Silverstone: Perfection is Not Enough

Chapter 15

My life is amazing.

Well, that's what I've been trying to tell myself. And I know that it is true.

I have great new friends, a scholarship at the best equine academy in England, and the opportunity to ride some incredible horses. 

But the thing is, precious metals have to be polished regularly, or they'll go dull. That's sort of what's happening to Silverstone. 

I've only been here for two weeks. But I'm struggling; it's the most stressed out I've ever been in my life. Balancing Silver and Arrow is not easy. I'm managing, but just about. On the days when I school Arrow, Silver goes badly. When I've been riding Silver, I can't control Arrow.

And on top of it all, the homework from all my normal lessons is piling up. 

My friends are amazing. Rose, Tabitha, Bertie, and Liam, I guess. They've always got my back, but the thing is, they don't need to prove themselves to anyone. They really do deserve to be here. They have the money, the horses, the backgrounds to prove it.

I'm way out of my depth. 

I'm not drowning yet, but I know I will be soon, if I don't do anything.

•  •  •

"Jess! Jess!"

"Hmm?" I yawn, and raise my head from the stack of books, wincing when my neck clicks. "What time is it?"

"It's half twelve at night," Bertie says, sighing. "Jess, what are you doing?"

"Learning French verbs," I explain, stretching. "I have a test tomorrow."

"I'm in your class."

"Oh, um, yeah, I know."

"Jess, please, you're struggling. You need to say something to Lucy." She bites her lip and looks at me sadly. "Look, maybe you should give Arrow up. Silver's an amazing horse."

"What?!" I sit up and widen my eyes. "Are you joking?"

"It's not worth you being this stressed out."

"It is!"

"Look, if you don't say something to Lucy by the end of this week, I will."

"No, you can't!" I bite my lip so hard I wince. "Please, Bertie. Don't."

Rose rolls over in her sleep, and I hold my breath until her breathing steadies again. Bertie reaches over and gently closes my French book. "This is this stupid thing about you proving yourself, isn't it?"

"Huh?" How... how does she know?

"Tabitha told me," she sighs again. "Come on, Jess, you deserve to be here as much as the rest of us."

"I know," I say as confidently as I can. "I'm just not giving Arrow up."

"Look," she starts. "If you don't find a way to balance this thing by the end of next week, I will tell Lucy." 

I know it's not worth arguing, so I just turn off my desk light and climb up the ladder to my bunk. 

"You're overloading yourself, Jess. You need to relax. You're biting off more than you can chew."

•  •  •

"Okay, class, time's up! Pass your books to the front and you can go!"

I know I've probably messed this test up, I'm useless at French. Luckily, I managed to learn something from my late night study session. But I'm still sure I messed it up.