A Normal Book

12 - Crying

This book is not in tears. The author is. Hello, imaginary readers. I know, I know, it's been a while since I updated. Sorry, what's that? Oh, I see, you don't give a shit because I mean nothing in your life. Well, I'll tell you a story before retreating back into the abyss of loneliness I tend to dwell in. For the first time in what seems like a lifetime, I like someone. When I see her, my minuscule heart flutters. Unfortunately for me, she is super straight and super repulsed by me. Then again, who isn't? Anyways, I was lying in my bed and contemplating my life choices when I thought of her and realised that she is my worst mistake. I ache to tell her how I feel, but I know that would ruin our already delicate friendship. Sometimes I look at her and have to physically stop myself from trying to kiss her. I suffer in silence as I watch her with her friends (I'd say "our friends", but I doubt they like me), me shuffling behind them, only able to analyse without interception. I try to distract myself, but people simply aren't interested in me. My specialties appear to be falling miserably in love with straight girls, almost having panic attacks while talking to people, and making exceptionally bad jokes. So I combined my first two skills and began to speak to an old friend in my head. The result? A lot of silent crying while simultaneously listening to My Chemical Romance. But for the girl who will probably never see this, je t'aime. Et tu le sais même pas que je t'aime.