have been awful for you."
      "Emma, Daniella, Susan, Jaci, Julie, Rebecca, Jackie, Lucy, Gwen, Mary Jane," Loki starts saying each name I have ever had one by one. Each time Loki says a name he kisses my cheek in a different spot. "....Karen, Mary, Aunreinn I love you."
      "That name. Aunreinn, that's me. My first name. My first life." I say and I can see the life I lived at that time. Loki nods and pulls me into another kiss. As soon as our lips meet again I know that I never want to leave Loki's side. How could I forget time after time Loki's love. He honestly cared for me. Odin will tell him that my life being restarted over and over was the fates punishment for him because of what he does, but I think Loki's love for me is what causes him to do what he does. Never has anyone seen Loki so calm, sweet, and peaceful. Except for me. I've seen him this way for years and years. Maybe one day, Loki will find a cure for my monster. Until that day though, my life will be restarted, every time I make it to 16 with out a cure. My journey will go on, and Loki will always be by my side. Fighting for me.
       This is my story for Coulson, for S.H.I.E.L.D, for Storybroke, for the Swans, I'm sorry I won't return as the girl you all grew to know and love. But I promise, one day, I will return.
With love,
                    Emma James
(P.S. Thanks for the great life)