The Girl

FORTY-FOUR: A YOUNG TED MOSBY

"They say that there's always a heart that's meant for me, well I give mine up too easily. How am I supposed to know what's mine when I run and hide every time?"

SONG: A YOUNG TED MOSBY

ARTIST: SINK IN

My dad clapped me on the back and I lunged forward, forgetting just how strong my dad was. He smiled softly at me and glanced over at Brianna who was making hand motions as she spoke to Bryana and Brenda.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was in ripped black jeans, black heeled lace up boots, my red Johnny Rockets shirt, and her leather jacket. The entire time I just wanted to cross the room and push her against the wall to kiss her.

My grip tightened on the water bottle in my hands. I was so pathetically in love with her.

"Your mum would have loved her," Andy spoke softly, still being unable to even mention my mother without choking on his words. He brought his hands together in front of him. "She's everything she's ever wanted for you. I hope you know that."

"I don't think she wanted the kind of girl that gets drunk while listening to the Cranberries," I snorted and then frowned at my own admission, embarrassed. "I don't think she's anything mum wanted for me, honestly. She would have loved her, but I don't think she's anything she ever hoped and dreamed for me."

My dad frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I know mum better than you know her," I told him and glanced over at my fiancee. "She wanted the typical white blonde babies for me."

Andy snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. I opened my water bottle and then brought it to my lips. My dad turned his head to look at me and then crossed his arms over his chest.

I followed and bit down on my lip, closing my eyes. I was hungry, but I knew that Brianna and I would be telling our entire family that I had asked her to marry me. I swallowed and excused myself from my dad and then walked over to Brianna.

"Babe, can I talk to you for a second?" My voice must have sounded scared because she didn't even excuse herself as she took my hand and walked away with me. We walked upstairs and locked ourselves in Ashton and Bryana's room.

"What's wrong?" She asked and tugged me closer to her. I lifted my arms and cupped her face gently. "Baby."

"I just--I want to be alone with you before everyone knows our secret," I whispered and pressed our foreheads together. "I don't want us to belong to everyone else."

Brianna frowned and raised her arms, wrapping them around her neck. She nudged her nose against mine and licked her lips. In a perfect world, our favorite song would be playing and we'd be attempting to dance--it'd be perfect. She was already perfect. Everything right now, it was giving me anxiety and I was sure I was going to pass out.

"Luke, your nose is bleeding," She panicked and lifted her shirt, pressing it against my nose. My breathing became abnormal and it felt like my bones were jelly as we slumped to the floor.

"Stop," I whimpered and pushed her away wiping at my nose frantically as I stared at her. "I'm just freaking out because this is all I've ever wanted and I just--I'm not ready to share."

"You're not going to fucking share me," Brianna exhaled, clearly upset with me. "Did you take your medication?"

I felt tears running down my cheeks as I shook my head. "No. I forgot."

She frowned at me and reached for her bag before taking out a water bottle and my pills. I swallowed and pushed her hands away, leaning forward to kiss her. I didn't understand what it was about having her this close that made me feel better. She dropped the pills and crawled onto my lap, not once pulling her mouth from mine. Her fingers threaded through my hair, pushing through knots and tugging on the strands as I pulled and tugged on her jacket to get it off.