Pools of Emerald (frostiron fic)

11.) The Fallen Angel

This chapter contains trigger warnings. (I swear this whole story won't be depressing! Bear with me!)

Within the hour, Tony had already gotten Pepper into bed. "I've- missed you." Pepper gasped between kisses. Tony smirked.

"Oh have you." She mumbled back something incoherent. "Well you should show me how much you missed me." He growled flipping her over onto himself.

                                  .    .    .
Once Loki made it back to Stark towers, it took everything he had to not throw up. His palms sweating, heart in his throat. He looked all around the place for Tony until he decided finally to check his room. He paced back and forth in the hallway hoping his nerves would calm down. He continued to pace for the next several minutes before he snapped himself out of it. "Just do it." He whispered to himself. He brought his hand up to knock and stopped. He took a deep breath in and held it and quietly forced himself to knock. He waited for a few seconds and there was no answer. His heart seemed to stop and he knocked a little louder to which he still had no answer. He sighed. "Maybe he's asleep, I should leave him alone." He thought to himself. And as if to argue with himself he regained his mind, "this can't wait he needs to know." Loki opened the door almost too aggressively "Anthony I need to tell you something, I lo----" and that is when he saw it. Something that will forever be etched into his mind. His mouth nearly dropped to the floor. "Oh god I'm so sorry." He abruptly turned out of the room and fled.

"Loki!" Tony shouted, sighing right after.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Pepper raised an eyebrow, quick to get off of Tony.

"I'll explain later ok?" Tony trailed off not nearly as embarrassed as he should have been.

"Well just giving you the heads up, they make doors with locks for a reason." Pepper couldn't help but chuckle.

Loki briskly wandered through stark towers desperately to get the hell outside. He was hardly able to see, fresh tears in his eyes fogging his vision. That's when he ran directly into Steve.

"Whoa." Steve jumped, startled. He looked directly at Loki the second the tears he had been holding back fell from his eyes. Loki stood there for a brief moment, long enough for Steve to say something. "Hey are you ok?" Surprisingly enough Steve had expressed genuine concern. Loki, embarrassed brought his gaze to the ground and quickly shuffled out of Steve's way and sped his pace up again, anxious to get out. Once he was outside he couldn't help but throw up. His heart fell through his stomach and he felt dizzy. The world around him was spinning, but it wasn't a good spinning anymore. He wiped his mouth off and walked as fast as he could without running. He didn't know where he was going but he wanted to be as far away from here as possible.

Steve had followed Loki and from afar could see him walking away from stark towers. He had planned on silently following him. He had to at least make sure he was okay.

The tears that fell weren't tears of sadness anymore, they were tears of pure anger. It burned through Loki's body like a forest fire. It took every ounce of his being not to scream as loud as he could. "I can't do this." He mumbled to himself. Heart still painfully plummeted in his stomach, Loki continued to walk until he came across Brooklyn Bridge. He found a place to sit and let his legs dangle through the rungs in the bridge. The cold breeze was soothing as his body still felt on fire. He noticed his fingertips were blue, surprised he didn't turn completely. He muttered to himself "none of this is worth it. I've got nothing to live for anyways. Nothing." Salty tears fell from his eyes which burned red. "I have nothing left to lose anyways." The more he looked around, the more mentally unstable he became. "I wonder how it would feel to jump. . . Would I drown? Or would the impact be so horrific I die right on the spot." He laughed a little bit, slowly losing touch with reality. "Drowning would be more enjoyable, I hear it's euphoric. But a hard impact would be quick and straight to the point."

Steve was only a few feet away from Loki at this point. He remained quiet and unseen as he didn't want to startle him. "What the hell is he doing over on the bridge?" He asked himself. He could vaguely hear him speak. All he had to hear was the word drowning to know he had to do something. He quickly ran over to the God and spoke softly. "Loki. . . What are you doing out here." Loki slowly turned to face Steve, still planted firmly on the ground.

"Steve, so nice to see you on this lovely evening." Loki laughed hysterically. His mind was a mess of emotions.

"What's wrong, are you okay? What are you doing? Loki? Talk to me."

"Why should I? Why did you follow me? Shouldn't you be out fighting crime or back with the other avengers talking about how much I deserve to be dead, but no one will do it because of Thor?" He hissed. "So don't worry I won't hang around. I'll make sure to make everyone happy by not existing anymore. I have nothing to lose anyways." As he said that he stood up moving closer and closer to the edge of the bridge.

"Loki that's not how it is. What are you doing?" Panic ran through Steve. Loki wouldn't actually jump. . . Would he? Steve approached Loki even closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. Loki cringed at his touch, as if it were painful.

"Stop. Just leave me be. I'm not going to let you of all people stop me from doing what needs to be done. Go back home, go to bed and forget I ever existed. Just make sure you tell my brother I will say hi to Mother for him."

And with that, Loki jumped.