We all know who these people are. They fit into 3 different categories that we all know and love kind of
1. Starbucks, Snapchat, Ugg boots/ Birkenstocks- These are the type of people that all sit in one section of the cafeteria, and at least once a week, one of their parents brings in Chipotle or something. Every single on of them has dated at least two guys, and has a crush on at least 4 of them. Well, except for the closeted gay, and there is always, and I mean always, one in each group of girls. 2. Super smart, grades are the most important thing in life- These people love english , are geniuses in math, and dominate in science. Along with being straight as a ruler.
3. Fangirl straight
This type of straight person is super into movies, tv shows, or anything with a straight romance in it. They ship all of the straight ships, even if a gay ship is cannon. Which can be annoying hearing them talk about they're favorite hot celebrity or endlessly talk about this ship that they love, and how it's meant to be... ugh.
Do you ever notice how when some group of people (of the same gender) are so straight that they act gay? For example, there's this group of super straight girls in my school, and whenever they are around each other, they get super touchy-feely and stuff. If i didn't know these people, I would think that some of them were just a cute gay couple, but no. And then there's the straight people that bypass the whole 'so straight that they act gay' thing and go straight (haha funny joke) for 'I'm so straight that I only touch a person from the same gender on they're forearm, but only when I'm laughing' type of straight. I happen to know a person like this, but I'll change their name for the sake of their privacy. I'll say that her name is Ms. s, because she's suuuuuuper straight. I learned this first hand, because I used to sit next to her in english. Another reason I'm calling her Ms. s is because she acts like a 40-year-old desperate soccer mom with at least two accounts on Ashley Madison. For example, one time in class I said "Crap", and oh boy did that release the wrath of Ms. s. She hit me in the arm and scolded me, saying things like, "We don't say those words!" or, "That's not the right thing to do!" I mean, she's really awesome and a great friend, but seriously?
Another really straight person I know is this christian boy that I will refer to as Mr. c, because he is probably one of the most christian person I have ever met. One time, I was walking down the hallway, and I almost tripped over my own feet. My natural response was to curse very loudly. But, as fate would have it, Mr. c happened to be walking down the hallway at the same time. So, as I was about to say whatever word was to come out of my mouth, he walked by, and this is what happened Him: *walks right past me
Me: sshhhhiiiiiiiiittttt Him: *horrified look, along with almost dropping whatever was in his hands at the time* Yeah, not my best moment.
YOU ARE READING
How to be politically UNcorrect
HumorThis is a book for all of the idiots out there who can't find out how to be funny the usual way: jokes. Fortunately for you, you have come across this book. So read on and you can become politically incorrect. Or un-correct as I like to say.
