When Pluto Met Mars | Riarkle

Girl Meets Sad

"And then, Lucas said my obsession with horror movies was weird, but he's going to have to watch them anyway. Because I'll make him! Hear that, Huckleberry?"
Maya was sharing stuff about her movie date with Lucas the other day at the lunch table.
I force a laugh and stuff some hard shell taco in my mouth. Tuesdays are the worst, except for the taco lunch. The tacos are delicious.

I pretend to be too preoccupied with chewing so that they won't think I'm acting weird. Because I'm not acting weird. Am I acting weird? I don't know.

"Well in my defense, my uncle's house in Texas does seem to be haunted and hearing anything about horror movies is completely terrifying to me!" Lucas holds Maya's hands across from him. Don't let it bother you, riles. You've got this. I love yo-
I can't do this. This positivity thing worked out great in middle school but things are different now. I can't go on pretending like everything is still the same.
After 3 bites of my taco I decide that I'm just not hungry anymore. Plus, I'm so scared of gaining weight because then my volleyball uniform will fit me weirdly and then I'll be the ugly duckling of the team. I'm already sorta the ugly duckling because the volleyball team features beauties like Carmen and Lucy. Everyone else is just so much prettier than me. It's why Lucas chose Maya. Maya is way prettier than you.
Don't get fat. I want to turn off the thoughts in my head but I can't and it is overwhelming at times. Relax, relax. I chant to myself as I get up to clear my tray.

I walk back to the table and see that Maya is too preoccupied talking to Lucas.

I sit down and pretend to be busy on my phone, but all I'm doing is refreshing my snapchat stories.
"Hey, Riley." Farkle smiles at me, and sits down.
"How has your day been?"
Farkle runs his slender fingers through his soft brown hair. He sits back on the plastic chair.
"It's been good," I say meekly. "I'm just a little stressed about school that's all."

"Really? Because you don't seem so good? What's goin on?" Farkle stares at me, giving me his undivided attention. I like the way he does that, the way he could just devote his entire attention to me. Farkle really is something special.

I sigh. "I don't know, I just don't feel good and I don't know what to do."

Don't cry, don't cry. Shut up, crybaby. You're such a brat. This is why everyone hates you. You're annoying and sensitive. Farkle is showing you that he cares about you and now you wanna dump all of your dumb worries on him. Shut up, Riley.
I hate my inner monologue so much right now. I hold back tears and gulp. Why am I so sensitive?

"Seriously, I'm fine though!" I say, lying through my teeth.

I fake a big smile, because that's what I do. That's what Riley Matthews does. I am happy and I care about my friends and I don't want to bother anyone. You're supposed to be happy, remember?

"But also seriously, you can always talk to me about anything, whenever!" Farkle squeezes my hand. His hand is warm in my mine. "You're not annoying at all, you know. I care about you a lot, Riley." Farkle says, smiling a little, like he just read my mind or something. He has a way of doing that a lot.

Before we know it, the bell rings which means back to class.
Yay, I sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good afternoon, class!" My dad greets the class as we file into 4th period history.

"Today we're going to continue talking about Buddhism!"