Apology ? [ Short Stories √]

For Her Sake

• Must it be? It must be.•

With my soul scarred with lesion, stab and pain, I couldn't let her know.

Being lonely even among the crowd was my favorite pass time, pretending to not heed to anyone's saying was my habit. I was born this way, born to bury down all my feelings in the deepest pit of my heart. I was told to never reveal my emotions, because people only need a hint about your weakness to bring you down.

She was the dark blue sky and I was the lightening streaks. Even though it was scary to have me around, but I illuminated her world. I was her beauty, her tears when she cried, her pain when she was hurt.

But, she fell in love with a person who pretends to be a monster, who pretends to be emotionless, who pretends to be complete without her.

I loved her, present tense, I still love her.

But I gathered every rose she sowed on my heart and burned them up in the silent corner of my heart.

I couldn't do this to her, I can't reveal how madly I am in love with her. I'm so in love with her that it drives me insane.

How wouldn't I love? She gave me everything I was meant to stay away from. She gave me happiness and in exchange took away all those dreadfully depressing nights. She watered the thorns in my heart and grew roses of every color. She gave me something I was afraid of, she gave me love.

But I can't be with her, can I?

With me, the only thing she will receive is pollens from the roses she grew. Those pollens will only hurt her and make her allergic; to me.

I don't want to tell her that I love her, I don't want to gift her flowers and propose her with a ring clad in fancy suits. I don't want to open the door for her, I don't want to caress her body and feel her lips hover over mine, because I don't want to hurt her.

I'm evil, a devil's advocate. How can I give her love and happiness without hurting her? I can't, I couldn't.

Because before being my lover, she is my best friend. She is my favorite human in this entire world. She came into my life like an oasis to the thirsty, she was kind of a illusion. She was too perfect.

I loved her.

I love her.

But I had to do it, I had to keep her with me, because she gives me happiness. I know she is happy too, because even after being slaughtered in cold blood by me, even her dead body is smiling.

I turn over in my bed and make love with her fearlessly because I know, nothing can hurt my girl anymore.

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