Caught Like A Fly

13

*Rain's POV*

Cole was shot straight through his ribs. I dislocated my knee . Mom is fine. Dad won't speak.

I lay beside Cole. He lays in the hospital bed holding me. He lost a lot of blood. He is leaving today.

Mom is filling out papers. I stare out the window drawing circles on his chest. Dad just sits in the corner with his head down.

"You always have been the bestest friend to me. Then we became siblings. Now we are closer than ever. I don't know what I would do without you." I kiss his cheek. "Love you too sis." He says.

"Time to go." Mom says slowly rolling in looking drained.
Dad has a hangover from drinking him self senseless last night.

And all because of me. I'm So stupid. I screw everything up. I could avoided all of this. I should have never talked to that man at the park. When I was younger and my mom took me to the park he stalked her. She always told me to stay away.

I didn't instead we became friends. Till one day he killed my family. And I was left alone in this world scared with all of these phobias and disorders. All cause of I didn't listen to my mother and do what I was told.

All my life I was told I deserved what life has thrown my way. All the beatings from the public schools. Trying to kill myself. All the times I have failed and life laughed in my face keeping me trapped in this never ending hell.

What is death anyways. Do you go to the so called heaven. So you end up as a ghost and watch life go on without you. Does nothing happen and it all ends.

To be honest I feel bad for Cole. He has found me dying. Bleeding out, over dose, starvation, jumping attempts, and the time I tried to hang myself a day before we were adopted.

Cole has always protected me. He has kept me safe. The only times he wasn't there was when the girls would gang me up in the bathrooms.

He cleaned my cuts. Then their brothers would try to do the same to him. Only it didn't work out so well for them in the end.

I don't know some how I always felt like I was holding him back. He could be famous. But all because of me he is stuck here with a bullet wound in his ribs cracking two of them. He almost bled to death.  He Could have been shot in the head. And all because of me...

What's so special about me. I'm not important. He needs to let me go. I'm keeping him from being himself.

"Sis please don't cry. Its not your fault. Thongs happen and you can't always blame yourself." I smile and squeeze his hand. "Hey come one let's go home." I say smiling. Fake smiling. To change the subject.

We walk to the car. He clearly has something on his mind. Dad has sunglasses on and reeks of whisky. Mom is pale and tired. She seems hollow. Cole has a look of anger and confusion on his face.

And me. I'm simply broken.

. . .

We pull in and stop to see a heartbreaking sight. Charlie lying dead on the side of the road. Dad jumps out of the car and runs to the dog. The back half of his body flat. The other end is cut up and oozing blood.

I cover my mouth and go inside. I sit at the kitchen table and put my head in my hands. Damn it. Why can't we be happy.

. . .

That night nobody spoke. Not even me. And I never shut up. Dad poked his food around. So did I. Mom and Cole ate slowly and silently.

"So you need a dress for the wedding." I look up and moms eyes are closed. "Good thing we have a week and a half to go shopping." She shakes her head. "Your father will be gone in 6 days. The wedding is in 3. We're going tomorrow."

"WHAT!?!?!" Cole says slamming his hands down on the table. "I finally get a father and then he leaves!?!? You no you could die!!! I could never see you again!!!! What about. Mom!?!?!"

Dad stands. "I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR MOTHER AND I DO KNOW I COULD DIE!!! BUT IT'S WORTH THE RISK!!!"

"ENOUGH!!!" I yell standing. "Just stop this is useless. WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE NORMAL INSTEAD OF BEING MORE FUCKED UP THAN WE ALREADY ARE!?!?! GOD!!!!!" I scream throwing my chair and storming off. I go out back and slam the door. I sit in a wicker chair and watch through the window as dad and Cole continued to argue. Mom sat there.

Not speaking a word. Not even existing. Just there looking at her hands that were closed in her lap.

Dad and Cole get in each others face chest to chest. Cole pushes him. Dad just stands there. "You don't know a God damned thing about me." Cole says walking up the stairs.

I walk inside and run to my room. What have I dooone.

I sit in the corner closer to my closet. I lay my head against the wall. I pull out my I pod and listen to music.

'I heard a knock upon my door the other day,
I opened it to find death staring in my face,
The fear of  mortal stalking still reverberates,
Everywhere I go I drag this coffin just in case.'

I let out a large sigh and close my eyes. I'm So tired.