It Was Raining

four

"I'm so scared..." I shook. I had known Jasper basically my entire life but he still made me nervous. "Maybe I can wait this out,in four months I'll be over him right? Acording to scientists that'd be a yes right?"
Cally laughed, "You're overthinking."
"How do I not overthink this?"
"Just breathe okay?" I took a deep breath. you can do this,Winter. I nodded to myself and put my headphones in. Watching the darkened road go by calmed me somehow and soon my anxiety decreased.
--

The car came to a stop in front of a big house. I gulped, my anxiety sneaking back,"How about tomorrow I do this?"
Cally shook her head,"Let's go babe,you can do this."
She jumped out of the car and slammed her door shut. She then pulled mine open and yanked my hand pulling me inside.
Music blasted from every direction. I never liked parties but tonight I had to at least try. Suddenly though, as someone randomly pushed a beer into my hand I didn't want to try anymore. I stared down at the can until it was swiped from my grasp. I heard the can being opened as I looked up. "Ya know, You have to open it right?" Jasper smiled at me.
"I didn't want to open it?" He raised an eyebrow. "S-sorry i-its just..." I took a deep breath remembering Cally's words..where was she? "Don't worry I'll watch out for you okay? Just take a drink,nothing bad will happen" right.
•••
"How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly..I could sing you a song but I don't think words can express your beauty..." I changed the song suddenly hating all of my music. Don't get me wrong, I love Sleeping With Sirens but that song wasn't my favourite at the moment.
i rested my head against the window pane. The rain was slowing down a bit but Jasper was still here and I didn't like that at all.
Why did you go to the party,Winter? Why did you take the beer? Why did you k-"Honey? You okay?" My mother asked looking worried. "Of course" I lied, smiling. I stood, "to the bathroom" i said.
I locked the door behind me pulling my sleeves up. I had stopped. I looked down at the scars, since I stopped they were only faint but I knew I'd have scars forever. What was I going to do? How would I explain it? I started crying.

Breathe.

What happened to 'I'll never leave'? Where was Cally now? Hanging with popular people,whispering behind my back.

And Jasper...why'd he do it? Why did he say all of those mean things? I just wanted to go back,to before the party, to before the names and bullying. I wanted my happy days back.

I sighed,wiping my eyes. Hold on, we can do this. I nodded unlocking the door and sitting back on the couch. "What time is it?" I asked as my mother shut the tv off. "It is...9:45."
I blink. "Only 9:45?" She nodded kissing my forehead, "I'm gonna go take a shower" but I wasn't paying attention because...barely?

It's only 9:45...