The Feeder

Packing Away Memories

Packing Away Memories

The thought of leaving the forest, my home, disturbed me at first greatly. But, now that I know how my mother feels about life and the love-struck curse I carry on, I feel courageous to find true love and leave here. To go fight for my right to live, to prove my mother wrong, and to carry on the family name.

Inside me, deep down in the cold, slow-paced heart of mine, I quivered with anxiety and sadness. The reason; what if I don't find "him" and marry no one... I will not give in to the powerful feeling of desperation and depression which weakens me every second I grow older. I will fight, I proudly stated to myself, for life is precious even if I do not have enough strength to carry on.

As soon as my mother walked out of my room, closing the door behind her, I grabbed my hiking back-pack from inside my twelve-foot mahogany closet, quickly tossing it onto my bed, and grabbed a few things from my closet; sweaters, shirts, pants, shorts, socks, and my jewelry box.

You may be asking yourself why a jewelry box was in a closet when it should really be on top of a bedroom counter. The reason for this is because this jewelry box contains the ten carat Victorian ruby locket which my great, great, great, great, great grandmother passed on as a family heirloom. (It's a mouthful to say that many "greats" without forgetting how many I said!)

Also, the jewelry box contains the sapphire encrusted gold tear drop necklace given to me from my parents when I was born. The form of the necklace symbolizes the drop of new life added to my family's history... both necklaces have a high level of importance to them.

So extremely high, that, if I were to loose either one of them, I would probably be disowned by my mother. My father wouldn't care as much since my mother carried about family heirlooms since they were of great value to explaining my family's history.

I would be heart-broken if I were to loose one of the two necklaces... I'd probably cry myself to sleep every night afterwards just because I accidentally lost them...

As soon as I grabbed my jewelry box and placed it inside my hiking back-pack, along with the rest of the stuff I had thrown on my bed, I grabbed my long, fleece, maroon red raincoat along with my dark blue denim biker coat. There's a very short story behind me receiving that jacket... one, which is not at all, hard to remember.

When my mother was looking for her soul mate, my father, my mother wore this jacket. She was at a mall in the state of Oregon. I do not exactly remember where, for instance what town, but hopefully I'll meet 'him' like that.... hopefully.

Well, I quickly tossed my jackets into my back-pack. As soon as I packed everything into my hiking back-pack, I faced the giant mirror that lays across the wall and walked towards it, looking into my eyes. All I saw was fear, pain( as if I am suffering), and dark flashes of light. I don't understand how there can be dark flashes of brown light in my eyes, since light is a combination of different colors, but there was.

As I walked closer and closer towards the mirror, the flashes of dark light grew into dark, smudgy shades of dark black, then brown, and lastly gray. That is when I realized I was having a flashback... one of me looking into the very mirror I am looking into now. The only difference is that I was either 7 or 8 years old.

In this flashback, I saw myself touching the mirror, looking into it for something.... me. A second later, I lost the memory. I wanted to cry so badly for I don't remember my childhood at all. That wad my chance to see what happened...

"One day, I'll remember my past childhood... today, unfortunately, is not that day." I quietly spoke out loud to myself as I turned away from the mirror and walked over to my bed. I am, now, filled with sadness and pain I saw.

I quickly grabbed the back-pack from my bed and gently tossed it onto the floor. I grabbed my lace bed covers and quickly went under. Tomorrow will be a long day for me, I said to myself, therefore, I must get some rest.

It took me half an hour to fall asleep. Damn sunlight. It's just to bright...

Anyways, packing for my leave was quite easy compared to the "leaving" part. I can't imagine leaving this place, the place I've lived my whole life. But, I do very much wish to be on my own for once. And once I leave, I must find him or it will be to late for this curse is a ticking time bomb.