Silverstone: Perfection is Not Enough

Chapter 17

I sit with a mug of hot chocolate in my hands, staring down into the creamy liquid, and try not to cry. I'm such a loser. I couldn't even manage to cope when Lucy gave me a second chance. 

Well, I've blown that now. I can pretty much forget having Arrow as my horse.

When Bertie found me, she took Arrow into the barn, asked a stablehand to put him away and put an arm round my shoulders. "Jess, this is stupid. You're going to end up having a panic attack or something."

Now, I'm sitting opposite Lucy on an armchair in the Valegro lounge. Luckily, there weren't any people around the 'street' from any of the four houses at six o'clock in the evening, and now it's past seven. Kind if obviously, it's a school night, so everyone except me and Bertie are in their rooms. 

"Thanks, Bertie," Lucy smiles at her. "I just need to speak to Jess now. But thank you for doing the right thing."

Bertie squeezes my shoulder and heads upstairs. Lucy sighs. 

"Jess, I so wish this hadn't happened. But I get it now, and I feel terrible for putting you under so much pressure."

"It wasn't you!"I argue. "It was me, I just couldn't cope."

She shakes her head firmly. "Look Jess, I know how it feels to have to prove yourself." 

I look at her curiously, taking a sip of my hot chocolate. 

"Well, like a lot of the teachers here, I actually came here as a student," my eyes widen at this, and she grins. "Well, Silverstone has that magical sparky thing, doesn't it? You can't live without it."

Somehow, despite how stressful the last few weeks have been, I can honestly nod in agreement. It really does have that 'sparky thing'. 

"But I didn't exactly pay. Like you, I was the scholarship student."

My mouth literally falls open.

Lucy was the scholarship person? Really? But she's so good with horses! She must have been able to afford at least a bit more than me!

"I understand what it's like for you Jess. Never really feeling like you match up, always having to prove yourself. I'm not going to say you don't have to, because it's not going to change your opinion, I know that."

At last, someone gets it. 

I just need to prove that I'm good enough to be here. I need to prove myself to Kennedy, to my friends, to Lucy. 

"But Jess, I can see that you have way to much going on to handle right now."

"Please don't make me give Arrow up," I plead. "Please, he is improving. Slowly, but he is."

Lucy raises her hands up in a gesture of silence. "I know he is. Which is why I'm going to help you." She winks cheerfully. "I have friends in high places. Is tomorrow good for you?"

Muted, I nod. Tomorrow? It's Saturday. What's happening tomorrow?

"Okay, great. You just keep tomorrow free. Oh, and Jess," she says, as she starts to stand up. "I don't want you to ride Arrow for the time being. You can see him, don't worry, but don't ride. And don't worry," she quickly adds, seeing my face. "I'm not making you give him up. Just remember, be ready by ten tomorrow." She pats my shoulder and leaves the room, leaving me speechless. 

Okay, well, I guess I have plans for Saturday.

Somehow, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I put my mug in the kitchenette sink, and trudge slowly up the carpeted stairs. It seems like I've been here forever; that first day when I ran up these stairs with Bertie seems ages ago. It's home, now. 

And as I open my bedroom door, and I'm engulfed in the comforting hugs of my three best friends, I realise that, the darker the night, the brighter the stars seem.

•  •  •

"Did she say where you're going?" Tabitha asks as we lie lazily in bed, appreciating the fact that it's Saturday, and we don't have to get up for at least another five minutes. Well, I do, at least. 

"Nope," I reply. "Just to be ready for ten."

"Well," Rose starts. "Which ten did she mean? Cause if it's the a.m. one, you've got ten minutes to be downstairs."

Just as what Rose said starts to set in, the door swings open, and there stands Lucy, dressed in jeans and a shirt. She looks around the room, clearly amused. "Well, Jess, I would say that now is a good time to maybe get up." She laughs, and then looks at Tabitha. "Tabitha, what did you say that you'd like to do for a job?"

Tabitha looks mystified, but answers. "Um, I'd like to work in natural horsemanship."

Lucy nods, apparently satisfied. "Great. Well, we have room for one more. Jess, you'll need to wear jodpurs, but you can just wear jeans, Tabitha. Now, get up!" She shakes her head exasperatedly, and steps out if the room, closing the door behind her.

Immediately, I attempt to climb down the ladder of my bunk. Attempt. With a mixture of sleepiness and knowledge that I have ten minutes to get dressed and ready to go, I slip, and slide down, ending up in a heap on the floor.

"Well, breaking news, guys," Rose announces. "Jess' dead. Can I have her bunk?"

"Hey!" Tabitha climbs down her ladder, and smacks Rose in the arm. "Don't you like sharing with me?"

"Yeah," Rose nods, "but I want a top bunk."

"Jess, are you okay?" Asks Bertie, her voice muffled by laughter and her duvet. 

"Finally, someone speaks out for the invalid!" I groan. "And, dear Beatrice-" 

"Never call me that again-"

"I'm fine, yes."

"Jess!" Tabitha ducks into the bathroom, a heap of clothes in her arms. "Get ready!"

"Why do you think Lucy said Tabitha could go?" Wonders Rose.

"She mentioned natural horsemanship," Bertie thinks aloud. "Maybe it's something to do with that."

I quickly pull on some grey jodpurs, and a blue polo top, before sliding on my short boots, and grabbing my own helmet and fleece. Tabitha emerges from the bathroom, wearing a green checked shirt and jeans. "Let's go!"

"See you later, guys," Bertie says. "We'll just be here for a few more days."

Tabitha and I laugh as we  head downstairs. Lucy meets us in the hallway. 

"Hi girls! Come on, then, let's go!"

We follow her to the stables, where a shiny silver land rover is parked, with a state-of-the-art horse trailer hitched to the back of it. A stablehand is just finishing doing up the past bolt, and the horse inside gives out a loud whinny. 

"Just finished," the hand says, brushing down her polo top and grinning ruefully. "He's a handful, but he has calmed down."

"Thanks, Leanne," Lucy nods, and the hand sets off to to some other stable job. "So, do you want to see who it is?"

I peer over the half-barrier into the trailer. A very familiar, dark coat and big, liquid eyes greet me. 

"Hey boy," I greet, letting Arrow sniff my hand. 

"Lucy, why are we taking Arrow somewhere, and where are we going?" Tabitha asks, but Lucy just laughs, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 

"You'll see."

a/n: Where are they going?? Thanks for reading, I love all of you so so much! Thanks for getting this story to 1.3k reads!!! (Wow, I never thought I'd say that :-D). Thank you!!!!!!