MagicAnimalClub: Happenings

27: Regrets

Joes POV

They say, you only happen once, enjoy this happening.
How am I supposed to enjoy this happening when I am brutally terrified, for my life, my girlfriend and my best friends?
David and I were fast asleep but woken up when two ladies, known as our partners, barged in the room, cameras in hands.
"You guys? When did you get back?!" I looked up from the carpet floor, catching Davids eye, who sat beside me. We just burst out laughing and fell back to the floor.
But it wasn't funny. I felt a rush of nausea within me, the feeling when you feel like the worst will happen.
I felt sick.
Not just a hangover sickness, an anxiety sickness.
"Jeez my head!" David moaned, clutching his head.
"Boys? How much drink did you take last night?" Asked Sqaishey, her hands on her hips while Nicole lifted up the empty vodka bottle and smirked.
I realised that my hand was still attached to a beer bottle, I merely let go of the bottle. It was empty, to my.. Delight? Satisfaction? I couldn't quite think of words,
"-too much." Was Davids only reply to Beth's question. I agreed.
"We drink to forget," David said, "we drink to try to."he looked at me,
"Um, I think we both need to tell you something." I admitted, gulping, feeling even more sick.
"But I might freshen up first." I said, standing up, I knew I was soon to be sick. So I walked quickly over to the toilets where I was indeed sick. I felt myself empty and for some reason felt so much better and healthier.. To an extent.
After a thorough brush of my teeth, I got changed into a t-shirt and walked out of the room. I felt some pain in my chest, it was quick and sharp, and very painful. But only for a split second.
I put my hand on my chest and gave it a quick punch before walking to the table.
David came down soon after, wiping his mouth with a tissue. I gave him a signal as to ask, were you sick? He nodded in reply before sitting down.
I sat beside Beth, I put my hand on her cheek and brushed her soft brown hair out of the way.
"Joe. What were you doing almost 100 miles away at half past eleven last night?"
I forgot, she could see where I am on the 'Find My Friends' app.
"Beth I-"
"Joe." She looked me in the eyes, "don't lie to me, I know when your lying."
I stared into her bright blue eyes, then to the ground. I realised Nicole was listening too.
I was confronted. There was no escaping the explanation.
I had to say it.
"Beth, I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm not gonna keep this from you anymore." I wiped my brow, "Finnballs not dead. He's supposed to be the leader, but he isn't dead."
"W-What?" Interjected Nicole.
"Well how did you know he was dead in the first place?" Beth asked,
"I- I killed him, he was dead. There was, there was no pulse he was dead,"
"You checked his pulse?" I looked over to David.
"He was dead okay, everyone knew it." David defended.
"How did you kill him?" Nicole asked. My heart thudded, I wondered if anyone else could hear the tense panicking of my inner self.
"That's not relevant." I insisted.
"It kind of is if he's not dead." Pushed Nicole,
"Love- please." Sighed David,
"Joe. Answer me." Ordered Beth with bold and threatening eyes.
I didn't want to say how I killed him, I didn't want to.
"I-" I stuttered, feeling physically sick again.
"Joe.." Beth put her hand on my shoulder.
"I- I cut his throat."
I recalled that horrible moment in my life.
I looked into Beth's horrified eyes.
"I'm sorry."
I felt that she wouldn't love me anymore, after how gruesome I made his death, and how much of a murderer I am.
I got up suddenly from my chair and left.
I walked into my room and closed the door. I put my head in my hands, wishing there was something enjoyable I could think about. But there wasn't anything on my mind except the fact that there might my another war, I cut someone's throat and my girlfriend would probably split with me because of it.
The door knocked.
It was David.
"Stamps c'mon." He said, closing the door behind him.
"She's right to leave me, I'm just a murderer, a violent murderer."
"Stamps," he said, looking into my eyes, "I've known Beth long enough to know that she won't give up on a man who loves her and was only doing what needed to be done."
I just stared into his bright blue eyes,
"David I don't know what to do anymore.. She's pregnant with my child... David I am not- I am not prepared to let her go. David.. I.. I love her."
David looked into my eyes, he pulled out the ring slightly, then put it back in his pocket. Trying to remind me of how strong our bond was.
"It was either you or him. And God knows what I would have done without you. Now get your act together and explain to her."

After a while he left, Beth came in straight after.
She walked slowly towards me with tears in her eyes.
She stood beside me.
"Did you hear us.." I sighed,
"Every word." She whispered.
"I'm sorry." I said,
"I know."
She gazed into my sunken eyes, her nose brushing against mine, my lips fitted with hers and she pushed me down onto the covers.
She lay on the bed and we cried while embracing and making love.
By mid day we lay naked in bed together, feeling where my future child would be.
We planned what the bedroom would be, a yellow room, with blue skirting and wooden furniture.
"I wonder what gender it is."
"It bet you it is a.. Girl." I said, but Beth thought it would be a boy.
"If it's a girl what will we call it?"
"I was thinking .. Emily." Beth said,
"And if it's a boy.."
"Danny." She said quickly, "I like Danny."
I smiled, "I like it too."

Today was going to be one of those days, were I spent all my time with Beth, but since it was David and Nicoles last day here until they moved, we decided to go out for dinner.

Beth wore a low black dress with a translucent black scarf. I wore a navy shirt, Nicole wore a black shirt and David wore a white shirt.
The children were left at home with their grandparents.
We knew that they would be in bed by the time we got back and we would only see them for a bit in the morning so we played with them for a bit before we left.