Social Experiment

37 | Call It Off

Warning: chapter will probably make you rip your hair out. Vote & comment!
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There was plenty for me to think about on Sunday. The glaring question as to why Luke was scheming to visit our father bit at me from our conversation the night before, and I knew that I had to talk to him about it again. And yet, all I could think about was Nathan. 

My mind had zeroed in on his answer when I asked why he kissed me. Because I wanted to. It was too simple, yet too chaotic. The fact that we were locked into our "fake dating" agreement only made the chaos thunder with promise of worsening. 

After a day full of lying in bed and contemplating the continuation of our arrangement, I decided that I had to call it quits. The smiles and the kisses and the hand holding- all of it was messing with my emotions. I had completely underestimated how bad of an idea it would be simply because I wanted to piss Thomas off. 

So by the time lunchtime on Monday rolled around, I had a game plan ready. I was intent on being calm and casual about the whole thing so he never realized why it was all too much for me. I would tell him that we accomplished what he wanted, and if we didn't want our friends to know about it, then we should end things immediately. 

Nathan caught up to me while I walked to my locker with my chin held high and an indifferent expression on my face to guard the fact that all of the whispers following me actually irritated me. He fell into step beside me and nudged my shoulder. "Hey Collins."

When I glance at him, I smile widely. A little too widely. "Hey Nathan."

I cringe at the overly eccentric voice that escapes my mouth as I realize that I was already failing at the whole 'calm and casual' thing.

Because Nathan was completely more observant than people give him credit for, he looks at me with his brow slightly furrowed and asks thoughtfully, "What's on your mind?"

We reach my locker and I'm thankful for the opportunity to busy myself with something. There were knots in my stomach already and I hadn't even gotten out what I needed to say. So I begin to put in the combination and watch the dial with false interest instead of meeting his gaze. 

"I was thinking about the whole fake boyfriend thing all weekend," I force causality into my voice and I'm mildly impressed by myself when I actually achieve it. 

To my surprise, Nathan perks up a little and admits, "So have I."

I was interested in what he'd been thinking about but guessed that he was going to have drawn a similar conclusion as I had. That, and I was a total wimp and knew I would get too nervous to finally spit it out, so I open my locker and tell him from behind the metal door, "I think it'd be best if we stopped now before your friends find out and things get complicated. We already accomplished our goal in Williamsport," I shut the door and finally meet his eye. "So we can go back to just being friends."

The words unfurled in a rushed mess that I practically spat out because of the tiny little pain I felt in my chest, right beside the vat of disappointment. Something flashes in Nathan's eyes before he covers it up and I see his wall go back up almost immediately. 

"Okay," He says, almost boredly, with remotely no emotion remaining on his face other than an uninterested expression. 

Unable to read him, I can't help but ask, "What were you thinking?" 

Nathan looks at me thoughtfully for a long minute before he looks away, down the hall instead, and says in the same bored voice: "I think that we should call it off, too. Before everyone finds out."