Chapter 7 - Been You
Bea's POV
After ng klase na yon, I went straight sa canteen to have my lunch. Umorder na ko and then I went straight back sa upuan ko. I was eating at pinagmamasdan ko ang mga taong dumadaan. Ano kayang nasa isip nila? Masaya ba sila o malungkot? May problema o wala? Kaya talaga sa mundong 'to kapag selfish ka, di ka pwede dito. Kapag puro sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo, hindi ka bagay dito.
After eating my lunch, pumunta na ko sa huling klase ko. Kaklase ko si Matt dito. Close kami, eventually cause of thirdy, ofc. He smiled at me so I smiled back. The class went on smoothly. I stretched a little.
"Ah finally tapos na!" I whispered in my head.
Noong papunta na ko sa car park, Jho was calling.
"Beh punta ka sa BEG now na. Urgent daw." I dropped the call and headed to BEG as fast as I can. Pagdating ko dun nakita ko na mga teammates ko.
"Oh anong meron?" I asked.
"Okay since kumpleto na kayo. We'll join SVL this year. Para ma-enhance pa kayo lalo. Kaya starting next week training na ulit tayo. Ayun lang, you can all go back to what you are doing." Coach Parley explained to us. All the girls sighed. Kasi Friday na ngayon! And we only have 2 more days para magpakasaya. At dahil sakto naman na wala nadin silang klase. We decided na mag mall.
"Bagay ba sakin 'to beh?" Nasa H&M kaming lahat at namimili sila ng swimsuit dahil nag-pplano nanaman silang mag outing. At narinig ni Ate Ella yung tanong ni Jho.
"Nako, Jho! Wag ka ng mangarap, mahuhulog sa dibdib mo yan. Sayang pera, ako nalang i-bili mo niyan." Everyone laughed! Actually di na sila na-ooffend cause sanay na sila kay Ate Ella and she's been the happy pill of the team talaga.
"Tigilan mo ko, Ate Ella. Uso kasing mag share ng sikreto bakit ang laki ng iyo." Oh god these girls, I can't stop laughing! After all that chenes, nakabili din naman sila. Mama was calling.
"Hello, Ma?"
"Bey, uwi ka muna. We need to discuss something to you." No, not now. I coughed.
"Okay, Ma." I bid my goodbyes to my teammates and headed back to Loyola. Binabagalan ko talaga ang takbo ko. Sana nga masiraan pa ko dito. Ayokong makarating ng bahay. Well, sadly I did. I went straight to the dining since doon naman palagi, with my poker face I sat down.
"Bea, its about the land. We need to sell it." Mama said. Damn, same old topic.
"Ma, how many times have I told you na ayaw kong i-benta yung land. Why force me to do so?" I am controlling my temper, hindi ko kailangang bumagsak dito. Wag dito.
"It would be a big benefit for us, Bea. May ipapatayo na kumpanya doon, isa sa mga bigatin nating clients. And besides, matagal pa naman ang ano mo sa college. We could buy you another land, much bigger if you want."
"Ma, its not just a land. Its Lola's land. And thats the only remaining memory of her here in this world. Tell your clients that the land isn't for sale. That they should find another land, at hindi ko kakagatin kahit magkano ang i-offer nila. You should know better, Ma. Sorry, I have to go."
They were calling me. Nope, didn't bothered to look back, the last thing I saw was my Papa saying that hayaan muna ako ni Mama. Went straight to my car, drived a little, kung saan medyo malayo sa bahay. And there I started crying. I don't know how Mama can take all of that. I just couldn't sell the land for Lola was a big part of my life. Kaya sobra akong nag dwell nung nawala siya.
I wanna go somewhere...somewhere far from here. And I know exactly the place but I need one person who could understand me. Can't call, Jho kasi for sure she's busy studying for her quizzes tomorrow at medyo late nadin. Fuck saan na ko pupulutin nito.
I had no choice, I know exactly who could take away the pain for a little while. I'm still crying, when I called him. Asked him if he's free tonight, he said yes. I told him the place where we should meet.
And its somewhere in Rizal. Oh, I missed this place. Seaside siya. Umupo na ko sa usual place na inuupuan ko whenever I'm here. I just couldn't help but cry. Then someone patted my back. It was Thirdy carrying my favorite pampawala-ng-kalungkutan na pagkain. Double Dutch ice cream. I smiled. He seated beside me. Noong nakita niya na na ubos na yung kinakain ko, there he already asked me.
"What happened?" Kinwento ko sakanya yung nangyari. Teary eyed nanaman ako. He knew that moment what he should do. He hugged me. I missed his scent. Ang bango niya talaga.
Tinanggal niya yung pagkakayakap niya sakin and looked straight to my eyes. Inayos niya yung buhok ko and he wiped my tears. He leaned towards me...he kissed my forehead. Long enough to feel him. He hugged me again and whispered.
"I missed you, Bea." Tears started falling again.
He hugged me tighter as if he doesn't want this night to end. For this night was forbidden. I know after this, parang wala lang uli.
"I missed you too." Sinabi ko yan, ng walang kalakas lakas. Dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na lahat ng inipon kong lakas, naubos. Nauubos pagdating sakanya. Kahit hindi tama, kahit maling mali 'to.
I felt na nababasa yung tshirt ko. He's crying. I faced him. Looking at him, staring at his beautiful face, I can't help it because I knew, I knew that maybe this would be the last time that I could get any closer to him. I wiped his tears. I also kissed his forehead. Long enough so he could feel the pain that he left with me. When we parted. He was shaking.
"I'm sorry." And there he broke down, and I knew he also didn't wanted what happened before, but that sorry wasn't for that. Its like saying, "Sorry may Jeanine na ako."
And that moment I realized that, he's now far away from me. And I'm still stuck here because it has always been him.
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Believe me, habang sinusulat ko 'to naiiyak ako. Ewan ko kung bakit. Dami kasing hinagpis eh chos. Hahahahaha vote & comment! And also tell me if naiyak kayo. 🤗
Love, j. X
