Squidward: Well... this is the end. [head falls on the ground]
SpongeBob: No, it's not, Squidward.
Patrick: [building coffins] It's not?
SpongeBob: Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! [patting Squidward's head] As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [they do the victory screech again]
SpongeBob: And besides, we have this! [pulls out a conch shell]
Squidward: What's that?
Patrick: Ohhh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something! Ask it something!
SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? [pulls the string attached to the Magic Conch]
Magic Conch: Maybe someday.
SpongeBob and Patrick: [giggling] Oooohhhh!
Squidward: You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?
SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes its advice before we do anything.
Patrick: The shell knows all!
SpongeBob: Oh, Magic Conch Shell, what do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest?
Magic Conch: Nothing.
Patrick: The shell has spoken!!
Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing![SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting down doing nothing]
Squidward: [growls] I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy![SpongeBob and Patrick still do nothing]
Squidward: [growls again] All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! [starts walking away in the Kelp Forest] But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... [laughs] sad... [laughs again] clowns. [laughs again. He begins to run fast and scared while panting] What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost! [trips and falls] Ohh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! [sees light] Huh?[laughing. He goes toward the light] I'm free!! Take that, SpongeBob and Patrick! [pumps fists in the air and starts laughing triumphantly but sees SpongeBob and Patrick] Huh? Ohhh... [falls on the ground]there's no way out of here. [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Patrick's head. Squidward is putting a pan over a fire] How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight? [steps on a bug]Ah... [puts the bug on the pan and walks over to SpongeBob and waves the pan over his nose] Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days. [walks over to Patrick] How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any. [walks away from Patrick] And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell! [shakes his butt in SpongeBob's face] If you had listened to me you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam...[moves back to Club Squidward] that tells you nothing! As if the answers to solve all your problems will fall right out of the sky! [laughs] Fall right out of the sky! [camera switches to an airplane falling out of the sky]Scooter: Dude, we're falling right out the sky!! We gotta drop the load! [presses the "Drop the Load" button. The airplane drops picnic supplies [food, blanket, table, plates, etc.] to where SpongeBob and Patrick are]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch! [victory screech. Squidward stares shockingly and the bug gets up and hits him with the stick. SpongeBob and Patrick eat. SpongeBob eats two hamburgers and drinks a can of soda, Patrick eats a turkey in one bite and drinks ketchup. They laugh]
Squidward: Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there.
SpongeBob: It's a gift from the Magic Conch.
Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious. [gasps] Oh! Smoked sausages! My favorite! [smells them but Patrick sucks them in and Squidward's nose too. He pulls his nose out] Uh, hey, uh, [laughs]SpongeBob, I... [SpongeBob eats a cookie as Squidward talks] you know I was just kidding around earlier and-and-and I-I-I mean I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and-and after all, the-the club's gotta stick together, and I-I mean... you know, I-I, um... [stammers]
SpongeBob: Squidward?
Squidward: Yeah?
SpongeBob: Once a member, always a member!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [clink glasses] To the club! [victory screech]
Squidward: Yeah. [mimics the victory screech, weakly] Now, uh, if you'll excuse me... [runs to the table with all the food] All right... What shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?
SpongeBob: Why don't you ask... the Magic Conch, Squidward?
Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail.[SpongeBob and Patrick pull the table away and block it]
SpongeBob: [gasps] Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization.
Patrick: [whispering] Maybe he's not a brother.[SpongeBob looks at Squidward wide-eyed]
Squidward: [chuckles] Hey, y-you guys have it all wrong. I-I love this, uh, piece of plastic. [takes the Magic Conch from SpongeBob] Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?
Magic Conch: Neither.
Squidward: Oh. Then how about the soup?
Magic Conch: I don't think so.
Squidward: Could I have anything to eat?
Magic Conch: No.
Squidward: No?! What do you mean "no"? I'm starving here!
Patrick: [takes Magic Conch] Here, let me try. Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
Magic Conch: No.
Patrick: Hmm... Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?
Magic Conch: Yes.
Patrick: All right! [vacuums in the sandwich and burps] Sorry, Squidward.
Squidward: Give me that! [takes Magic Conch] Could I have something to eat?Magic Conch: No.
Squidward: Could I have something to eat?
Magic Conch: No.
Squidward: Could I have something to eat?
Magic Conch: No.
Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?
Magic Conch: Try asking again.
Squidward: Can I have something to eat?
Magic Conch: [in a very insulting, sarcastic-like tone] No.
This is literally one of my favorite episodes of Spongebob and I forgot about itttt XD
Dedicated tooooo: AbbyBrown_1454
