Silverstone: Perfection is Not Enough

Chapter 16

a/n: So, I changed the part where Lucy says Jess has four weeks to train Arrow. It's not long enough, plus I have another idea up the line... ;-) Anyway, she now has until the weeks after the Christmas holidays. So, about nine/ten weeks.

"Yes, Jess! Very good! Lovely canter!" Mrs Knight praises, smiling as I pull off a flawless walk-to-canter transition after coming off a leg-yield, Silver's elongated canter barely raising the dust off the sandy school floor. 

Tabitha shoots me a smile as I join the end of the ride. 

"Kennedy?" Miss looks at Kennedy, who's wearing a dark expression on her face. 

That's right, I've been moved in front of Kennedy. It's a good thing, I suppose.

But whenever I feel happy about it, I just remember her words again.

"Some people don't nessecarily want you to pass these tests."

What did she mean? 

Kennedy rushes into a walk, Apple nearly going foward into trot. They turn too early down the three-quarter line, leg-yield too quickly, and there are at least three strides of trot between Apples walk and canter.

"Improvement needed, Kennedy," Mrs Knight purses her lips. "Next!"

The lesson carries on, and for the first time in days, I feel happy with how I'm riding. When we're done, Miss calls me over again, but this time, it's for a far more positive reason.

"You've clearly been working hard, Jess," she smiles. "Well done."

"That was great!" Rose exclaims as she meets me in the barn. 

I grin at her, and deuce that mentioning that the last time I rode Arrow was four days ago. 

It's Friday, the last day for Bertie's deadline. And I just can't bring myself to speak to Lucy. 

Besides, do I really need to? I mean, yes, I'm struggling to cope with everything. But Lucy must get a lot of that, right? It's a good school, so it's tough. 

"Okay, Jess?" Bertie asks, appearing at me shoulder, startling me.

"Um, yeah," I reply, and quickly lead Silver into her stall. I untack her, run a brush over her, and quickly out the tack away before joining Rose, Tabitha and Bertie on the way back to Valegro. 

When we get into the house, Bertie and Rose immediately head towards the living room to fight the rest of the house over the TV remote. Tabitha joins me upstairs, and sits down at her desk to do her science homework. 

Me, I grab my English homework, scribble down the first few words that pop into my head, and sigh despairingly. Tabitha looks over at me worriedly. Then, she sighs too. 

"Look, Jess, that essay isn't even that important. And you're really stressed. Do you want me to write one out for you, and you can copy it up later?"

I look over at her gratefully, and feel like crying. "Thank you so, so, so much, Tabitha."

"It's not happening again," she grins, and points at the end of the desk. "Just dump it there."

"Thank you."

She shakes her head. "Jess, I need to tell you something." Looking at her serious expression, I immediately sit down on the bed opposite her. 

She takes a deep breath. "Okay. Well, the thing is, I guess I know what it's like to fight for a horse."

I wait for her to continue. 

"When we first got Leona, well, we weren't very experienced with horses, back then, me and my dad," she says. "We bought her online, and never had any contact with the owners. She was brought to us via delivery men. And let's just say, she didn't look like what she had in the pictures."

I bite my lips. I've heard about stuff like this before.

"She was so thin, and so scared of everything. We tried to call the owners, but dad has already signed the papers. She belonged to us. So we did the only thing we could. We kept her."

She sighs sadly. "God, she was so bad those first few months. Dad said we should sell her again, or give her to a charity. But the thing is, I fell in love with that horse." 

She smiles to herself. "And she did get better, in the end. And I was so happy, because I knew it was me who had made her better."

Tabitha looks at me seriously. "So I know what it's like when you need to fight for a horse, even though it would be so much easier not to. I guess our fights are kinda different, but I know why you need to do this. So I'm on your side."

I just sit there. I'd assumed that Tabitha had got Leona of some high-class breeder from Holland or something. It hadn't stuck me that she might have just bought her off someone online. 

"Well," I say when I've got my voice back. "Um, thanks. For everything."

"It's fine," she smiles. "Go get your horse."

I nod, and I do that. 

•  •  •

Arrow's shifting restlessly in his stall when I get to the barn, and my heart sinks. It's going to be one of those bad days. 

Sure enough, when I tack him up, he won't stay still, and I can't mount in time for him moving to the side of the mounting block. 

Eventually, I manage to get him to the outdoor, and ride. 

Or I try to. Because he just won't do as I tell him. He bucks, he canters on the spot, he walks backwards in circles. When I nudge him foward, he lunges into a fast, strong canter, and when I pull him back, however gently, he jerks to a sudden stop, leaving me to go sliding foward onto his neck. 

In the end, I get so annoyed that I make my biggest mistake. I kick him hard on the sides, my ankles bouncing off his stomach. 

He leaps foward, pulling me into a nervy, rushed gallop around the school, broncing and twisting. I just about hang on, until Arrow throws one last giant leap, twisting his back legs up high into the air. 

And, once again, I go flying, and hit the ground wheezing, the breath knocked from my lungs.

This time, there's no Lucy to rush over to me, no Tabitha to catch Arrow. He carries on galloping round the perimeter of the school, until he notices that I'm not on his back, then tries to catch some strands of grass through the rails of the fence. 

I stay on the ground, and I burst into tears.

All the pent-up emotions of the last few days, all the stress, grief and worry comes pouring out, and I cry and cry and cry. I can't control Arrow, I can't balance him and Silver. I just can't.

I stay on the ground until I hear someone unlatch the gate, and approach me over the sand. I look up to see the sad face of Bertie, her eyes worried and sad. 

"Oh Jess," she says. "Come on. I'm telling Lucy." 

a/n: It's getting more tense!! 

Thanks so much to each and every reader!! Xx