waifu: no???? waifu: it's good news waifu: i think
hubby: you think???
waifu: yeah waifu: i may or may not be pregnant
hubby: wait what hubby: pregnant hubby: like you have a small human growing inside you hubby: and it's mine???
waifu: thats kinda what pregnant means babe waifu: and who else's would it be???
hubby: idk man hubby: like an accidental insemination like jane the virgin
waifu: no waifu: i am pregnant w/ ur small baby child waifu: u kno waifu: when a man loves a woman v much and he sticks his cockolini alfredo into her pasta bowl and then a ravioli comes out of her pasta bowl 9 months later
hubby: are you fucking kidding me hubby: cockolini alfredo??? hubby: pasta bowl???? hubby: ravioli?????
waifu: yes waifu: anyway waifu: are you happy about this news or?????
hubby: ofc hubby: i'm overjoyed hubby: but i can't believe you just referred to a penis and a vagina as a cockolini alfredo and a pasta bowl hubby: and a baby as a ravioli
waifu: oKay let it gO m8
~
6 MONTHS LATER
currently on: instagram
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@athenadaddario: welcome to the world Phoenix Ryan Daddario. i am v v glad i didn't take matt's suggestion of calling you ravioli. 57,682 likes
@matthewdaddario: why tf are you on instagram you just gave birth #nochillathena
@harryshumjr: THE FIRST TINY LITTLE MATHENA BABY IS HERE I HAVE DIBS ON GODFATHER
@athenadaddario: then get to the hospital fam??? @harryshumjr also don't tell me how to live my life @matthewdaddario
@kitkatsmeow: i'm still lonely isn't this awkward
@emeraudetoubia: unless you're planning on being a cradle robber??? @kitkatsmeow
@domsherwood: okay now that u hoes are married its ur turn to be this cute @albertorosende @irisss
@irisss: go fuck urself ugly @domsherwood
@albertorosende: i thought we already were??? awkward??? @domsherwood
