I hope you're happy with your indifferent ignorance.
I never imagined it would lead to this.
I never imagined I'd be filled with such fiery rage.
Rage but everlasting sorrow, right under my skin, seeping through my pores like red hot lava when all I could do is look on and wonder why!
...Was it even worth it?
It was all a mistake.
My emotions were too strong.
I was too weak.
Why did I get so attached?
So obsessed with the very thought of sharing something- anything with someone just as broken as me, because they would never really know the real me and I wanted, craved, needed a soul to touch but it happened to be you.
The stars just happened to align in such a way...
It was meant to be.
I played the fool because I didn't know what to think.
Being cautious as to not let things go too far because I thought I had everything under control and enjoyed the attention for all I wanted was a friend to confine in which to my surprise and utter destruction... Happened.
It happened and it went too far...
We were both low. Picking up eachs others broken fragments and trying to rearrange the puzzle pieces just to get a glimpse of the bigger picture. You saw too much. Too much of a distorted pretty white lie created by yourself.
Or maybe it wasn't. This self doubt and these trembling fingers is why it all started in the first place. I allowed myself to get close to a stranger. That was a mistake. It didn't have to be like this...
You'll never understand.
I thought I could trust you. I thought you were my friend. I've seen only the utmost disrespect tonight. All I could do was laugh. Who was I to trust you to understand and respect me? I thought I was enough. Your friend. I thought wrong.
Friend. What even is the meaning anymore. My heart constricts at the thought. I promised myself I would be strong. Not let you get to me again. I was at such a low point because of the trickery and misunderstanding that I was caught between my own self destruction and hatred and I called for action. I didn't know what to do.
I cry.
