Broken Frame (Ereri/Riren)

Just another day

I jolted awake with a shrill cry and sat up in my bed at the speed of light. My eyes darting back and fourth in my surroundings as I clench my chest as if it was going to calm my rapidly beating heart.

After a few more moments of Looking around in the gentle shadow cloaked area that was my bedroom, I sighed out in relief and flopped back down onto my pillow with my hand still clutched to my chest and my other hand running through my hair which was wetted some from my now cooled sweat.

It was that same nightmare again... The reoccurring one about the secrets of our old basement... The one where my father was a psychopath...The one where he's holding the severed body parts...

Every dream is different somehow..They start out the same, look the same sound the same and feel the same up until I find the basement.. My dad always had a different body part of different men or women and each seemed to have died a more horrific death from the last.....

But never has the dream ever been about my mother...My very much alive mother who was presumably making breakfast in the kitchen due to the sounds of pots being set on the surface of the counter and the sound of taps running....

I don't understand how I keep getting nightmares about different people when in reality I only watched my father murder one person right infront of me....Right before beating the ever living shit out of me...

It was an image I could never get out of my head and I feeling I could never shake off...Even now that I'm 16 years old... I've become well...Mostly mute.

I don't talk often and when I do my voice is barely above a whisper. My mother , bless her sweet heart is always trying to make conversation and make me smile but...It never works..

The only thing that makes me smile now is the cool sting of my razor to my gentle flesh as I drag the object across my wrist or forearm..

I enjoy my own self mutilation because It keeps the voices and figures at bay.. It keeps me smiling.. it keeps me content enough to get out of bed every day without much of an issue and It helps me get through school with low but passing grades.

After a few more moments of panting and calming myself with the thought of my future rendezvous with my disturbingly soothing security object that was my razor, I groaned out and dragged my sluggish self out of bed.

Rubbing the sleep out of my bagged eyes, I walked to my wardrobe to find what clothing I was going to wear today.. I sighed softly and tapped my chin as my eyes scanned over the different fabrics hanging from their steely hold.

"Sweater..."
"Sweater.."

"T-shirt..."
"And oh...Sweater."

I mumble to myself as my hand raises to run across all of the clothing and pushing them away from eachother slightly to take a look..

Eventually I found the only decent piece of clothing that wouldn't drag any attention to me at all at school today.

A grey v neck t-shirt that I could wear with my black zip up hoodie...Though the hoodie always pissed me off due to the string that goes through the edge of the baggy hood is longer on one side than it is the other.

I sighed heavily as I grabbed the bottom of my pajama shirt and lift it over my head before slipping it off of my arms and tossing it over to my very unmade bed...Which hasn't been made in about a week or more because why would I make my bed all neat if I'm just going to make it messy all over again later?

There's no point. Exactly.

Though my mother would always argue with me and nag about.

"Eren it makes your room look decently tidy!"