Up and Strumming

Feel Good

"So what's a kid like you doing out around here?" Joe asked as he pulled out a cigarette. Ari waited and watched as he lit it up and took a puff. He looked over at her, still waiting for an answer. Ari nervously bit her lip.

"Well...I don't know. It's because...well, I just..." She shook her head. What was up with her stuttering? "It's just because...I don't know, because I can?" She said unsure if herself.

Joe looked out in the distance. "I understand."

Ari looked up at him. "You do?"

"Yeah, course I do." Joe took another take, his chest rising as he did, and blew out, the smoke swirling around them, surrounding them in a ghostly atmosphere. "Sometimes we do things, and we aren't even sure why. I could drink twenty bottles of beer, throw up, walk outside the pub and start dancing to the music playing in my head, not giving two shits of what any passerby thinks."

"But...why?" Ari piped.

Joe stopped blowing and pulled the cigarette from his lips. He turned to Ari, staring deep into her eyes. Once again, Ari felt the sensation it was only her and Joe in the world. Everything disappeared, and the only things that mattered were what they did. Joe leaned close, the closer he got, the faster Ari's heart sped. Her breathing grew heavy and she felt faint. What was going on?

He stopped. About five inches from her face. He lifted a finger and poked at her heart.

"Because it feels good." Once again, they were sitting on top of a trailer. He dropped his hand, and took another puff, looking over at the world again. Ari sat still, her eyes wide and mind wider.

"What?"

Joe looked at her and smiled. "It feels good. Right?" He adjusted how he was sitting to face her better. "Haven't you ever done something and just felt so happy after doing it, but don't even know why? It's just feels good! Every moment of every day, we do some action, for ourselves or for others, that feel good, even when we don't realize it." He sat back and paused to take another puff. "Happiness comes in many strange forms, and the thing is, we don't even realize the toll in takes on someone's life."

Ari sat motionless, staring at Joe with big, bright eyes. She let his words sink in, absorbing their meaning into her brain.

"...once, on Tessa's birthday, we sent her out grocery shopping. When she came back, we threw a surprise party for her." Ari gave a small smile at the memory of Tessa's shocked face. "She almost cried. She was just so amazed and...happy."

Joe smiled.

Ari's eyes lit up. "And...and once, when we were walking in the park, Paloma found a baby bird on the ground, so she found the nest and put the bird back with its family." Ari felt a warmth grow inside her. "And I remember when Mick and Viv let me go with them on their date, I went to the bathroom because it was a long drive, but when I came back out, I stayed back a bit because they were looking over the docks and just standing there, holding hands. And then Mick would put his arm around Viv and just kiss her, but not like in a slobbery-dog way. More like..each kiss would be his last one..."

Joe listened ever so carefully to what Ari said. He nodded along and smiled. "You remember these things, things that didn't even really have an action towards you yet..." He looked at her. "..you feel good about it. You feel good about these memories because even thought they didn't effect you...they impacted you in a way that as far as I can see, your happiness comes from having a family that loves and cares about you."

Suddenly, he took her by the hand. "And hopefully, that family will expand." Ari stared at him. The world was dark and silent. The only light she could see was in his eyes. A light she had long forgotten what it had looked like. And now suddenly, here it was before her. And glowing as brightly as she remembered.