Social Experiment

46 | Toxic Thoughts

A thick, unsettling kind of silence hangs in the air that no one dares to break. I stare at my father and suddenly think, he doesn't even deserve the title of "father". From now on, he's Richard, and I never wanted to see him again. And then I thought, this is all Luke's fault.

I suddenly remember the conversation between Luke and I weeks ago, when he told me that he was racing to save up the money to go visit Richard. But now, seeing him standing in my living room, I felt a stab of betrayal shoot through me.

My fiery gaze shifts from Richard to Luke, who was sitting on the couch watching the whole spectacle, and feel hurt that my brother brought him here. "Luke," I try to say evenly, but it hardly works. "Can I speak to you? In private?"

Without waiting for his answer, I turn around and start to make my way toward the kitchen. However, before I can even take two full steps, I lift my gaze and I'm pinned by the serious expression that casted over Nathan's face. At his obvious concern, I attempt to muster a smile, but my lips barely turn up.

Nathan's warm hand finds mine and it feels like an anchor holding me down to sanity. Gently, he pulls me into the foyer by the front door, away from the scrutinizing gazes of my family members. I heard Luke shift out of his seat and mumble something to my mother and Richard, but my attention was on the worry pooling in Nate's blue eyes.

"Lauren," His voice is soft, gentle, almost cautious. "Are you okay?"

I nod despite the clear irritation that lit up in my eyes. I'm almost positive that he could read me like an open book. "I'm fine," I mumble lamely. "You can go."

Nate's brow pulls together slightly and he murmurs, "Are you sure?"

When I hear Luke's approaching footsteps, I nod quickly. "I'm sure," I manage a weak smile at him and a hurried, "Thank you. I'll call you later, okay?"

Very slowly, he nods while his gaze roams over my face, as if he were trying to catch me out. I can see it in his eyes, the way he doesn't want to leave, but he also doesn't want to put up a fight. I give him one last fleeting attempt at a smile before pushing past him and walking into the kitchen.

Luke follows me into the kitchen before he leans against the counter with a stoic expression on his face. My face twisted into a scowl the second he walked in, and his expression gave a little when he flinched at my demeanor. If looks could kill, then my glare would send him six feet under.

"You told me that you were flying out to see him," I hiss. "That I wouldn't have to see him."

"I never said you wouldn't see him," Luke defends strongly, just as stubborn as I am. "And I decided to fly him out to us instead. I thought it'd be good for you two to talk."

I laugh humorlessly. "You thought it'd be good for me? Yeah right. You brought him here so we could all make up and be some big happy family again, but I don't want that."

"Why not?" Luke presses, his voice thick with annoyance and determination.

"Because he left!" I shout because suddenly I'm no longer able to control myself. I take a deep breath. "He left us," I continue in a quieter voice. "Without a second thought. He was done with me, with you, and with mom, so he packed his things and left without saying goodbye. You can't forgive someone who leaves like that."

"You can if they come back," Luke points out stubbornly.

I shake my head. "He didn't come back, you brought him back. All those years he was gone he never once tried to contact us. Don't you get it? He didn't give a shit about us when he left."

"But he does now," He argues. I could hear the agitation in his voice, but more importantly, I could hear his insistent hope.

I let out a deep breath, overwhelmed with an abundance of anger and sadness and too many other emotions to name. I look at Luke, my gaze boring into his seriously, my expression going emotionless.