Bullet Holes

Chapter 7

The speeding bus seemed slow compared to the pace of his life. He'd let himself manipulated by two strangers and killed the only person who believed in him. He remembered how vicious he'd been when he killed his father, his mother's reaction was anything but what he expected from her. From his encounter with people, preaching with sinners he'd realized what his mother had been doing. She'd been helping him channel his anger onto her so he wouldn't inflict that pain upon others. He hadn't thought of his mother after he was taken up by Father Magnus. He'd hated her, for accepting the brutal treatment of her monstrous husband, for weeping when he ended her misery, for throwing him out when he did the right thing. His real life seemed distant when he looked into the serene eyes of Father Magnus, the whole world immaterial. Even though Father Magnus never chided for what he did, he once said something relating to that matter without not as much mentioning it. As the cold wind brushed his face, his mind took him to that day without any difficulty.

It was evening and they were taking a walk towards the park, him desperately trying to keep up with Father Magnus's pace.

'Why are we going to the park, Father?' he asked out of breath.

'You said you wanted to learn about God. That's the purpose.'

'But we're getting further away from the house of God, isn't it there we're supposed to learn about him.'

'The Church is merely a place for congregation and for worshipping in groups. I think the outside world with a bright sun and a carpet of grass and surrounded by your fellow men is better than an enclosed building with wooden benches. The Church was created by men, this place is created by God, you can sometimes feel his touch.'

'I don't understand you.' he said finally catching up with him.

Father Magnus said no more. He found a place under a tree, spread a cloth and asked him to sit down. He further asked him to read a part from the Bible.

'You're reading the story of Jonas.' He said after sometime. 'Jonas gave up his duty and took a ship. But the ship was met with a heavy storm. The shipmates believed the sea was angry because of one particular person and they drew a lot. And Jonas's name came the first three times. What do you think that is, son?'

'God's will.'

'Yes, indeed. God was angry because Jonas ran away from his duty. The shipmates threw Jonas into the storm and . . .'

'He was swallowed by a whale.'

'Yes, do you know how big a whale is?'

He shook his head, embarrassed.

'A whale is so big its heart is as big as a small car and its veins are large enough that you can swim through it. Don't you think that it's a marvel of God?'

'Truly.'

'Yes, Jonas was trapped inside a gigantic being with no way of escape, yet he didn't lose hope. He repented and prayed to God for help. And the whale spat him out on a piece of land. What do you learn from this? This shows even how insurmountable your problem may seem as long as you have faith, God will deliver you from it.'

He nodded taking in the light of the new knowledge.

'Why don't you continue reading?'

He resumed his reading but was soon interrupted.

'What do you think of sinners?'

'They ought to be punished. They're the worst of us. They even lead the best of us astray.' He said without taking his eyes of the words.

'Don't you think it's bigger than that. Close the book and listen to me.'

He closed the book and faced the priest.

'That sinners aren't just about bad people and criminals. That it's something else. Every year hundreds of criminals are hanged to death and yet crimes burgeon and atrocious acts continue to be done to people. You know when I look at a sinner I don't see a bad person, I see a victim. They're all victims you see, victims of social turmoil, poverty, injustice and what they're condemned for is the things they had to do for survival. We've to go deeper to understand this. We've to spread the light of knowledge and understanding if we want to end crime. We should rescue people from their dark prisons of ignorance and from the despicable hell where the society condemns them. That's our duty.'

This was just a memory for him, something he will let slip through the recesses of his brain and let it fade away faster than the black smoke being ejected by the bus.

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